Menopause the Musical: A period piece
March 21, 2004 | 12:00am
No question about it. Menopause the Musical is a period piece. That stage in women’s life when their monthly period ceases and they start to feel like they’re going crazy, when losing their reading glasses becomes a daily habit, when they sweat at night wondering who turned off the air-conditioner, when their mood swings get so bad they feel like crying half the time, when their kids move out and leave an empty nest, and when they feel the need to replace their estrogen with chocolate.
Since science gave a name to it, menopause has been the subject of humor, cartoons and complaints. And for the first time, a stage musical. Menopause is written by Jeanie Linders, who was said to have been "inspired by a hot flash and a bottle of wine." The Philippine production stars Mitch Valdes as the power suit-wearing business exec, Nanette Inventor as the hippie/Earth Mother, Leah Navarro as the aging soap star and Sheila Francisco as the Iowa housewife. Directed by Leo Rialp, the show was brought to the Philippines by Bahaghari Productions and produced by Carmita Francisco, Nina Romualdez, Margie Floirendo and Maan Hontiveros, and Museum Museum’s Precy Florentino.
Menopause isn’t the "silent passage" anymore. Today, it’s a billion-dollar industry of supplements, therapy, natural remedies, psychoanalysis and support group. At last weekend’s show at the Music Museum, it felt just like that: a support group.
While the women sang about The Change (cue horror movie music), the audience composed of menopausal women, pre-menopausal women and men nodded their heads in understanding, howled with laughter and stomped their feet to the music. The only thing missing was forming a circle, holding hands and lighting a candle in the middle to send the evil that is menopause to outer space.
The musical is set in Bloomingdale’s with four plus-sized ladies going up and down the elevators, in and out of the bathrooms, toting their Bloomies shopping bags. Even as they poke fun at all their symptoms, medications, and the changes their bodies are going through, there is celebration, recognition and acceptance – of their womanhood, this stage in their lives – like they were saying, "Yeah, menopause’s a bitch. But I made it this far."
The setting is significant as well. A department store brings together four women of very diverse backgrounds and beliefs. They meet over a rack of lingerie on sale, then drag their tired feet around the store and a friendship based on their shared experiences develops. Only women would understand how such camaraderie can come out of this experience. After all, men don’t go around discussing their prostate over beer.
One may point out that Linders’ script portrays the four women as archetypal and stereotypical. But then again, the musical pretends to be nothing more than a humorous way of dealing with menopause. This is not the Vagina Monologues where issues such as rape are tackled (strangely, I kept referring to the musical as Vagina Monologues when I was telling colleagues who missed it about it). Besides, even if we insist that women don’t come from these four cookie cutters (hippie, has-been star, tough lady, and pushover), we need to realize that many women don’t have it all – they can, but they don’t. Some women are still confined to the traditional roles of wife and mother, and some to the role of the single, successful career woman. The good news is that for many it is their choice.
The audience was so into it, it was fun to watch their reactions. Even the men, who may or may not deal with menopause by virtue of being married or living with a monster on menopause, seemed to get it. Or at least, they were into the songs.
A large part of the play’s success may be attributed to Linders’ choice of songs to parody, which are popular hits from the Sixties to the Seventies (plus two from 1933 and 1980), and her humorous lyrics, though some of them bordered on boring and corny. I wonder if the musical would have gained as much success if all the music was original.
One of my favorites is when the girls discuss their medssuch as Prozac and St. John’s Wort, and they sing, "My doctor prescribed a pill that eliminated my urge to kill."
The song Heat Wave is turned into Tropical Hot Flash with the lines "My personal summer is really a bummer…Comes on like a car crash…Outside it is nippy, but I’m hot and drippy."
And in the song Looking for Food, they croon, "I turn to a milkshake and call it a friend."
Staying Alive is reworked into Staying Awake: "Well, you can tell by the way I slump my walk I’m a tired girl; no strength to talk. In the mirror, my eyes so red I’ve been up all night, sittin’ in my bed. Now it’s not all right, not OK, and you can look the other way…Staying awake, staying awake, ah, ah, ah, ah, staying awaaaaake."
Linders turns the song My Guy into My Thighs; Puff! The Magic Dragon into Puff! My God I’m Dragging; Wishin’ and Hopin’ to Drippin’ and Tricklin’; I’m Sorry to I’m Flashing; I Got You Babe to I’m your Babe, Ma.
I watched the show with colleagues and friends – five girls who were seeing what their future held and not exactly anticipating it, and one guy who will have it easy (instead of feeling it’s coming like "a car crash," he will simply buy an expensive car when he hits late mid-life). I suppose we were all too early for the show – try 17 years early – but much to our surprise, we were able to relate to the characters. One reason is that while menopause is an age-related stage, the symptoms are not. Even in our thirties, we are beginning to be forgetful, looking for our cars on the wrong parking level; facing the issues of marital sex; still trying to get our mothers off our backs; and dealing with the urge to eat everything in sight.
That night we watched, Mitch Valdes was in the zone. She belted song after song with her powerful voice and did a dead-on (if a bit tired) impression of Tina Turner, complete with the mini skirt and lip work. I’ve been watching Mitch since she was called Maya Valdes and it was such a pleasure to hear her sing and act out the tough New York exec role.
Sheila Francisco also brought the house down as she sang Only You while waving a red microphone in the air. At first, when the three other girls came out in their nighties and pajamas with the microphones, I was a little confused. Only after they started singing about not needing a man to be in bliss did I realize the microphones were supposed to be vibrators.
Did the producers think the audiences would not be able to handle a musical with women waving vibrators around? So when we met Carmita Francisco at the lobby after the show, I complained, "I feel cheated. We’re all mature women here." Besides, we know it’s an American play! Carmita just laughed and said, "You know, I received two text messages last week from Opus Dei members who watched the play. They said the play was good, but could we take out that part?"
Oh well.
Margie Floirendo says they wanted to bring the musical to the Philippines after Precy Florentino saw it off-Broadway last year. "At the time we were looking for a play to stage. She told me it was something that Filipino women could relate to."
Even if the play is targeted to women audiences, Margie says that on some nights "as much as 30 percent of the audience are male." She adds, "Director Leo Rialp went to New York to watch it and he told me that out of 500 people watching, only about 20 are male. Here, women drag their husbands and boyfriends to see it, perhaps to make them understand. Strangely, I once saw a group of men who didn’t have women in their group! I guess everybody finds it funny!"
The play has been more successful than they ever anticipated, says Margie, and they’ve gotten requests to bring it to Cebu, Davao, Iloilo and Zamboanga.
All women, whether they’re in that stage or years away, should be thankful that in this day and age, we can talk about it openly.
But more importantly, we can laugh about it.
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