My Greatest Fear
February 23, 2003 | 12:00am
There is no terror in a bang, only in the anticipation of it. – Alfred Hitchcock, Anglo-American filmmaker
Last week, Philippine STAR columnist Mons Romulo-Tantoco asked some people, "What is your greatest fear?" That question got me thinking for a good few minutes. What is my greatest fear? I know that I have a few great ones so I decided to list them all down first with the hope that later, it would be easy to choose the great abominable winner.
Perhaps it would be a good idea for you to write down your great fears, too. Knowing them would definitely help you understand yourself. So what are my great fears?
1. Dying
Yup. For me, that’s the number one fear that comes to mind. I have yet to meet someone who is truly not afraid to die. The problem with dying is that death is a territory that’s never been chartered. Nobody has ever gone there and come back with a credible, verifiable scientific account of what has happened. The fear of death is, in reality, the chilling natural fear of the unknown.
2. Being in an airplane crash
I have been in a near crash so I know how it feels. Many years ago, I was on a plane from San Francisco to Manila. Some of the stewardesses were my friends so we were huddled in an animated conversation at the galley when the plane suddenly nose-dived. The girls told everyone to go back to their seats and buckle up. It was a good two-minute drop. That is short but during an impending disaster, that’s infinity. Some small objects, pieces of paper, and unsecured luggage came flying towards the back of the plane. One of the girls said, "Get ready–this is it!" and clung to her rosary.
I didn’t really feel the horror of the moment because I was more concerned about my newly bought synthesizers getting wet than about us plunging into the murky depths of the Pacific Ocean. By some lucky stroke of fate, the pilots were able to take control of the plane and brought us back to the right flying altitude. Of course, I never flew that airline again.
3. Crash landing on water
Being on a plane that crashes into the sea would really be terror for me. I don’t know how to swim! Besides, I don’t exactly relish the idea of being a hungry shark’s dinner.
4. Not having enough money
It’s no secret that money keeps you comfortable and feeling secure anywhere you are. While traveling in Rome a few years ago, I was caught in the city during the start of Ferragosto. In case you didn’t know, that’s the time in summer when every Italian goes on vacation. All the shops close and the city literally becomes dead. The locals go either to the beach or up the mountains somewhere. And guess what. The banks close, too!
The funny thing is that the affiliate of my bank had its ATM inside the bank – with no access from the outside if the bank was closed. And I wanted desperately to buy this exquisite18-karat gold bracelet at a posh, exclusive jewelry shop near the Spanish steps. (Buying it in cash instead of on credit would save me a sizable amount of money.) Of course, the jeweler went on vacation, too. I was able to order the piece later through a friend traveling through Italy.
5. Having a major health problem.
Most of us have had friends or relatives who were afflicted with some kind of grave disease. That for me is scary. That’s why I rarely go to doctors for medical exams (although I know I should be getting those yearly executive check ups).
My philosophy regarding this matter is that what I don’t know won’t scare me. Besides every time the doctor tells me I am sick, I feel sicker. But what could be worse than having a major health problem? Having a major health problem and not having any money.
6. Having lived an insignificant life.
This, according to a study conducted by psychologists, is the one thing most adults dread. Everyone wants to live a meaningful life. Everybody wants to live fully and experience the joys and pleasures life can bring. And the ultimate dream of all is to be able to touch the lives of as many people as they can in their lifetime. How horrible it must feel to have lived a meaningless, regretful life.
7. Losing the data in my hard drive.
Good God, this digital age is really getting into our bloodstream. I never thought I’d see the day when going out of the house without my cell phone would make me feel so naked. But today, it is so true. Most people do feel insecure and disconnected without their mobile phones.
And if that’s how I feel about not having my cell phone with me, can you imagine how I would feel if I lost all the data in my hard drive? I’d be in mourning for a year! I’m sure you’d feel the same way, too. God forbid!
8. A huge fire
There is no thief like a ravaging fire. A huge fire can totally gut all your possessions and just that thought is scary enough. Fire extinguishes tangible proofs of your memories. Somehow nobody is ever complete without them.
9. Not developing my brain enough; not using my talents enough
God gave us an amazing brain and incredible talents to develop and use. How horrid if we were to die without making use of these gifts to the fullest. They are here to be discovered, honed, enjoyed, and most of all, shared. I have decided that I can’t go back to heaven (wishful thinking!) with these presents unopened and used. I will have to follow what my heart says must be done. And to hell with what other people say!
10. The political and economic downfall of the Philippines
Now this for me is really scary. Life is steadily becoming harder and more difficult in the Philippines. I have always complained about why our country is geographically blessed and rich yet our people are so poor. Money is in the hands of a very few. We have politicians who only care about flaunting the power of their office and raking in all the money they can get.
We elect people who know nothing about governance and economy (Good God, some can’t even speak decent English!). They haven’t even sat in office yet and they are already employing corrupt tactics – they use money to buy the votes of the illiterate electorate. For the uninformed poor, this means P500 worth of fun today for a lifetime of poverty and regret. Looking back at recent history, this country has gone to the dogs and I really fear where we will find ourselves next.
Nothing is permanent. We won’t be here for long. Even the mightiest dictator will die, too. We must create a legacy for the generations to come. We must solve our political and economic problems while we still can.
The best way to eliminate fear is simply to face it. I need you to join me to help find ways to save this country. Our Philippine Quiet Revolution can’t be silent any longer. We must guide every Filipino especially for the coming national elections as early as right now. Every nation-loving citizen should actively campaign for clean elections and most importantly, intelligent elections.
We are not dumb. We know what is wrong with this country. We must right it! And the most significant step we can take is by putting the right people in the right office to lead and govern us.
How can we make the Filipino realize the value of his vote? How can we make this country a better place for us and for generations to come? Please e-mail me your bright ideas and we shall let the whole Philippines know.
Reviewing my line up of great fears, I realize that my greatest fear is not on the list. My true greatest fear will come on that day when the Philippines will go crashing down to its final destruction and I would be faced with my greatest regret. That I knew it was coming but did nothing about it.
A note for Auralie: Excusez-moi mais j’ai perdu votre numero de portable. Pouvez-vous me le redonner? Merci.
I’d love to hear from you! E-mail DeroSeminar@yahoo.com or text/call 0920-4053233. Should you wish to forward this article, please acknowledge The Philippine STAR and the author. Reprinting, recording or publishing this article in any form requires copyright permission from the author.
Last week, Philippine STAR columnist Mons Romulo-Tantoco asked some people, "What is your greatest fear?" That question got me thinking for a good few minutes. What is my greatest fear? I know that I have a few great ones so I decided to list them all down first with the hope that later, it would be easy to choose the great abominable winner.
Perhaps it would be a good idea for you to write down your great fears, too. Knowing them would definitely help you understand yourself. So what are my great fears?
1. Dying
Yup. For me, that’s the number one fear that comes to mind. I have yet to meet someone who is truly not afraid to die. The problem with dying is that death is a territory that’s never been chartered. Nobody has ever gone there and come back with a credible, verifiable scientific account of what has happened. The fear of death is, in reality, the chilling natural fear of the unknown.
2. Being in an airplane crash
I have been in a near crash so I know how it feels. Many years ago, I was on a plane from San Francisco to Manila. Some of the stewardesses were my friends so we were huddled in an animated conversation at the galley when the plane suddenly nose-dived. The girls told everyone to go back to their seats and buckle up. It was a good two-minute drop. That is short but during an impending disaster, that’s infinity. Some small objects, pieces of paper, and unsecured luggage came flying towards the back of the plane. One of the girls said, "Get ready–this is it!" and clung to her rosary.
I didn’t really feel the horror of the moment because I was more concerned about my newly bought synthesizers getting wet than about us plunging into the murky depths of the Pacific Ocean. By some lucky stroke of fate, the pilots were able to take control of the plane and brought us back to the right flying altitude. Of course, I never flew that airline again.
3. Crash landing on water
Being on a plane that crashes into the sea would really be terror for me. I don’t know how to swim! Besides, I don’t exactly relish the idea of being a hungry shark’s dinner.
4. Not having enough money
It’s no secret that money keeps you comfortable and feeling secure anywhere you are. While traveling in Rome a few years ago, I was caught in the city during the start of Ferragosto. In case you didn’t know, that’s the time in summer when every Italian goes on vacation. All the shops close and the city literally becomes dead. The locals go either to the beach or up the mountains somewhere. And guess what. The banks close, too!
The funny thing is that the affiliate of my bank had its ATM inside the bank – with no access from the outside if the bank was closed. And I wanted desperately to buy this exquisite18-karat gold bracelet at a posh, exclusive jewelry shop near the Spanish steps. (Buying it in cash instead of on credit would save me a sizable amount of money.) Of course, the jeweler went on vacation, too. I was able to order the piece later through a friend traveling through Italy.
5. Having a major health problem.
Most of us have had friends or relatives who were afflicted with some kind of grave disease. That for me is scary. That’s why I rarely go to doctors for medical exams (although I know I should be getting those yearly executive check ups).
My philosophy regarding this matter is that what I don’t know won’t scare me. Besides every time the doctor tells me I am sick, I feel sicker. But what could be worse than having a major health problem? Having a major health problem and not having any money.
6. Having lived an insignificant life.
This, according to a study conducted by psychologists, is the one thing most adults dread. Everyone wants to live a meaningful life. Everybody wants to live fully and experience the joys and pleasures life can bring. And the ultimate dream of all is to be able to touch the lives of as many people as they can in their lifetime. How horrible it must feel to have lived a meaningless, regretful life.
7. Losing the data in my hard drive.
Good God, this digital age is really getting into our bloodstream. I never thought I’d see the day when going out of the house without my cell phone would make me feel so naked. But today, it is so true. Most people do feel insecure and disconnected without their mobile phones.
And if that’s how I feel about not having my cell phone with me, can you imagine how I would feel if I lost all the data in my hard drive? I’d be in mourning for a year! I’m sure you’d feel the same way, too. God forbid!
8. A huge fire
There is no thief like a ravaging fire. A huge fire can totally gut all your possessions and just that thought is scary enough. Fire extinguishes tangible proofs of your memories. Somehow nobody is ever complete without them.
9. Not developing my brain enough; not using my talents enough
God gave us an amazing brain and incredible talents to develop and use. How horrid if we were to die without making use of these gifts to the fullest. They are here to be discovered, honed, enjoyed, and most of all, shared. I have decided that I can’t go back to heaven (wishful thinking!) with these presents unopened and used. I will have to follow what my heart says must be done. And to hell with what other people say!
10. The political and economic downfall of the Philippines
Now this for me is really scary. Life is steadily becoming harder and more difficult in the Philippines. I have always complained about why our country is geographically blessed and rich yet our people are so poor. Money is in the hands of a very few. We have politicians who only care about flaunting the power of their office and raking in all the money they can get.
We elect people who know nothing about governance and economy (Good God, some can’t even speak decent English!). They haven’t even sat in office yet and they are already employing corrupt tactics – they use money to buy the votes of the illiterate electorate. For the uninformed poor, this means P500 worth of fun today for a lifetime of poverty and regret. Looking back at recent history, this country has gone to the dogs and I really fear where we will find ourselves next.
The best way to eliminate fear is simply to face it. I need you to join me to help find ways to save this country. Our Philippine Quiet Revolution can’t be silent any longer. We must guide every Filipino especially for the coming national elections as early as right now. Every nation-loving citizen should actively campaign for clean elections and most importantly, intelligent elections.
We are not dumb. We know what is wrong with this country. We must right it! And the most significant step we can take is by putting the right people in the right office to lead and govern us.
How can we make the Filipino realize the value of his vote? How can we make this country a better place for us and for generations to come? Please e-mail me your bright ideas and we shall let the whole Philippines know.
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