Indianed!

I don’t know how or why the term nang-indian or ini-indian came to be but for as long as I can remember it has always been associated with off-putting implications. As a child looking forward to the arrival of my neighborhood playmates who sometimes could not make it, my yaya would comfort me by saying "tomorrow they will not indian you" or the yaya of my absent playmate would call me to say "sorry na-indian ka ni Dayday. When I reached high school and college that term was often used within the margins of dating. When your boyfriend or blind date stands you up, you (and your ego) are officially stamped as na-indian. As of yesterday though, its meaning had officially expanded as far as I’m concerned. My bubbly friend Ana called me up at a dead hour in the afternoon (she’s been away for almost a week) and the first thing she blurts out after a quick hello is "Okay, okay the indian gift is yours."

Let me fill you in. This past Christmas, Cathy’s gift to me was a chest of drawers big enough to hold all my odds and ends yet small enough to put on top of my desk. I have long been looking for something like this because it does wonders in making my work area clutter-free while keeping all my supplies still well within reach.

I loved it so much that soon after I unwrapped that present I texted Cathy to ask her where she had gotten it because I wanted a couple more of them. Well first, the bad news–my present was the last of the remaining two she had and because she got it at a trade show, it was practically impossible to get some more. The good news though was that she still remembered to whom she had given the other one. Even better news was that person happened to be another friend of ours, Ana! Hmmmm.

As if on cue, Cathy and I mentally "connived" to try to convince Ana to give up her gift because in retrospect, two of that exact gift with just one person would make a complete set and would be better than both Ana and I having only one each. Besides, I needed it more than she did. She was going to use it to house her jewelry (hello, she buys stones bigger than your eyes and mine combined) so her whole collection wouldn’t fit in them anyway while I wanted them for a more functional purpose. Cathy, in her usual helpful way, texted back to say that if she only had one more she would gladly let me have it but since the only other source would be Ana she would try to ask Ana if she would be willing to give hers up for me. I totally forgot about that until Ana called me to tell me the good news. I would have my second mini-chest and she was graciously giving it to me. On the condition of course that Cathy would replace it with something even better! And knowing Cathy she would do just that. She has a knack for finding presents and things that others would probably miss. Ana has that talent as well. Actually, come to think of it most people have their "secret" haunts and havens–all of which vary according to their interests.

Anyway, I also remember a night two years ago in Ana’s house when she and her husband Archie treated us to a home-cooked Japanese meal. She used a most wonderful serving tray that was made of some sturdy, resin material that was a full size bigger than the cute ones we would otherwise find in the department stores. Right then and there Cathy and I told her that we wanted that as a Christmas present. We even wanted to bring it home with us that night! Poor Ana, guarding her beloved tray with her life, had to tell us that it was just a prototype and that she would order some for us. "But we want two each," Cathy and I further teased her. Suffice it to say that we did get our trays as Christmas presents and we still have them to this day.

See, friendship is like that. There is that underbelly of acceptance that it’s okay to stretch the rules of propriety without compromising the existing relationship. Ana did not, for a moment feel offended that we were cajoling her to give up her present. If she had said that she really, really liked that little chest it would be perfectly fine with me. And if she had said that she wanted my chest of drawers to add to hers I probably would do the same thing she did and happily give in. But yes, either way we would bug Cathy endlessly to outdo herself and find something similar. (Trust me, she would have risen to the challenge.)

I remember another friend of mine who once told me that she had an agreement with another friend of hers that at Christmas or her birthday, she would go out to get herself a gift and when they see each other all she has to do is tell him that he had already bought her something. Instead of wracking his brain trying to come up with the perfect present, she made life easier for him by choosing the gift she wanted and just billing him. And it’s not like she is taking advantage or vice versa. It will take a certain level of closeness to make these kind of things acceptable but it is possible.

In our case, Cathy was the Indian giver, the mini-chest was the Indian gift, Ana was the gracious victim and I was the happy final recipient. But the Indian cycle (of the mini-chest at least) ends with me and that’s about all there is to it.