A one-night stand(up) with Rex Navarrete

Three hours before his last free public show in Manila, Rex Navarrete’s voice is threatening to quit. He was up very early that morning to do an interview on NU107, and now, this.

"I’m tired. Leave me alone, people!" he wails mockingly.

Since he arrived almost a month ago, fans have been hounding him, asking for autographs, the media have been trying to book interviews. And all the guy wants is some peace and quiet.

Too late, we tell him. He’s now reached rock-star status – and he doesn’t even have to wear a leather jacket or brood or trash a hotel room, but still everybody wants a piece of Rex Navarrete: This brown stand-up comic who verbalizes so well every single anomalous behavior that characterizes being Filipino.

In a country where laughing at our own cultural eccentricities and irrational behavior is a national pastime, Rex Navarrete is the unofficial spokesperson of every Filipino who ever had a Tito Boy in his life, the guy who, according to Rex, would watch Animal Planet and boast to his six-year-old niphyu that, hell, yeah, he once had as pulutan that animal and that and that, too; or a lola who would try to "corner his ass" to pray the rosary right now because "Jesus cannot hang around waiting for you"; or anyone who ever wondered why Batman was hanging around with that Boy Wonder Robin and why the boy liked going "down the Bat pole."

So you ask: Where does Rex get this shit? The same place we get our own shtick that we perform in the classroom, at the office, during inuman with friends. It’s his experiences – "real Rex moments," he calls them – and our experiences, too.

Which is why Rex Navarrete connects with his audiences. He tells us some things we’ve known all along and he tells us things we’ve never noticed before. Except that he puts it much better: He knows how to make a funny sketch out of all these stereotypes and he is a performer. Yet he wouldn’t do the too-easy stuff either. No dog-eating jokes – he prefers the rhinoceros jokes.

At last Wednesday’s "Rex Navarrete Returns" in the Food Choices of Greenebelt 3 (his second free, public performance sponsored by Ayala Center and Ace Saatchi and Saatchi – there was supposed to be only one free show but Ayala people were barraged by requests after his first one), the unofficial count was a thousand people. On a weekday. Imagine that.

As soon as Rex took the mike, everybody already had a laugh lurking somewhere in his gut. Oh, this is gonna be sooooo worth the traffic later. In two minutes, Rex had warmed up his audience with his sketch of the typical Pinoy greeting of raising one’s head and eyebrows. In five minutes, he had his audience by the balls. In 15 minutes, he could have crashed into anyone’s home for a month.

My favorite sketches from the show (and Rex’s first album, "Badly Browned") were the ones that were sharp and satirical – keen observations of the Filipino culture – because they drove home the point so effortlessly. Yeah, he’s making fun of you, but it gets you thinking and laughing too. You begin to wonder which colonizer screwed us up so badly as to make us the way we are. To use a famous quote: Was it the 300 years in the convent or the 50 years in Hollywood?

In the FOB (fresh off the boat) sketch, Rex says there were eight Filipino-Indios on the first ship that circumnavigated the globe. Can you imagine the kind of dialogue that went on? Who’s gonna be the decision maker on that boat and say, Hey, I’m gonna be the first one to step on what is now known as California. "Ignacio, come here. The captain wants one of us to get off the boat, but I don’t wanna be the first FOB. I don’t want that kind of presyur." When they finally got them off the boat, eight Filipino-Indios on the sand – picture taking! You tell them there’s picture taking, they’ll move. Picture taking on the beach? You betcha.

He can easily shift from history to archeology: I have real proof that Filipinos once walked the earth like giants, like mammoths. Discovery Channel showed it only once. Filipinos walked the earth 40, 50 feet tall. You go to any Filipino house and look in the dining room and you’ll see on the walls the wooden fork and spoon. That was a real archaeological find for us right there.

Rex’s 1997 "Badly Browned" album contains wonderful material, especially Mormon Boys and Lola’s Rosary (the Tito Boy sketch is included in this album as well). There are others though, that I thought should have been more tightly edited for a sharper punchline (like Lola’s Rosary, which should have ended with satan’s voice asking, "Lola, what do you think now?").

While he doesn’t do headline spin in this album, he pointedly sends up the people who do.

Balitang K is the most horrible TV show I’ve ever seen. "Ahhhh, dead body, look, close-up, close-up, can you see? He’s dead, look!!!" Man, it’s like the most exploitative show ever, like the parents of the dead are going, "Oooh, look, there’s our son, wow, he’s on TV. He’s dead."

And he wonders aloud the very first time someone craved for balut: Whatever gave Filipinos the urge to somehow get a craving for something like unborn duck? What’s the story behind that, man? Back in the day, "You know, I’m craving for something ispisyal, something very unique, something unborn. How about a duck egg?

"I think we should just stop right there. Because in the future Filipino guys would be congregating in an alley and saying, "You know, I’m craving for the placenta of a gazelle."

The sketches that got the biggest laughs at his Greenbelt 3 show were the ones that relied on the butchered "English karabaw" for reaction: the play on words, the puns. One of them is the oft-requested SBC Packers (a parody of LBC), a sketch that plays on accents and puns.

And then, there’s Maritess vs. Superfriends, an eight-minute sketch that Rex has put a new spin on by having Maritess telling the story while she is already employed by another group of superheroes, the X-Men. Our Pinay domestic helper tearfully recounts her experience in the Hall of Justice. I thought the most sharp-witted line was: My visa just ran out two months ago. I’m an illegal alien. But Superman is from Krypton, he’s alien, he’s here, he can stay here. I can’t stay and I’m from earth. That’s not fair. That’s not right. Because he’s white, that’s why.

Whether it’s irrational human behavior or irrational human invention, Rex uses it to make a story and drive home a point – sometimes poignant, often brutal but always veiled in laughter.

But in this day and age, comedy can sometimes still be segregated. For every Chris Rock, there are still African-American comedians whose venues are filled by black audiences only. For every Margaret Cho, there are still comedians who play only for Asians. That was the difficult thing for Rex in the beginning. He was too exotic, they said. But he persevered and finally won the game his own way.

So, contrary to the title of his first album, Rex Navarrete is not Badly Browned, he’s actually quite Well Done.

Excerpts:

The Philippine STAR: What was the appeal of comedy for you in the first place?

It’s fun. I enjoy it a lot. My favorite people, good friends of mine, are comedians. Stand-up comedy doesn’t need a lot of preparation and a lot of stage setup, it’s just a really short sound check, no costume changes, no makeup or whatever. It’s just straight dialogue and you get to travel and meet lots of people.

Do you perform mostly on the West Coast?

All over the United States. Mostly to Filipino audiences but it can be mixed. It’s always been like that.

Have you ever had a show that bombed?

Yeah, maybe early on in my career. I work on statistics. I think most of my shows are good. A good part of a show is good, nice part of it is great and some parts need work.

I read that one of your influences was Richard Pryor. Do you see parallels in the black experience and the Filipino experience in the US?

I don’t see exact parallels, but I do see the same sort of origins, except for the slavery part, like cultural transition, being looked at as an outsider, a foreigner. Both cultures are pretty expressive. There’s a lot of heritage involved, lots of rhythm.

A lot of comedians have the same pop culture references…

I hardly do pop culture references.

The Superfriends, Tamagotchi?

Oh yeah, the Superfriends will always be around but I always remember them as the superheroes I grew up with in the ‘70s and ‘80s. If I do pop culture references, then it’s gotta be a timeless piece. I can’t be talking about some fad or fashion that expires fairly quick.

Dave Chapelle (a black comedian) has a different take on the Superfriends.

Yeah, what’s his take?

That whenever there’s a crisis, Superman would go to the nuclear power plant or Wonder Woman would fight the enemy and the Black Lightning (the black superhero) would be left behind to answer the phones.

(Laughs) Oh. Mine is Aquaman. (In Rex’s act, Aquaman gets to stay behind when there’s a crisis in, say, Nebraska, because there’s no ocean there. He plays mahjong with Maritess instead.) It’s great that we kinda ride on the same things. I wrote mine a long time ago, in 1997.

Have you retired Maritess vs. The Super friends?

Does it look like it? People here keep requesting me to do that one. I never do it in North America.

Why not?

It’s long and it’s hard. But I found a way to redo it now. I just turned it into cartoon so I don’t have to do it again. But look what happened, man. God, all they wanna hear is Maritess and SBC Packers. Please, leave me alone.

Maybe you should do something like Jerry Seinfeld’s "I’m Telling you for the Last Time" to retire your material.

They’ll kill me. They’re gonna shoot me in the parking lot.

Do you do one-liners like Seven Wright?

No. Unless I do puns. It’s too much to remember, one liners. I can’t remember them. I have a bad memory. I’m like dyslexic or something. I write too much but I can’t remember any of it.

What’s it like performing on stage?

Scary. Look at this (gesturing at the seats in Food Choices), every seat is gonna be filled here tonight. It’s scary to do it. I really can’t explain it, it’s like going into battle by myself.

Does your mind ever go blank on stage?

I wish it would so I wouldn’t feel the pain and nervousness.

Have you ever been discriminated against in the US and do you use this as material?

If I have, it’s very slight and subtle. Like in terms of being a comic of color. They won’t give you stage time. They’re looking for something new, something perky, something white. In terms of alternative comedy, it’s all about the quirky, strange, odd white guy. Every now and then they’ll have the strange, odd black guy, and then they’ll go into women. After the women is the male comic of color.

What about Margaret Cho, she’s Asian but she now has three albums out.

Yeah, she’s filled a niche. A big part of her following is the gay male market. There’s not a whole lot of Asian American comics. Mine is Filipino and Asian, no matter if you’re straight or gay.

Why did you decide to self-produce your albums?

Total control.

Which one’s your favorite?

The latest one, "Bastos."

What is it about being Filipino that you find just absurd?

Maybe it’s the extreme of being Filipino. You can be so Catholic or Christian, but never forgive any of your friends or family. You bring it to your grave. Be buried with your money. A lot of hypocrisy in being Filipino, there’s a lot of duality also. Lots of conflict.

Growing up in America, did you experience this conflict?

Yeah, being raised as a Filipino, trying to follow all the traditions and customs, and at the same time learning English and trying to be American as much as possible, which means being individualistic, independent and idealistic.

America is the worst place to bring up your children if you want them to stay Filipino. Don’t bring them to a country that promotes independence and voicing one’s opinion. That doesn’t work in a Filipino house.

When you were starting as a comedian, did your family ever tell you to get a real job?

Yeah. I didn’t tell them the first two years. They didn’t want to know that I was doing comedy.

What did they think you were doing what?

Just traveling. It was none of their business yet. It was something I wanted to try out for myself for the first two or three years, to see if I could really do it, if I could get the hang of it.

How were those years like?

The first five years are horrible. I tell that to any young person who wants to be a comic. You might have a good gig here and there, but for every one gig that’s great, you get 20 that suck because you’re still finding your style and rhythm. It’s painful and really hard. I’ve performed hundreds and hundreds of times already and it’s still a process of getting better at it.

The writing part is one thing, the performance part is very different. A joke can look great on paper, but when you do it on stage, in front of people who pay money – wow, you’d better be good, you’d better be doing your homework.

Did you have gigs that didn’t pay much?

Yeah, gas money gigs. Ten US bucks.

Shit. Really?

(Laughs) Horrible, huh? You drive all the way from your house in San Francisco to maybe a gig in San Jose or Santa Cruz, which is like an hour-and-a-half away and all they give you is $10. That’s it man, thank you.

Didn’t that make you feel like doing something else, maybe accounting?

Yeah, I did other stuff, I worked here and there. But I wanted to stick to this. The only thing I wanted to do in my life was be a writer and performer of stand-up comedy. That’s what I’m designed to do right now. I mean, I’m a pretty good shot, you can hire me as a bodyguard, I can play congas, but the best thing I can do has always been stand-up comedy for the last 15 years and counting.

When you were struggling as a comedian, weren’t you tempted to do what Pryor called "white-bread comedy"?

That was offered yes, it’s always been the model. But I knew in my gut that I shouldn’t and also obviously to a lot of comics of color who were my colleagues – Is this right? Are we supposed to do this?

What do you hate most about being a stand-up comic?

Just the nature of the business. The discrimination inside the business. That the fate of your career is in the hands of the very few untalented managers, booking agents out there, club owners and TV producers. Really untalented – really, they don’t know how to see talent. They see us and say, "I don’t see how to book you. You’re too exotic, you’re too dark, your material – even though it’s in English – white people don’t get it so how can I get you work?" That’s what I faced in the beginning. And I just went on my own way. If your model doesn’t work, then I’m gonna find my own way. I’m gonna perform for own communities, colleges, put out my own products, and they’ll come. If I can’t find my own audience, I’ll let them find me. I’ll put the word out, I’ll keep doing the work and they’ll find me. It’s worked. It truly has. It’s mind boggling to my colleagues. These guys are still fighting for stage time after five years, they’re like "I was in this one club and you gotta kiss ass and I do seven minutes and that’s it. I don’t get paid. I still have my day job."

And you have groupies now. Someone was telling me of people who go to all your shows in Manila.

Not groupies but people who really respect the work. They’re nice people, they’re not weird.

They’re not stalkers…

They’re not stalkers. The ones who like my stuff are people who genuinely love comedy. I’m a comedy fan too. I just get to do it. That’s the only difference. I’m so big a comedy fan that I get to do it.

What was the first stand-up act you saw live?

Gosh, when I was in middle school, junior high. I went to a comic book science fiction convention in San Francisco and I looked at the program. Hey, there’s gonna be some guy telling jokes. At a comic book convention? So me and my best friend went to see him. Oh my God, it was just one guy – his name is Rick Overton – and he did a lot of scifi, comic-book stand-up comedy.

That’s a niche.

It was great. This guy did really well. I was just dying and dying. I couldn’t believe it. Just one guy with a microphone destroying the room. Like putting Elmer Fudd in the movie Alien. (In Elmer Fudd voice) "Be very quiet, I’m not an alien" (laughing).

Did you start to collect stand-up comedy albums after that?

Yeah, lots of Eddie Murphy, lots and lots of comedy.

I lost my Delirious and Raw copies. I think they’re collector items now.

You can still get them. They’re coming out in DVD.

Sam Kinison has a DVD pack now.

He should have. If not, find the CDs. Those are worth collecting. I tried to collect as many as the old DVDs and CDs, they’re hard to find, even the vinyls. It’s good research for me, it keeps me grounded. My stuff is nothing new, the only thing new is that a Filipino guy is doing it and he’s been consistent in the last five years.

A lot of stand-up comedians become movie stars or TV talk show hosts. Do you want to take the same route?

Get big head? Don’t talk to your fans anymore?

Is that what happens?

That’s evil. A lot of actors use stand-up comedy only as a stepping stone to become actors and superstars. Get that sitcom, that movie deal and they never return back to their roots. I find that really phony and disrespectful to stand-up comedy, which is an art and a craft in itself. Robin Williams is one of the few guys who come back to do it. And Drew Carrey…

Steve Martin?

He’s a good host, so he still got that stand-up rhythm, but he doesn’t hit the road like Chris Rock. When you come back to your roots, that’s how you keep your chops up, that’s how you stay sharp. It’s about interacting with people face to face and not on camera.

Jerry Seinfeld quit his TV show to do stand-up.

Yeah, and what happened?

He just retired his material! That route isn’t for you?

I don’t know. It could go either way. I mean, Margaret Cho did it. She got an ABC sitcom, but she returned to stand-up. She’s one of the best ones around and she’s a colleague of mine – we worked way back in the beginning. She’s also from San Francisco.

Is there a big community of stand-up comedians there?

It’s very tight, yeah. We all know each other. We keep contact and keep tabs on each other. The biggest one in our pond is Robin Williams. He made a lot of effort to come back to stand-up. He would take breaks and just pop into a club, "Can I do an hour?" Sure, Robin. No practice. People paid five bucks to get in, and "Oh my God, it’s Robin Williams." It’s not his best show, he’s just really working out the kinks in his material, like a workshop.

And the club owner doesn’t have to pay him ten bucks.

For his show, you pay hundreds of bucks. He did an HBO special recently at Carneigie Hall.

What’s your ultimate dream venue?

I actually like to play here. Is it CCP?

Yeah. That’s about 1,800 seats. That would be great.

I would love to play there, just for the people (laughs) and the President.

Do you do a lot of social issues in your act?

I try to. Every project or every year, I try to write stuff that says something about what’s going on and how people treat each other. The family stuff is there. But what I really wanna do is political commentary as much as I can. Otherwise, I just keep it mixed.

Can I run some topics by you? What’s the deal with Middle-East terrorists?

If they weren’t funded by western terrorists, they wouldn’t be Middle-Eastern terrorists.

President Arroyo?

Reminds me of my auntie. Kinda scary. You know that auntie that always pushes you around when your mom isn’t home? And you always listen to her: "Rex could you get this, Rex please get the groceries out of my car" (in a spinster aunt voice).

Erap?

Needs a lot of help.

Gay sex?

Hey, everyone has their own way, you know (laughs).

Lesbians?

I got lots of them as friends.

Do you use them as material?

Not really, I try to write from what I know. Maybe later, when I’m mature enough.

Manila traffic.

Bumper cars that don’t bump.

They did a survey once and found out that one of the top things people do when stuck in traffic is…

Text?

Pick their nose?

Oh, yeah. You gotta keep it clean for the next layer of pollution. You don’t want it to build up all at once. That’s why all the tinting on cars, so don’t see your neighbor picking his nose and they won’t see you. So we’re covered.

Porn movies?

Interesting. Good fun. Great fiction.

George W. Bush?

We have a dumb-ass president. Really, at least his dad was smart – and evil. This one’s just stupid and evil. I’d rather deal with Satan than his assistant. A lot of Americans love him, you know, bomb the hell out of Afghanistan. It’s a horrible world.

The Pope?

I don’t know if I –. Hmmm. I don’t take him seriously or the Vatican. I have every right not to, I guess. Still a Christian and Catholic.

Jackie Mason makes fun of being Jewish, George Carlin of being Irish Catholic. What is it about religion…

I don’t know how religion can be so organized, like the Pope’s the president, he’s basically the emperor of Christendom. It’s strange to me. I’ve seen him before, in Rome, went to mass.

Did you get to kiss his ring?

No, I just gave him a flying kiss.

Have you seen any of the local comedy acts and what do you think of the scene?

Yeah, about three years ago. It’s such a gay-dominated market here. That’s why my being here is such a fluke. I hope there’s enough room for different kinds of comedy. Gay comedy is pretty much it in Manila.

How would you describe your own comedy?

I like to keep it conscious but also flirty and cartoony. It can be a good combination. I’m still trying to figure it out.

Is there anything you wouldn’t turn into material?

I don’t know. For some things, I would wait. You can’t really touch subjects like death and tragedy. Give it some time. We can laugh about World War II now, well maybe not, some people are still alive. Let’s talk about the War of 1812, how about the civil war in the United States? No survivors.

How long does it take you to write your material?

It depends. Could be as quick as a minute, right on the spot, or months and months. Like Maritess took me a long time. SBC took me longer. The version I do now for SBC is an offshoot of a version that I wrote and did once in 1991 or 1992, back when it was a comedy sketch with other comics.

Were you a class clown?

No, I was a class comedian.

What’s the difference?

Comedians never got busted, class clown always got busted.

Are there a lot of Filipino American comedians?

Not a lot. There’s only a few of us still working, some in San Francisco and LA. The other ones are still working out their careers. But I have to be what I have to be, I’m not at that point where, hey, let’s all join forces and become one big comedy tour. I have to do this by myself. I’m the only one who’s ever stepped outside the US to do comedy in Canada, Hawaii, Guam, and this time, really playing to everybody in Manila.

So you go to where Filipinos are. What about Saudi Arabia?

Maybe someday, if they want me.

Your coming here has generated a lot of interest in stand-up comedy. I heard they’re building a new comedy club.

Comfort Room. Yeah, no gay comedy. No making fun of the patrons, unless you’re a heckler.

You don’t do that?

No, it’s too easy and it’s hurtful. It damages people. People come to the show to be entertained, inspired, bothered (points to his head),but not assaulted. That’s not my style. But if they wanna do it and people love it, go for it.

Have you had walkouts?

Yeah. That’s cool, everyone has a personal choice. I don’t take it personally. They’re expecting a clown to do impressions, I’m not that. Watch Jim Carrey. He’s very talented but not politically minded. I come from a different tradition.

Among the comedians now, who do you look up to?

Instead of saying names, maybe just the ones who matter. The ones to whom truth matters, the ones who do the painful stuff, the ones who always don’t get a lot of support for their ideas an thoughts. For the most part, comics write what they preach and preach what they believe. The ones who are brave enough to say it – and hopefully it’s funny. Otherwise you’d be an activist, not a stand-up comic.

What are the painful stuff for you?

Maybe loss, racism, discrimination – those are the stuff I like to write about. Racism is something that hasn’t been taken care of.

Do you talk about your family or families in general?

I talk about families in general, or my family would get mad at me.

What are the most absurd things about Filipino Americans living in the US?

The illusion of inclusion, that they’ve made it, that now they’re white. We left this third-world nation, we got a house, the kids are in school, we have cars, and that’s it. There’s no more racism, no more discrimination, we’re on the map, people know who we are. When they don’t, good, we’ve assimilated well enough. That still kinda bothers me. I want Filipinos have a big sense of who they are. Some people are deeply ashamed of being Filipinos. That’s why I do the stuff I do, some people don’t like it. Hey, we’re in America now, lose the accent. Don’t talk like that coz people will think we still sound like that. We do sound like that. People in the Philippines still sound like that.

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E-mail the author at crazyquilt@antisocial.com