Weddings, weedings, whatever!

Two events last February made me decide to write about weddings. First, my husband and I woke up one Monday morning and both forgot that it was our ninth wedding anniversary. We saw each other as usual in the bathroom, living room and at the breakfast table but the only word I got from him was "Please pass the newspaper." On the other hand, the only word he got from me was "Here it is." Then our cook asked me if I was eating home and I said yes. I don’t remember what my husband told the cook but he never knows whether he can come home for dinner anyway. That’s why he can’t complain when he suddenly comes home for dinner and has to settle for instant noodles and sardines.

I left for the office as usual and got there at 9 a.m. At 10 a.m., my husband called and said, "Do you remember what day it is?" Oh no! I had forgotten all about our anniversary! Or let’s put it another way – he had remembered about it earlier than I would have had. This is one of those rare times, I think, that I could say we were compatible.

The second event that made me think of writing about weddings is the forthcoming June wedding (of the year) of presidential son Mikey Arroyo and Angela Montenegro. I understand that they will have a thousand guests for cocktails after the wedding. I hope that when they reach their ninth wedding anniversary, they won’t lose their memory like my husband and me.

As I look back at my own wedding, I realized that like fashion, wedding practices have also evolved through the years. Here are examples:

1. The couple, and no longer the parents, decides on the guest list. And so unless you are a high-ranking government official or a prominent businessman, you hardly see guest lists nowadays that go beyond 500 people.

One reason is that young people like more intimate weddings. They no longer like weddings wherein you recognize only half of the guests and the other half, you’ve never met in your whole life and probably do not intend to meet again. The second reason is simple economics, especially if you’re paying for your own wedding. The younger you are, the more broke you are. The third reason is that you don’t want to get kidnapped on your wedding day. The kidnappers all think that if you can afford to feed a thousand guests, you can afford to feed a thousand kidnappers.

2. The wedding reception is getting simpler. No one wants to sit at the presidential table anymore and look like moderators of a symposium. The couple would rather sit at a round table and chat with their parents and godparents. Also, the practice of releasing the doves during the reception has all but disappeared. With the pollution in Manila, their survival rate must be so low. Or maybe it takes too much time for the hotel staff to get them off the chandelier after they fly out of the bell. To save on logistical costs, the hotel got rid of the doves.

Many Chinoy couples are moving away from Chinese lauriats to Western sitdown dinners. That’s because Chinese lauriats take too long to start (because everyone thinks everyone will be late) and take too long to finish (because there are about a dozen dishes). By the time the food is served, your tummy is already full of finger foods like peanuts and pickles.

3. The wedding invitation is also getting simpler. Many invitations no longer have a page on sponsors, and for Chinoy couples, many have moved away from the elaborate red invitation with gold characters. The perfume on these red invitations can knock you silly. It’s even stronger than the perfume the bride wears on her wedding day. What I still cannot understand, however, is when there is a page for sponsors, some of these guys insist on being called "Doctor," "Attorney," Judge," "Fiscal," "Architect," "Engineer," "Commissioner," "Superintendent," etc. What exactly is the purpose of this?

3. While the reception gets simpler, the wedding becomes a production in itself – what with a famous recording artist, a famous chorale and a famous quartet providing the music. The pews are decorated with flowers galore that sometimes the couple cannot see the faces of their guests when they walk down the aisle. Also, guests are provided with elaborately printed missalettes. I suppose the missalettes are needed especially for some guests whose minds tend to wander or whose eyes tend to droop during the ceremony. Do you still remember the time when weddings were held at 7 in the morning and the reception was brunch?

4. The giveaways are getting more creative and in fact, more practical. But the most practical one for me is still the cake they gave away during the ’60s. During the ’70s, we had ceramic lovebirds, ceramic bells, ceramic jewelry boxes and ceramic figurines. Once in a while a guest would run off with a ceramic plate but that phenomenon, sorry to say, still occurs up to now unless DepEd includes "Ethics" as part of the yearly curriculum. Then came the ’90s and all the ceramic stuff transformed into glass-blown creations. Sometimes you couldn’t figure out what sort of thing it was. Today we have gift cards, pad paper, scented candles, incense sticks, paperweights and a lot of other stuff you can use. Or guests can just take the fresh flowers from the table. Once in a while there is a CD compilation of the couple’s favorite songs. I don’t know if those CDs will ever appear again, what with the ongoing anti-piracy campaign. Imagine a raid a wedding reception.

After all is said and done, one thing hasn’t changed – while no one looks forward to being a principal sponsor because of the huge budget involved, everyone is dying to have their kid be a flower girl or ringbearer. Even if their child is already 11 years old!