The difference

Chanticler, Chaucer’s character, remarked, "Mulier est hominis confusion." Woman is man’s confusion. Yet, when asked by his wife what it meant, he mistranslated it for her benefit, declaring, "Madam, the meaning is this: Woman is man’s delight and all his bliss." Whether this muddled-up explanation is the cause of any delight may be answered in the affirmative by us women but there are men who may really find women baffling. In fact, in a recent Mel Gibson movie, What Women Want, there was an attempt to show the mystery behind a woman as it underscored the difference between the two genders. Unfortunately, a two-hour movie couldn’t possibly have done enough.

To understand the inherent dfferences between genders, let me quote William Walden who captured the difference between man and woman in his poem entitled "The Difference."

A woman has a figure, a man has a physique
A father roars in rage, a mother shrieks in pique
Broad-shouldered athletes throw what
dainty damsels toss
And female bosses supervise – male bosses boss.
Lads gulp, maids sip;
Jacks plunge, Jills dip;
Guys bark, dames snap;
Boys punch, girls slap;
Gobs swab, waves mop;
Brave buy, squaws shop.
A gentleman perspires, a lady merely glows;
A husband is suspicious, a wife however knows.

The differences that Walden detailed are universal, rising above ethnicity, class, religious beliefs, social background, political principles and educational attainment. They are differences manifested by both genders before our time and continue to be exhibited to this day. And yet, these gender differences have been so underlined that they have given the women unwarranted titles like "second gender" or "weaker sex."

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The distinction between man and woman is as old as human existence. It is as clear as daylight. Time was when Sigmund Freud insisted that anatomy determined the genesis of femininity and masculinity. Freud pontificated: "Anatomy is destiny." But in fact, many modern-day scientists "fear" anything that may lead to unfair typecasting.

And typecasted we have been. For example, many assume that beauty contests are merely battles of beauty, height, poise and grace. This unfair belief is an insult to the many beautiful women crowned queens in our country. Beauty competitions are battlefields for wit and intelligence. The recent Ms. Red Cross competition can attest to this. The contestants were not only a bunch of beautiful women parading before us. There was no doubt that the male judges found all 39 women intelligent causing great difficulty in deciding who would win the crown.

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The crisis the female gender is faced with or was once confronted with, depending on how assertive a female is, was the competition arising from the favored male. The trouble started at the crib. The arrival of a baby boy is celebrated with cigars while that of a baby girl is greeted with a resigned, "We’ll try again," hoping that the next child will be a boy. To this day, girls are referred to, jokingly in the vernacular, as pangbayad utang (a means to pay a debt).

There are many documented differences in the manner that boys and girls are dealt with from birth onward. One is the process of prescribed roles that begin immediately after birth. The idea of proper behavior for girls and boys is built according to expected emotions and expectations of his parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, extended family teachers, friends, etc., etc., etc.! Girls play with dolls as boys engage their friends in boxing. The male and female later create their personalities depending on their environments. Yes, the functional differentiation between man and woman is not determined only by the "fact of physical nature" and I’m learning all these from China’s notes in Psychology.

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The debate on the equality of man and woman has caused much controversy. A majority of the feminists – Elizabeth Borgese, Simone de Beauvoir, Margaret Mead, Betty Friedan – concluded that the female differed from the male only in her child-bearing capacity. Therefore, she should be given the same occupation, education, social rights and obligations as the males. Unfortunately to this day, some cultures still have no place for a woman beside the man except to be his chattel as femininity is identified with maternity, making some other women assert that man need not be the only breadwinner or the head of the home, nor the women the sole affection givers. The proverbial ilaw ng tahanan wants more.

I think the most important social progress of modern times is the uprising of women against male domination. We women maintain that there are areas where, when a woman is trained, she turns out to be as excellent as the man. In the performing arts, a Maria Callas is worth a Caruso. In pop music, a Lani Misalucha is worth a Martin Nievera. In the creative arts, there may be Goethe and Dante and Flavio Zaragoza but among women there are the Jane Austins and Virginia Wolfs and Magdalena Jalandonis. We have fearlessly penetrated lines for work previously known to be the man’s domain. In combat or protracted conflicts, women grew stronger like Gabriela Silang or Generala Aguida Kahabagan; the longer the combat lasted, the more resolute they became.

A chosen few have won the much-coveted Nobel prizes in Peace, Literature, Physiology/Medicine, Chemistry and Physics. We have sent women out to space, even commanding the space shuttle mission. There is a Hemingway quote that says, "brave bulls come from brave cows." Sorry, girls, for the comparison. I’m only quoting Hemingway. I don’t want Gabriela rallying against me. I say this believing that no woman can carry a child in her womb and withstand the torture of childhood.

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I think a woman can do anything a man can. But then again, a woman is writing this article.

Despite the vast and proven capabilities of women, there is still that reluctance to "let them in." Women are not at all confusing. They seek the same things men do – love, respect, honesty and the freedom to express themselves.