Dare To Be Better

DARE, which stands for Drug Abuse Research Foundation, challenged their very young patients eager to be rehabilitated through a survival course in Silang, Cavite. For two days, they climbed over hills, jogged, crawled under barbed wire with heavy knapsacks. On the second day, they went through the same hazard course blindfolded to gain self-control and test their ability to rebuild their self-worth and confidence. Having graduated from their first obstacle, their parents and guardians, all the way from Surigao to the Visayas, left their children behind to continue their rehab program whhich will last way after the Christmas season. Meaning, this December there will be no suman, no puto-bumbong, no old Christmas traditions at DARE, while they continue their "cleansing" after that feat.

Even at DARE, Christmas is filled with magic. The patients believe that generous and loving parents will take them back after they wash away the shabu from their system, which is their wish for Christmas day. And because people’s hearts are filled with affection for them and are willing to share and forgive, their rehab encourages them to "resist" and like themselves again.

Oh, they do miss the Christmas season’s customs like walking through carnival grounds buying bibingka and some attending Misa de Gallo. But their spirits are warmed by the few twinkling lanterns they see to guide the Magi to His holy crib. No kumbacheros there who shout their songs to outdo their tansans, drums, tambourines and marakas. Well, neither do we see nor hear them "outside" nowadays. Better too that bamboo cannons no longer wake folks from their sleep. Otherwise, barrio folks might think they’re under siege.

* * *

One of the former drug dependents at DARE told me: "I may be far away from my true family, I know, we may never be ‘complete’ again. And though I may not be with them again this Christmas, I am happy and fulfilled. My departed father and brother, my terminally-ill mother and my remaining brothers and sisters, are all one in spirit because they are proud of me again... because I have stood up once again."

He was a typical grown-up kid with great ambitions. Because of ambitions, he went against his parents’ wishes, quit his third-year architectural course in Cebu and searched for his destiny in Manila. The decision paid off at the start. He was discovered by Pitoy Moreno, went on to become one of Manila’s top male ramp models and landed dozens and dozens of commercial endorsements, hosted various and beauty and fashion competitions, became a disc jockey in an FM station. The list can just go on.

Let’s hear it from him: "With the world aware of my existence, TV and movie exposures came my way. Yes, you may say I achieved a certain degree of popularity. It was fun and financially rewarding. I was popular, earned good money, traveled and to top it all, my family was proud of me. But then again, as all successes come, they come with prices to pay. Because of the sheer fatigue of trying to accomplish so many things in such little time, and out of curiosity, shabu reared its ugly head and came into the picture taking over my life. Now it had the lead role.

* * *

Without noticing it, it turned my enviable achievements around. Completely and every moment from then on, I was dedicated only into getting my next fix. It was the center of my life. I lost all my interest to work, lost all my jobs, my money, my friends...unless I had some drugs to share with them for my misguided self-respect.

"Gone was the man people would be proud to be associated with. Here was the man they loathed and laughed at. I was homeless, penniless, hopeless. I drifted from one place to the other, not knowing where I would get shelter nor when the next meal would come. I borrowed money, lied so I could buy more drugs. I fooled people, sold things not belonging to me, shoplifted, the ‘whole’ works until I realized that I was even spending money intended for my sick mother’s medication. That woke me up and I made the biggest decision in my 16 years of drug life. I needed to go to DARE and accept that I couldn’t win against drugs. I had now lost and lost all element of time. I even missed my partner’s cremation because I was out getting high. During my pre-drug years, Christmas was one of the happiest moments I would look forward to. It meant a joyful reunion of my whole family together.

* * *

Idesired this passionate relationship with shabu, I can‘t even remember when my family got together ever again. I was never around anymore. It was because I never even bothered to go home because I preferred to be with my other junky friends just getting high. Whenever I would visit our home, no one would be there anymore to greet me a Merry Christmas. Just the gifts with my name, which was the real reason why I went home. To check out what I had gotten that I could sell or swap and to manipulate my old mother to give me more money and then disappear. It never bothered me. I didn’t care. As long as I got what I wanted I didn’t care about the rest of the world. I didn’t care for those who truly loved and cared for me or worried about me. I just wanted a little quality time with them at Christmas! Yet I never saw them nor felt their tears or pains. I only saw myself and I was in hell!

"But God is merciful. I entered DARE in 2000, first as a patient and then as a member of the staff, I am approaching my second drug-free Christmas. This has been a revelation for me. With rehabilitation comes another chance for a new life this Christmas.

"I’ve learned, as each day passes, all the wrong things I’ve done and vow never to do them again. I’ve learned that the evil of drugs chooses no age, race, religion, nor social standing, nor fame. I’ve learned humility and acceptance, and now I can live with myself.

"I wish I could turn back time and savor those very precious moments with my family, when we were complete and intact. My father and eldest brother have passed away, my mother is still terminally ill and my other brothers and sisters live in different countries now.

"I have a new family to share my Christmas with for the past two years. My family is in DARE where I have chosen to stay on to continue learning and sharing what I have learned. I see a little of me in every single member of the family. I know they see a little of themselves in me rehabilitated.

* * *

I’m so glad I’m part of DARE through my uncle Dr. Theodore de los Reyes Abas who heads it and is also head of the Psychiatry Department of St. Luke’s Hospital. We all work together – my cousins Dr. Minguita Padilla and Atty. Ed Lizares of the de los Reyes line two – with the patients at DARE helping our Uncle Ted and the other board of directors: chairman Simplicio Roxas, treasurer Aloysius Lipio, secretary Josefina Buenaseda and board members Adrian Cristobal, Anselmo Trinidad, Carlos Syquia and Fr. Constantino Dannug."