Sibling rivalry or revelry?

Sibling rivalry happens only if you allow it.

In this dog-eat-dog world, you shouldn’t obsesss with having it all to the extent of competing with your own brother or sister. No amount of success will make you feel whole and happy for long if it means hurting someone very dear to you. In the end, family is top priority.

In our family, we are blessed that our eldest sister Lupe possesses admirable qualities and has set a good example for all of us. She celebrates our successes. She is there when we need a shoulder to cry on. She listens to us with an open heart and mind.

She has taught us the importance of communication, the value of respect and how to accept comments – favorable or not – with a smile.

After all, when fame, wealth and glory fade away, together with our so-called friends, who else can we count on but family?

Former Executive Secretary Oscar Orbos: There is no room for sibling rivalry because I am the eldest and Jerry defers to me. (laughs). He is a priest so I kiss his hand, but being the eldest, he also kisses my hand. The kind of rivalry we have is that we both do our best to excel. I would like to think that I inspire my brother. In my case, I know I can depend on Jerry who is stronger than me. It’s a rivalry that brings out the best for everyone.

Did you know my brother entered the seminary because of me? I was the first to enter the seminary. Idol niya ako, so he followed. When I left the seminary, I said, you stay. In effect he continued where I had left off because I had to do other things. God chooses what’s best for us. As the saying goes, "Many are called but few are chosen." We were both called but my brother was chosen. I always say I look younger than him dahil nakakalbo na siya. He’s younger than me, but you know, priests have more problems.

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FR. Jerry M. Orbos, SVD: There is no sibling rivalry as far as I can tell. My Manong Oscar is the eldest of three boys and two girls. I’m the middle child. My parents made it clear that we should obey and respect our elders, so that was that. There were minor rivalries but in general, our parents’ words and guidance prevailed.

Joyce Oreña-Stalder, fashion model and STAR columnist: We never had sibling rivalry. Although my siblings hated me since I was such a spoiled brat. I wanted to get my way all the time!

We had more of a "sibling revelry." We are proud of each other’s achievements. We had different interests growing up. I don’t mean to reveal Ces’ age but I was still playing with dolls when her suitors would come to make akyat ng ligaw at home. Now that we have built our respective careers, we have become closer. We both love food – we are chichiria freaks; fashion – we were slaves of fashion at a young age, and enjoy going out with friends and chatting over a bottle of wine.

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Ces Oreña-Drilon, TV host: Sibling rivalry? No such thing. After all, we are almost 10 years apart in age, so there was really no competition. Joyce, being the youngest in the family, was such a brat! She insisted on getting what she wanted and somehow we were always there to find a way to give it to her. I remember helping her out with a cross stitch project in school till I was doing cross stitch in my dreams. We were raised by our parents to be competitive, not with our siblings but with our peers.

Joyce is such a perfectionist! She was just in grade school when the family knew she would one day become a model. In a way, she fulfilled some of my frustrations – I was not tall and slim enough to model. I say this not with envy but with sisterly pride. When she grew older, we became closer. She is now my worst critic! But who else can tell you really bad things, if not your own sister? Now that she writes a column, we complement each other. We think together, rather than compete, we compare notes, give tips, advice, etc. We take pride in each other’s successes and we are there to give each other a sisterly shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough. Of course, she is always around for that much-dreaded fashion emergency!

Carlo Muñoz, commercial model and actor: We had sibling rivalry when we were still small. Siempre natural lang yon. But when we grew up, nawala na. Mas naging supportive kami with each other, especially when we entered showbiz. Usually ang nag-create ng rivalry ay chismis. We make it a point to consult each other.

Leandro Muñoz, actor: Ako kasi wala. Siguro si Carlos. Siguro maliit lang. Kasi pag nagkakaiinitan ng ulo, nagkakasakitan, nag-boboxing-boxing kami pagkatapos pag nagkita kami bati na, wala ng sorry. I’m very close to my brother, we’re best friends.

Surigao del Norte Governor Lyndon Barbers: Before the three of us got involved in politics, we had some sibling rivalries but minor ones. Petty things like why my parents gave Ace and Dean something they’ve always wanted, and they gave me something I never wanted. But we never really had any major rivalries.

Now that we are older and more mature, we are more open and willing to help each other. We discuss things, be it personal, professional or otherwise. We are actually closer to each other.

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2nd District, Surigao del Norte Congressman Ace Barbers: I can safely say that we have not had differences when it comes to discharging our duties and responsibilities as public servants. Kung meron man, siguro negligible.

Our father instilled in us the values of honesty, sincerity and public service. My younger brother Dean, for instance, never wavered in his role as the most vocal opposition councilor in Makati. Our eldest Lyndon, who is now Governor of Surigao, is overhauling the image of the provincial government of Surigao. I, too, never wavered in my role as an opposition congressman even if it meant enduring sufferings and sacrifices.

Now that I am with the administration, I see to it that I attend to all my responsibilities judiciously and I make sure that my principles are not compromised.

As to sibling rivalry, we never had any, as far as I can remember. On the contrary, we always check on each other so we can help kung saan kailangan. Lastly, I can honestly say that all these years, sonce in a while, we are still a happy family.

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Dean Barbers, former Makati Councilor: Ours is a close-knit family. We do not have sibling rivalries, if there are, they are usually petty. We were all brought up to be God-fearing, and to love our country and fellowmen. This is why we entered public service. We also have almost the same priorities and principles in life.

Eric Quizon, producer/actor: One difference between me and Jeffrey is I graduated from Ateneo and he graduated from La Salle. We have our own eccentricities: I’m more secretive, he’s more outgoing. We’re both creative although we have different ideas: He’s more experimental, I’m more conventional.

Sibling rivalry? I’ve always been a big brother to him. We never really had any fights. Jeffrey has always shown me respect and vice-versa. When he has problems I’m there for him. We’re constantly in touch. We’re always bonding like when we went to Toronto – we were together for two weeks. We also go out for drinks and talk like brothers who share the same vision for our families.

Jeffrey Quizon, actor: There was never any rivalry, because Eric is my older brother and mentor. We’re always supportive of each other. We share the same interests, although we’re different in some ways. Eric is more systematic in his life and work. I’m more crazy, I do things out of the norm. But we never lose respect for each other. I am his younger brother yet Eric listens to me. This is the best way to avoid sibling rivalry – respect each other.