Ninoy’s Last Words: ‘Though God slay me, I will trust Him’

It was a nippy day in May, 1981 in the Aquino household in Boston. Cory was in the kitchen watching pro-football with some Filipino doctors who were among their closest friends. Kris was frying a hamburger by the stove. Ninoy had decided to walk what looked like a German shepherd by the backyard, uncollaring him so he could romp off by himself among the trees. It was a homey scene – genteel, quiet, and safe – set in the rustic environs of Harvard University where Ninoy was lecturing as a fellow. Cory had called their life there "Camelot."

Except that by those trees, far from electronic bugs, Ninoy was in a huddle with former Agence France Press bureau chief Teddy Benigno. And their conversation was portent of a ripping bullet, and blood splattered on a tarmac.

Ninoy confided that he was finding a way to return to the Philippines. He also shared that several nights before, Cory didn’t let him sleep. She had pleaded with him to change his mind about going back.

"I’d never seen her cry like that before," Ninoy sighed. "She had sobbed uncontrollably through much of the night. But what can I do, Teddy? Seven years (in prison) is seven years. Will I just let it go down the drain?" He left the question hanging in the air, as if waiting for rebuke or affirmation. It was met with more silent queries, apprehensions we didn’t voice.

Ninoy’s plan seemed naïve and idealistic. He wanted to go home, seek an audience with then President Ferdinand Marcos, convince him that he had to loose the stranglehold of his dictatorship or see the country go over the brink of disaster. If he was thrown in prison or, God forbid, assassinated … well, he would take his chances. He somehow sensed breakthrough was possible, imminent.

What we didn’t know then was that the breakthrough had already happened. It had begun in Ninoy’s heart and spirit. And it would impact the nation in the amazing improbable way that martyrs’ deaths do. It was the incredible paradox of abounding life springing forth from death.

The very next month, Ninoy guested on The 700 Club, a Christian TV program in Washington, Virginia. There, he revealed the birthplace of his resolve, the reason why he could not be moved from what would become his touchdown to his destiny at the Manila International Airport on August 21, 1983.

He related to host Pat Robertson that he had suffered a crisis of faith during seven years of solitary confinement in Laur. That had brought him to his breaking point, when he finally died to himself – to pride, ambition, personal agendas, even his limited, self-serving definitions of God. And he was enabled to rise again, unencumbered, truly free, truly useful for turning the tides of history minus the man-made devices of political maneuvering, arms and bloodshed.

He shared that he had very little in his cell, but some of what he had there opened the window to a vast, eternal Kingdom governed by different laws. He had an assortment of books, including a Bible, journals of faith by Christian authors like Thomas A Kempis’ Imitation of Christ, and significantly, former Nixon aide Charles Colson’s Born Again. Plus, he had a little TV set.

Ninoy told Robertson that every afternoon at 3, he would watch The 700 Club and its portraits of people miraculously changed by Jesus Christ.

"That kept me company in my solitary cell. Everytime you had a testimony, I had an affiliation with it," Ninoy told Pat. That led him to examine the foundations and motives of his religious faith.

"I’m a Catholic, born a Catholic, 85 percent of the people in the Philippines are Christians. But we never really read the Bible as Catholics, I don’t know why. Also, as a young man, I had no time for God. I was busy with politics, I was moving on. I thought I was self-contained. On my own steam, I could make it. I only went to God when I needed help. Like when the votes were (being tallied) I would pray ‘Dear Lord, help me!’ Then when the votes were in, I forgot the Lord," Ninoy said.

"But when I was put in solitary confinement, with nobody to talk to, I became desperate. I started to question the fundamentals of my faith. Is there really a God? I began to doubt that. If there is a God, why should I be here? What have I done? And why are the crooks all out there?" he related. "And then the second question. Was there a God when the children were being gassed in Auschwitz, Buchenwald, Dachau? Where was He? Where was this God? That was the doubt that assailed my mind."

Ninoy related that in the desperation and loneliness of his search, God’s answers came. The first was the paradox of power in a Christian’s unmerited suffering. Ninoy found the answer in the life of Paul as mentioned in the Bible.

"As St. Paul put it, when I was weakest, I was strongest. When I was down on the floor, in solitary confinement, (that was) when He (God) came to me, then I felt strongest. Therefore I have survived all my vicissitudes because I know there is a God," said Ninoy.

Ninoy’s second step into that other hidden realm of power and breakthrough was inspired by another renowned politician-turned-prisoner, as driven as Ninoy in his time. He was former US President Richard Nixon’s "hatchet man" and Special Counsel Charles "Chuck" Colson, Ninoy’s look-alike.

In his book Born Again, Colson described how his implication in illegal wiretapping charges that eventually impeached Nixon broke him and brought him down on his knees before God. He decided to plead guilty and was sentenced to one to three years in prison.

"That was the book that really encouraged me to go into deeper thinking," Ninoy shared. "(But at first, when) I saw this book I said, ‘Oh, this guy’s just a phoney!’ He was a Nixon man and he wants to use this to win the good graces of the people. Then I saw him on The 700 Club so I started reading. One of the things he wrote was if you sit down and take a yellow paper and write your blessings as against your heartaches and frustrations, you will know that you’re always ahead. Suffering can break you or make you. I learned to welcome it as an opportunity. For instance, we take for granted our family, our children. In prison, my children would visit me one afternoon a week. And when they left, I was heartbroken. But it’s then that I realized the value of my children."

Even in exile in the United States, the answers came. Both Ninoy and Colson were destined to share their new personal relationship with Christ.

"One day, as I was flying from Boston to Washington, here was this man sitting beside me on the plane and I looked over and said, ‘Excuse me, are you Mister Colson?’ He said, ‘Yes, how did you know?’ I said, ‘I saw you in The 700 Club and I read your book. Your book helped me.’ We started talking and it was this man who showed me the Way," Ninoy pointed out.

After sharing their mustard seeds of faith, Colson recalled asking Ninoy if going back to Manila was a good idea. And Ninoy said that if he went back and rallied the opposition, well and good, but if he got killed, he would be with Jesus. So how could he lose?

On August 21, 1983, Ninoy fell to the ground and died and unexpectedly changed the course of the country’s history. Colson started Prison Fellowship Ministry, which is now the largest Christian civic outreach to prisoners and ex-prisoners all over the world.

After Ninoy was shot on the MIA tarmac, Pat Robertson recalled: "I was frankly shocked … None of us thought he would become the hero of the Philippines. The last words he said (during our interview) were ‘Though He (God) slay me, I will trust Him.’ God can use suffering and the death of someone for magnificent purposes that don’t seem clear to us until after they are fulfilled."

Ninoy also shared this with Colson and during his interview on The 700 Club: "I have a confession to make. God gave me a gift, an ability to articulate that brought me to the pinnacle of political power. I promised Him in prison that when I regain my freedom, I’d like to use this gift to witness for Him. And look, I’m here, Pat."

Ninoy is still witnessing about the Power of One. That one mustard seed of faith, dying to self and giving all to the people and nation by the might of the One Savior, can turn the tides of destiny.

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(Pat Robertson’s interview with Ninoy Aquino on The 700 Club is a special feature of "The 700 Club: The First 25 Years," a retrospective of the highlights of a quarter-century of telecasts of the longest-running Christian program on Philippine television. The show airs weekly. The Ninoy episode telecasts this Wednesday, Aug. 22, at midnight, with a replay on Sunday, 7:30 a.m. on GMA 7. Excerpts of the retrospective are also aired on "Kol Adonai" radio, broadcasted in the Middle East daily 8-11 p.m. on 15.750 MegaHertz on shortwave, in Israel 8-11 p.m. on 13.840 Hertz, and twice daily in the US and Canada on Sky Angel radio Channel 9772.)