Lessons I learned from ‘Forrest Gump’

Last night, I was watching one of those "exposé" shows – you know, the type with hosts who try to outdo one another by challenging each other as to who has the lower baritone voice and who shout at us at the top of their voices as if we can’t hear them. "At ito po inyong lingkod, si Mike Langit po, ang inyong naging ‘KAAKBAY SA SAKSIHAAAAAN!" Sheeesh!

You know it still amazes me why we have to deliver news that way. Maybe it’s because we Pinoys have short attention spans – or maybe we don’t listen very well, so much so that we have created a syndrome and we need to shout to get the message through. You know, the old "ilang-beses-ko-ba-sasabihin-sa-iyo-na-ganito-ganiyan-blah-blah-blah" syndrome.

Anyway, guess what? That’s not my topic for today. My topic is about movies. The exposé last night dealt with a raid of a dirty and run-down movie house somewhere in Manila. It was a movie house regularly showing "for adults, semi-porn" (and sometimes porn) movies. But that wasn’t the issue. The issue was this movie house was like some sort of cheap motel. It was a place where gays converged and did all sorts of "jobs" (you know what those "jobs" are!) to male patrons who needed a quick release for their "prurient/bodily desires." Even if the images was "blurred up" through pixelized graphics, the scene was, to say the least, absolutely disgusting.

It was Sodom and Gomorrah, movie house version! The seats were filthy and sticky and the place stank like anything (according to the report). Cockroaches were all over the place. And then they showed the raid (through the infrared vision of the camera). It was really pathetic and depressing.

I think there was an arrest order issued for the movie house owners. But you know what? I personally think that it shouldn’t just be the movie house owners or the patrons who should be arrested. I think the producers of the movies being shown in the theater are also to blame. You know it’s a whole bad cycle. Garbage in, garbage out. If movie producers continue producing cheap garbage, the result will be the same – cheap garbage. What you bring into the minds of people, that’s the very same thing that will come out – especially from young minds. And I won’t be a hypocrite here. I am human too, I get affected by sexy pictures. Sleezy posters grab my attention. Sex is an attractive thing and even the guy with the best self-control gets attracted to it! That’s the tragic thing in this situation – we’ve got seminarians, priests, feeble minds, and people simply trying to be good and decent who get exposed to the caratulas and previews of these movies and I’m sure it has an effect. That’s certainly a cause for alarm.

Now, lest the "free expression" advocates think I am for outright censorship or anything that stops free expression, I am not – that’s unconstitutional. I just think we can do a better job at expressing ourselves more responsibly because our "expression" can step on other people’s right not to be offended. If someone took a piss on the salad bar at Wendy’s in the guise of free expression, wouldn’t you feel offended? The principle here is the same.

Anyway, why can’t we come up with movies with great storylines and plots anymore? Does it all have to be about sex and violence? Is that what we’re all about? And the titles! Man! Kakainin Mo ang Bala Ko, Dudurugin Kita, Papatayin Kita Pati sa Hukay Mo (or something to that effect). Then, the bold movies – Talong, Init ng Laman, Masarap, Masakit, Painom ng Gatas Mo (or something like that!). The worst part of this all is that when the producers guest in talk shows, they try to pass them off as movies with a good story and – believe it or not – socially redeeming value. "Magandang pelikula itong Phone Sex, may lesson na matututunan ang mga bata dito." Yeah, right.

Here I go again – I don’t mean to praise the US because their society is far from perfect. They have sex and violence in their movies too – lots of both actually. But what I appreciate with their movie industry is that the titles don’t try to deceive. If you have a movie called Basic Instinct, for example, you know it’s a movie with a sexual topic so be forewarned. They won’t try to pass it off as a movie with socially redeeming value.

Still, they do come up with fascinatingly great storylines, make a blockbuster movie out of them, and guess what – they have nothing to do with sex or violence. Prime examples: Forrest Gump, Erin Brokovich, The Truman Show, On Golden Pond – these were great movies with real lessons in life, were not packed with violence or sex and guess what – they made money! I don’t know.

Look at Jose Rizal, Muro Ami and Mila. Great movies and good storylines. I commend the producers of these movies. We can really do it – if we really wanted to. But no – most of us want the shortcut to success and a quick buck. That’s not how it supposed to be.

Speaking of Forrest Gump, don’t you think that that was one heck of a movie? Of all of Tom Hanks’ movies, this is my favorite. Forrest Gump had such valuable lessons to impart. Lessons in life. And guess what? Even lessons in business.

Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get." Before discussing this interesting analogy, I think I should give a short summary of what Forrest Gump is all about (for benefit of all those poor souls who didn’t get to watch it). Forrest Gump is about a "mentally challenged" individual and how he gets through with life. It starts with the story of young Forrest, who was slightly behind in mental development (in Tagalog, mahina ang utak) and who was also incapable of walking normally because of a slight deformity in his legs. It shows how he had to go through countless insults and adversity, how he got bullied and maltreated and how fate seemed to smile at him despite all of these misfortunes.

It shows this "simple minded, yet pure of heart" individual who could make a positive difference not only with his family, his community, his country, but also the world. It shows how this seemingly retarded person stood up against all odds by simply being himself and how he unwittingly (without him trying too hard) inspired popular people like Elvis Presley, Richard Nixon and John Lennon and how his achievements even brought him to the White House to be congratulated by no less than Presidents Kennedy and Johnson. Somehow, by some lucky, and sometimes bizarre twist of fate, he always found himself at the right place, at the right time and it seemed that he was destined to be great and rich, even if he didn’t really try and even if he really didn’t want to.

One of the valuable lessons that his mom taught him was this quote: "Life is like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you’re gonna get." His mom (played magnificently by Sally Field), always had a way with words – words that would make Forrest feel good and comforted in times of tribulation and hurt. She always encouraged him in everything he did, despite his obvious limitations. And as far as Forrest’s life was concerned, he always got the "best chocolate" from the box. When he was young, kids used to make fun of him and throw rocks at him. As a natural reaction, he would try to run away from all his enemies. And since all he did was run, run, and run, he got very good at it. One time, when he was already in high school, he was chased again, and he "ran like the wind." He accidentally ran into a football field where college football players where practicing and outran the fastest player in the field. And so, he got himself a high school and college athletic scholarship and went on to lead his school to championships.

After college, when he didn’t know what to do, he was approached by a recruiting officer from the army. A few years later, the Vietnam War broke out and he was deployed in the deep jungles of Vietnam. There, they were ambushed by the enemy and miraculously, he was one of the few in his group that was not seriously injured. When he saw his fellow soldiers terribly wounded, he literally carried his entire battalion to safety, one by one. His Congressional Medal of Honor was given by no less than President Lyndon B. Johnson (through computer generation, they were able to make Tom Hanks and President Johnson shake hands. He (Forrest) even showed the President the gunshot wound on his butt! And because he had made a promise to his army friend Bubba that he would help him build a shrimping business, he bought a second-hand fishing boat and somehow, by fate, made it big in the shrimping business.

If you notice, the successes that Forrest achieved seemed to just come to him automatically. He never planned things. He didn’t have the intellectual capacity to do so – and yet, somehow, he became successful in whatever he did. Even when it seemed like he got a bad chocolate, eventually it turned out to be good.

Sometimes in life we plan too hard and too detailed, to the point that we allow our plans to control us. Oftentimes, we plan such with so much certainty that we say, "In five years I will be President of this company," or "In six months, I will put up a restaurant and it will be the biggest hit in town!?" While indeed, we must have a plan so we can be guided as to what we shall do, sometimes too much planning limits or restricts us. And yes, it sometimes makes us arrogant. In my daily planner, I always have a slot for "flexitime," meaning a slot I leave out free just in case something interesting happens. It’s always good not to fill up your day too much because you never really know what might come up. And if something exciting does come up, you would certainly want to have flexibility to accommodate a pleasant surprise.

In long term planning, sometimes, we say "By 25, I want to be this, and by 30, I want to be this, and by 45, I should be a billionaire." Like I said, it’s good to have life goals and plans to give a little order in our lives. But if you become too detailed and too fixated with your plans, and if you are controlled by your plans so much so that you go berserk if things don’t go as planned, sooner or later, you’ll have your life too programmed that you condition yourself to be only just what you planned, even if in reality, you don’t have total control of it. You will no longer be open to anything. And that’s tragic. Being open to anything is what makes life exciting. Sure, we may want something now. But people change. Situations change.

Do you think Christopher Reeve planned to be what he is today? I think not. But despite his accident, look at him now – he is doing a great job being an ambassador for those who are paralyzed and a champion in the search for a cure. Look at Michael J. Fox. I don’t think he planned to have Parkinson’s disease at such a young age. Because of this sudden twist of fate, he had to adjust. He quit his show. But hey, he didn’t just mope and say, "I hate the world, I have been stripped off everything I’ve got." No. He put up a foundation which is now campaigning hard for more funding in the search for a cure.

My good friend from modeling a few years ago, Jerry Gonzalo, had a great modeling career ahead of him, and maybe even a showbiz career. He was the best looking male model during our days (and he still is). But because of some twist of fate, he had an accident that caused him to be blind. Though he may not have continued his modeling career, he persevered and continued on with his life. He picked up the pieces, he got married to a wonderful, beautiful lady who saw beyond his disability, and he now has several kids with her and he is currently the sales manager for a well-known restaurant chain. And, though he may not know it, he is an inspiration to all of us former models, which he didn’t plan either.

As for me, at three years old, I wanted to be a pilot. At eight, I wanted to be a priest. At 12, I wanted to be an actor. At 15, I wanted to be a band member. At 20, I just wanted to be a college graduate. And at 21, I wanted to become a lawyer. And now, what am I? I am a partner in a media business that publishes a golf and teen magazine, I co-produce an extreme sports TV show, Planet X, I’m a newspaper columnist and a newscaster, and, in a few weeks time, I will become the director for marketing and communication of MTV and a partner in a new café /restaurant along Pearl Drive, Box Café.

In the course of my career, I tried to grab as much chocolates – and tried to find out what I really wanted. I discovered that I was not only interested in law, but also in sales and marketing. And now I am what I am and I’m very happy! Now, if I had fixated myself to just one thing, I don’t think I would have achieved this kind of self-fulfillment.

So, always, remember – be it in career or in your personal life, life is a box of chocolates – just take and take all you want – and taste all you can. Life is an adventure. Life has so many pleasant surprises. Take risks. The thrill is in the trying, the picking of a chocolate and tasting it.

Run, Forrest, run!

As a kid, Forrest had to endure a lot of insults and physical pain. Oftentimes, kids would throw rocks at him, just for kicks. Whenever that happened, his best friend/girl friend Jenny would tell him, "Run, Forrest, run!? And he would.

In business, sometimes in order to get ahead, you need to know when to run away from certain situations. In business, you meet a lot of shady characters who claim that they would like to do business with you and sometimes you find yourself tempted to say "yes" because their offer is too good. You know these guys – these are the guys taking you to drinking places and sometimes, sleezy joints, offering you "get rich quick solutions," offering products or services that are questionable, and who say, "Quiet ka lang, pero malaki ang potential nito, pare. Malaki ang kickback sa racket na ito. Pero quiet ka lang. Wala kang talo dito, pero we need P250,000 lang from you and in one week, instant million. Walang kahirap-hirap."

In cases like these, before you say yes, ask: What is it all about? Is it legal? Who is backing up the business? What is the tax implication of the business? And then ask around. If you hear something bad, be warned. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. In this case, my advice to you is "Run, Forrest, run!" Don’t say "yes" because you’re nahihiya to reject them, or that you don’t want to be called mahina ang loob. If you’re going to branded a coward, that’s fine. Better that than be entangled in a bad situation. When I was in law school, I was invited to join a now infamous fraternity in Ateneo Law School. They promised me everything, brotherhood, notes, slaves that would help me in school, and connections in the legal world. I said "yes" initially. Until I was warned that I was going to be "the main target" in the initiation. So, when the frat guys came to me, I said, "Pass ako, pare," then I ran away. They tried to chase me but I ran away like Forrest. The next week, everyone from that frat was snubbing me. I felt dejected. They were really friendly when they were inviting me. Soon after, a law freshman got killed in their initiation. That could have been me. If I hadn’t run, I could be six feet underground now.

My motto now is "I’d rather run like a chicken than be a dead duck."

I just want to run

One last point about Forrest – his focus. Forrest may have been semi-retarded. But one thing he had was focus. Some "mentally challenged" people have the tendency to have their attention all wrapped up in one thing. If they see a box or a toy, they play with it like it was the only thing existing in the world. And no matter how much we shout at them, their eyes are focused on that one object. Forrest was like that. Whenever he got into something, he was so focused that nothing could stop him. When he got into the army, he became the best in his battalion because he was focused on doing what he was told to do – whether it was cleaning bathrooms, assembling rifles or cleaning his bed, he was so focused that he did a mighty good job in every task. When he was stuck in the hospital with nothing to do, he started playing pingpong. And he played, and played, and played, until he got so good at it, he became a world champion.

That’s how we should be with our daily tasks at work. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by the things that we have to do. But really, getting overwhelmed gets us nowhere. You really just have to list down what you need to do, prioritize, and then do one thing at a time. You don’t really have a choice. You can only do one thing at a time anyway. So if you need to make a financial projection tomorrow but need to submit a memo on your tax plan for the company the next day, don’t be overwhelmed. Just concentrate on the financial projection first and focus on that without thinking about the tax memo. It will have its own time. It’s like what the good book says – Don’t worry about tomorrow, today has worries of its own. Focus on one day at a time. You can’t change the world in a day. But if all of us focus on changing just one person – ourselves – for the better, sooner or later, we’ll have a better world.