Menopause: A transition

I remember having a conversation with Dr. Constantino “Tito” Manahan more than 30 years ago. He said he thought that if a woman had surgical menopause, like a hysterectomy at age 35, for example, she could avoid the typical symptoms of menopause when she reached her late 40s to early 50s.

I was in my late 20s then and I don’t know why we were talking about menopause because I was there for a pre-natal checkup. However, that conversation stuck and around 10 years later when another male gynecologist told me I had to be operated on immediately because I had ovarian cancer, I remembered it and agreed instantly. So I had surgical menopause but felt none of the symptoms. No hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings. I just stopped getting the monthlies and I was very happy about that. I thought I beat the menopausal blues.

Another 10 years pass. I am 49. Suddenly, without any female organs left I get occasional hot flashes, constant night sweats and uncontrollable crying jags. What are hot flashes? You’re enjoying a meal when suddenly you feel a rush of extreme heat and you break out in a heavy sweat, beads trickling down the side of your face. You get a hanky and try to wipe them off frantically then you feel something of a chill. This happens quickly. That’s why it’s called a flash. Then you’re all right again, normal again.

I did not get too many hot flashes but almost every night I had night sweats. You’re reading in bed until you’re very sleepy. Then you turn off the light but you cannot sleep. You feel hot, sweaty, restless. I reminded myself of our dog who would turn around and around in circles trying to find the right position for sleep. Your pillows, your bedsheets are all a mess by the time you fall asleep mostly from exhaustion. I hated my night sweats.

Then there were the crying jags that I could not explain. Someone would tell me something I did not like and instead of disagreeing my tears would fall. I would cry hard, be unable to speak, and I could not stop. The worst time it happened was when my clients came to tell me our agency had no multinational partner so they would pull out their account. My tears fell and I could not stop even if I wanted to. I did not even intend to cry but unstoppable tears just fell and would not stop. That was embarrassing for me but it was part of menopause. Unfortunately I did not know it then. Now as I review my life I see that it was part of the mood swings that come with menopause.

What is menopause? It is the time of life for women when reproduction stops. Your monthlies come to an end. Your hormones go wild before tapering off. You feel all manner of inconvenient weird things. What makes it worse is you heard many awful menopausal stories. Many women take them to heart and anticipate their happening, which makes things worse. Many women fear their loss of womanhood. If you no longer bleed every month, does that mean you’re a man? Will your husband still desire you? Will you get ugly and ancient? Is life really over? Many women get depressed because they feel their lives as vital attractive persons are over. But is it really?

I remember feeling those night sweats, crying jags, and even the shooting up of my blood pressure to dizzying heights. Then one New Year’s Day three years after putting up with all those symptoms I told my body: Enough of this. I want my old life back. No more tricks. I was very serious about this. About a month later I realized that it was all over. My body had listened to me.

I think the only medicine I took was Oil of Evening Primrose, an organic. I did not take any hormones or any chemical drugs. And I lived happily ever after with no more problems. I am 70 and still kicking.

Menopause is a necessary transition for women to go from taking care of children, husband to taking care of herself. It is a rite of passage into real adult womanhood, when you are no longer spinning around to your hormonal ups and downs. You stop having babies, pass that task to your children, hence the menopausal ritual. Just remember, don’t let it get the better of you. It will come and it will go and you will survive and be happy. There is lots of life after menopause and it is a happier life. 

It has been almost 20 years since my menopause. What do I really have to say? One, I wonder why almost all my gynecologists were male. Two, Dr. Manahan was wrong about surgical menopause. You will go through it when it comes. You will not enjoy it but you will survive and be happy once more.

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