Picking up the pieces

Life is strange.  Sometimes for long periods I would sit alone staring out windows or at walls wishing someone would call and invite me out but nobody does.  Then one day an old dear friend calls, invites me to meet her new group of friends at Sunday breakfast. It’s two blocks from where I live now and so I go out that Sunday morning and walk over a bit hesitantly.  I don’t know who’s going to be there.  I don’t know if I will fit.  Will we like each other?

That was in July, almost four months ago, and now I have a group of new friends.  Now there is something for me to do every Sunday morning  have a fun breakfast with friends.

Then, suddenly, things changed.  It all began last Thursday night when I went with a classmate of mine to see an Argentinian tango show.  Whoa, I told myself a little after we got there.  What am I doing here?  Dancing these days is no longer my idea of dancing.  First, you do it with a DI, who may not be a dear friend of yours.  So the relationship of people on the dance floor is different from what it was in my day.  Of course, they dance well technically now, but not enough of them dance intimately.  And someone with long scrawny legs and arms dances like a spider.

On Saturday, I shopped at the St. Luke’s bazaar and shopped at a friend’s house.  We had lunch, just the two of us, and laughed a lot.  The following Monday I had lunch with another old friend and her children.  That was fun. We enjoyed each other’s company and I still had lots of energy for the day.

That afternoon I had to go to a book launch.  Anna Santos, once my writing student, has written a book, a journal for young solo moms.  She invited me to her book launch, asking if I might talk a little?  Sure, I said.  The book is titled Happy Even After and it is very clever.  She asked a group of young solo mothers to write about their experiences and put them into the book, leaving space for the owners to also write their own experiences.  She researched a solo parent’s rights and benefits and put them in the book.  Things have certainly changed since I became a solo parent.

According to Ana, solo parents can arrive at work late sometimes or compress their work hours so long as this does not affect their productivity and performance.  No employer can discriminate against a solo parent and your regular leave is increased by seven days in case your child gets sick.  That’s fabulous isn’t it?  It was never like that during my time.  I suppose, thanks to my generation, who broke up our marriages and lived as outlaws.  Now they have laws to help us.

Anna’s book launch happened on the same night that Bobby Caballero, an old friend from advertising and mahjong, launched a book called Decorating with Flowers at the Ayala Museum.  So, there I went, slipped in quietly in front of Mr. and Mrs. Roger Pullim.  Mrs. Pullim is Tessie Tomas, to whose birthday party I went last Oct. 29.   At this book launch I saw a lot of old friends to at least smile and wave to.  By the time I got there I was tired, hungry and waning.  Outside the rain was pouring so I could not walk home.  I had some things to eat, a glass of wine to drink, then I slipped out quietly but ran into my old friend Patch outside, where stood talking for a while.

 I came home tired.   I asked myself  have you forgotten that you are an introvert?  You really don’t like crowds.  Why do you keep saying you want to go out and then once out begin to regret it?  Get a grip, lady.  Stare out the window and at the ceiling for a change but try not to go out so much anymore.  Keep your crowds small.

You’re reading this and thinking  well, it’s Saturday morning and she must be happily alone.  I am happily in Davao with my Gonzalez cousins and their friends, the Magallanes family.  I have another book to launch this afternoon.  This week is my book launch week.

But never mind, tomorrow I will get home a little bit late for my Sunday breakfast group but I will be there.  And afterwards I shall go home and go to bed dead tired.  I have begun to pick up the little pieces of my social life.   I wonder  what will my life be like next year?

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