Living his 'dash' to the fullest
There is a short dash between a person’s date of birth and the death of his demise. That small “dash” is what matters the most in the eyes of God and man. It is the way the person lived and loved during his time on earth.
A month ago, my fellow Star columnist Letty Jacinto launched her book Purple Shades and in it I read a chapter entitled “How Do You Live Your “Dash?”. I was struck by a line she quoted there: “For it matters not, how much we own-the cars, the house, the cash;
what matters is how we lived and loved and how we spent our dash.”
It made me think of my Dad, who was about to celebrate his 90th birthday. Imagine yourself at 90. How do you think you will be at that age? Healthy, active and mentally sharp? Or weak, feeble and senile? Or somewhere in between?
By God’s amazing grace, my Dad is strong, active and mentally sharp. He plays golf weekly, exercises regularly, travels when he must, still drives his car, and goes to office daily. He is active in church matters, and is a lector in the Sunday masses at Urdaneta Village and the Saturday masses at Wack wack Golf and Country Club where he is an active member. He keeps abreast of the latest technology and knows how to text and use the computer. He keeps us all connected to each other and to him on a daily basis by constant texts, reminding us not to miss First Friday mass, to pick up Mommy and bring her to the doctor, not to forget to exercise to keep healthy, or whatever it is that he feels we must do. Close friends marvel at our closeness as a family. The loving relationship that Daddy has with our mom and with us, his children, is the bedrock of this closeness. We are equally close to Mommy dearest but somehow, the authoritative hand of Dad is what reined us in and kept us close to each other. We, his entire family, are so blessed to have a father like him.
But going back to the “ dash”, I could not help but think about how Daddy has lived and is still living his dash.
I know in my heart that this is what St. Peter would tell Dad when he meets him by the Pearly Gates (Hopefully in another 90 years): Manuel Yulo Carmona, you have lived an exemplary life on earth. You were a good husband and father, you helped every body who approached you for help, even if it meant depriving yourself of life’s luxuries,you helped the poor consistently, you treated every body, rich and poor alike without discriminating on who they are or what they are, humility was one of your many virtues, you were not self indulgent, you respected your body and worked hard to be healthy. Charity was second nature to you and at the expense of giving your family a life of luxury, you preferred to give to the poor. God the Father, God, the Son and God the Holy Spirit are really pleased with how you lived your dash. The choir of angels singing your favorite songs welcome you to the heavenly kingdom and I am personally escorting you to meet our Lord God. The Kingdom of God is yours forever to enjoy!!”
I am not over patronizing my father, but he really is all of the above and more.
When my siblings and I were planning Dad’s 90th birthday bash, we met so much resistance on his part. The Philippines was just hit by two killer typhoons and Dad could not imagine celebrating any event, not even a milestone such as his 90th birthday. He preferred to give the money to charity, as usual. But we convinced him finally when we said that we would put in his invitation that “in lieu of gifts, a donation to a favorite charity would be appreciated” and that we would tone down the guest list.
Family and friends from all over the globe and the country flew in so as not to miss this memorable event.
Our cousin Celito Montelibano invited the University of Santo Thomas Symphony Orchestra and Chorus with Tenor Lemuel de la Cruz and Soprano Rachel Gerodias to sing popular classical numbers which every one enjoyed. The conductor was Dr. Hermie Ranera. The highlight of the evening was the many testimonials from family and friends about how our Dad helped them to be where they are today. I was teary eyed through it all. Not to be forgotten was the presence of healer priest, Father Suarez, who arrived after a healing mass that he officiated in. He said that he wouldn’t miss Dad’s 90th birthday! And for extra bonus, he blessed all of those who were present that night and asked us to raise our hands over Dad as he prayed for him.
The family showed their talent as well. My sister Marisa danced a world class Tango Argentinian number with her teacher Jun Borja, niece Alexa Corcellut, who flew in from Paris with my sister Loudette, gave a seductive Belly dance with veils, nephew Stephan Chan sang and accompanied himself on the keyboard, poet sister Loudette recited a poem she wrote for the occasion. I put together my flamenco mates, teacher Cecile de Joya, Tereret Liboro, Gino Echavez, Marichi de Joya and danced the Sevillana, and as a finale, sister Annie led all of us to dance a hip hop number to the tune of Nobody, Nobody but you. Our brother Charlie was the emcee of the entire program. It was a labor of love and very well appreciated by our Dad.
Judging from the text messages we received the next day, the guests enjoyed the event and thanked us all for inviting them to witness this celebration of 90 years of life and love.
On our part, we celebrate this season in utmost gratitude to Emmanuel for the abundant blessings that he showered on our family by giving us one special person, our Dad, Manuel Y. Carmona.
