Pay-light savings time!

I need these running shoes, I thought, as I slid my credit card towards the cashier. If I was to run against the impending recession, I needed a good pair of iPod-connectable Nikes. The Dow was down, New York stockbrokers were investing in a lot of 90-proof liquor to cope with the crisis, and poor Diddy had to ditch his mile-high club c*nts for the grotsky flight attendants on American Airlines. And while NEDA says our local economy’s going to be driving into a gridlock rather than crashing into the global market pileup, these tough times still call for us to purge the urge to splurge.

What does ‘living within your means’ even mean?

For a while now, my own personal fun fund has called for a break as well. Dropping a Ninoy and two Manuels for drink and dinner; a couple of hundreds for a rum and Coke at one-and-a-half-hour intervals (with gratuity for Mr. Bartender); and then P150-300 depending on the hangover-preventative meal that follows such cash distribution — two to three times a week, not inclusive of party favors — is just absurd given the weight of the imminent world market collapse. Shelling out P600 for a small plate of hamachi sashimi, P700-plus for an obscure foreign magazine, and that extra P100 tip for the valet guy at Megamall (yes, Megamall), just isn’t fee-sible anymore either.

Neither is forking cash over to a traffic cop when he waves you down. An initial feeling of emptiness washed over me when I looked into my empty wallet — okay, there was a crinkly 20 peeking with all false optimism from inside — and then I glanced at the cop, who regarded me like a fast food drive-through cashier would if Dakota Fanning came by ordering an upsized baggie of crack coke and a ‘shroom burger. For some reason, my registration had ceased to renew itself since I graduated from college and six years had passed since my license had gone M.I.A. In that stretch, I’d been able to work road bribery into my expenses along with a lot of inane purchases charged to impulse (“Ooh, a floating beverage cooler!” “Ooh, a daylight projection clock with indoor temperature display!”).

Now, I’ve had cops escort me to ATMs in the past — even hitched a ride on one officer’s bike just to wash my hands of a violation — but this time was different. With the traffic enforcer’s belly pressing against my car window as if to provoke that ol’ habit of pay-to-get-away, a voice inside my head resounded: What about the economy, stupid? At the intersection of EDSA and Meralco Avenue, it suddenly seemed ludicrous for me to continue paying my way through an unsustainable lifestyle. And thus my surrender to self-betterment by budgeting began. 

A Lack-surely Lifestyle

Conversational obsession with the global recession (global warming’s taking a back seat for now, but earth on its last legs is still a great topic) means living within one’s means is the new living it up. With the recent “downturn” of events (OD’ing gas prices included), I figured it was time to venture into a lack-sure-use lifestyle — one of chin-rubbing disbursement discernment and sobering monetary practicality. Well, sobering in every sense of the word — ‘cause nada dinero would be used to finance further bodily intoxication. Okay, maybe a beer or two to punctuate the working week, but no more slips of the moneyclip, even if it’s to aid the thirsty (“A round for… *hiccup* …everybody!”) or heal the weary (“Screw work tomorrow! Down that margarita and say adios to your Tuesday meeting!”)

In a way, downward mobility is good for attaining a personal economy of scale. “In hard times, people often rediscover the peace that prudence brings,” said Time columnist Nancy Gibbs on the character building that comes with the financial crumble. So far, being car-less for a week (my license plates are being held hostage at the LTO) and skimming away my excesses has proven to be liberating. Here, a few recession resolutions that can turn scrimpin’ into big pimpin’:

1. Piso-cal fitness: The sluggishness of the economy doesn’t mean you’ve got to follow suit. The time and money you allocate during an alco-wholly all-nighter could actually be spent doing your body good. Maybe trade the 15 hours you piss away on partying hardy each week for a daily 15 minutes of hearty footwork. Besides, why burn cash when you can burn calories?

2. Net worth: Get in touch — I mean, really get in touch — with your software side. Learn InDesign, play Spore, or just live your life online. Everything’s free on the Net and you can use it as a financial bomb shelter — passing the time ‘til economic ease by sharpening your social networking profile, dedicating YouTube montages to the Lindsay-Sam romance, or becoming a cyber porn pundit able to distinguish the xxxtra-sensory benefits of RedTube over XTube.

3. Naked lunch: A small order at the restaurant isn’t too much of a tall order. Get used to splitting a meal, picking out just-right menu items, and table water. You eat less, you pay less, you weigh less. Simple as that. Oh, and now it’s excusable to bethat annoying customer who asks: “Um, purified ba yung water niyo?”

4. Keep the change: Consider these money-shy times a chance to free yourself of all those dispensable desires and dependencies. You do not need to be riding a train through South India — sipping Bombay Sapphire in your linen suit — for inner peace. Nor do you need that non-fat latte for your day to run smoothly. Freezing your account leads to freeing yourself from that modern mental construct of “you are what you buy.” Then you get to appreciate the small things — conversation, toilet reading, TV 5 programming… you know, the things we take for granted.

In any case, the polar ice caps are melting, a spate of general calamities will continue to befall humankind, and doomsday might just be part of your five-year plan. Our financial slowdown could teach us to take it easy and look around at our dyingworld for a bit. Looking over money matters and at the things that actually do might just pay off in the end.