Women, men and priests

Apparently that was a controversial column I wrote last week. That night, as I ambled into the Ateneo High School gym to attend the homecoming, I ran into one of my old Jesuit friends. "I read your ‘Little Girls and Priests’ column. You excused the Jesuits," he chuckled. Well, my uncle was a Jesuit so they must have stayed away from me. I did not, however, realize how controversial that column would be.

Usually on weekend mornings my cell phone registers a lot of text from people sending their comments. This time there were fewer comments but from different people. Let me copy some, edited:

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I had an almost similar experience in high school. I went to a Catholic school. We had a retreat. The priest handling the confession looked old, around 60. There was no confession booth. We were to confess in front of him. He sat and we knelt in front of his lap. When it was my turn, he placed my head on his chest almost forcibly. I was confused thinking that it couldn’t be what I was thinking because he was a priest. It was my own malicious mind. But I never forgot about that. I struggled through my confession and finished it as fast as I could. I never thought that happened with other girls.

Congratulations on your piece. I found it powerful and disturbing to say the least. I hope this be made required reading especially in exclusive schools for girls

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A similar incident happened to me a few weeks ago. I went to a church hoping to talk with a priest about a personal problem. A monsignor in his 80s counseled me. He began touching my knees, squeezing my hand, holding my arm. I kept thinking – it can’t be. He is a man of God. We were in church. If you can’t feel safe there then I should have just gone to the local jail. Maybe the common thief or rapist would have been more aware of the setting, be more afraid of the warden. I went out scared, repulsed, and confused about my faith, swearing never to go back to that church or allow my children to seek counseling from priests. Made me think maybe Dan Brown also had a similar experience that pushed him to write books to make us question the Catholic Church. Thank you, Ms. Gonzalez, your article was an instant support group for me.

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Hi! At 14 I was molested by a monsignor. When the sex scandal of US priests was front page, I almost came out to denounce! The priest has a castle now on top of the mountain overlooking the town. Me? Am now a male senior citizen. The priest is still alive and kicking, perhaps! Young boys should also stay away from priests.

The above are just a few of the ones I received. They told me that there are many people out there "girls and boys," some now men and women who have felt defiled by priests. But, like me, they don’t know where to complain, don’t know where to go, pretend it’s a secret but feel defiled continuously. Why? A friend asked. I said, I think it’s because they are not just ordinary men, they are priests. They have a position of authority and sanctity over us. At any rate, any man who makes a pass at a woman is unforgettable, but priests are especially so.

Now I turn to the priests. Please, you must know this. Men and women you molest are marked forever. Don’t touch them as children or as adults. I think if you cannot control yourselves you should start more seriously lobbying against your celibacy laws. You don’t need them. To younger men, if you cannot control yourselves, don’t become a priest.

To the girls and boys, men and women out there, if you need to complain, e-mail me. I will help you make it public by writing about it. Just ventilate your anger because unless you do, how do they know how much harm they caused you? Also do it so they can no longer hide their sins. We are expected to confess ours and expected to mask theirs? Something is wrong with that.

Two more quotes, not edited:

1 Peter 2:9 Says you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praise of Him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous.

Hebrews 4:14 and 5:11- Try to read the scriptures to understand and be saved by the grace of God through faith alone in Jesus Christ. Through the person and work of Christ.

Please don’t be angry with me for being too forward. I just want you to be saved.

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Twenty-five years ago I was and still am a Catholic defender. I say to you, stay away from us Catholics. You Ms. Gonzalez, you flipped-mind devil-disguised protestants! Don’t use the STAR to further your lessening your ranks! I say to you once, don’t speak your mind against us, if you do, I ask God that you be cursed and all of your family! I demand a written public apology if you don’t do it, I curse you, if you have family I ask God that they should die of painful sickness or accident!

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Am I going to apologize to a crazy Catholic defender? No, never. I too am a Catholic and I did not say anything against God. You made me realize how controversial that column of mine was. That’s all you did.

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Send comments to lilypad@skyinet.net or secondwind.barbara@gmail.com or text 0917-8155570..