Monkey business

I bought my daughter a pet monkey from Cartimar last Christmas. The monkey has become too much to handle and we would like to donate it to the Manila Zoo. Who can we contact? - Stephanie Dy Liaco

The Zoo has become overloaded with monkeys and pythons that have become too difficult to handle. When receiving a monkey or snake donation, the guys at the zoo are just too polite to refuse. The most number of unwanted former pets are reticulated pythons caught from the wild followed by monkeys bought from Cartimar. The Manila Zoo, or any other zoo, is not a repository for unwanted exotic animals usually purchased on impulse. It takes life-long commitment from you and family members to care for little cheetah since monkey husbandry (No, you don’t marry them) is equivalently as difficult as adopting a mentally challenged person! Most impulse purchased primates end up tied to poles, open to teasing and abuse from neighborhood kids, cramped and neurotic in undersized chicken wire cages, or plain and simple dead. Do you have the patience to toilet train and put a diaper on it? Do you have the time to carry and cuddle an infant primate as you would a human baby many hours a day? Close body contact is important for baby monkeys! Do you have the commitment to pick it up when it screams in the middle of the night because it is afraid? Would you have the knowledge and budget as well to feed it correctly?  If you purchased yours from Cartimar, it is probably a Philippine Macaque. This species is endemic to our islands and far from endangered. Very prolific even if collected heavily for medical research, they are hardy and continue to thrive even in urban areas. My advice to those who want to care for monkeys is for them not to. Primate husbandry is probably the most difficult of all animal adventures pet lovers can embark on. They are best left in the wild or viewed in educational institutions such as zoos.

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Where can I buy a Piranha? I think they’re cool! - Daft punk 23

It is highly prohibited to sell Piranhas in the Philippines because of the fear that they may be accidentally introduced to our waterways and wreak havoc, causing missing fingers and toes of the river bathing public! This, I believe, is totally unfounded because Piranhas need correct PH balance, super clean fresh water and streams and rivers in these islands, sad to say, are not conducive to Piranhas thriving and propagating. These mean fish serve their purpose in the whole eco-scheme of things. Endemic to the Amazon where they grow as big as 12 inches, these mean fish are the "eliminators" of the weak, slow and sick that have no place in the wild.

It is said that a whole cow can be consumed by a school of hungry Piranhas in 20 minutes leaving nothing but bones. A sickly bovine (cow to you, Ssnakey) drinking in Piranha infested waters can be tipped off balance by an attack leaving a trail of blood red river in its wake! Sorry buddy, Piranhas are cool but you can’t buy them in these parts.

Animal Jottings

Since we are in the topic of non-endemic species being introduced into our ecosystem, did you know that we are on the edge of an eco-disaster? Remember those cute, bottom-dwelling, detritus-eating janitor fish (Hypostomus plycostomus) that clean the sides and bottoms of aquaria? They were accidentally introduced to Laguna de Bay in the mid ’90s and have multiplied a million-fold, wreaking havoc on native fish populations. These introduced species, very hardy and thrive even in murky Pasig, compete for food with native fish species and are quite territorial! They have sharp spines that damage fishermen’s nets and rock hard, bony bodies that aren’t edible. I was walking along the Pasig River in Binondo one afternoon when I chanced upon literally thousands visible from the murky water’s edge. It was a marine post-nuclear sight seeing legions of these spiny fish! I do not know how we can solve this. All I know is it is not a good idea to introduce any animal into our very sensitive ecosystem be it the ugly spiny Plycostomus or the cute little squirrels proliferating in the elite gated villages of Forbes and Dasma.  More on the squirrels next week. Till then, adiossss!

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For all those asking for the contact number of Avilon Zoo in Montalban, it’s 633-0852 or 634-5550. Look for Rachel.

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Watch Animalandia in Magandang Umaga Bayan, 6 a.m. daily on ABS-CBN. E-mail your questions at kuyakim@hotmail.com or text 0918-2010405.