Chewing your way to weight loss
September 27, 2003 | 12:00am
It takes a ton of food to make me feel full. As a result, I am constantly overeating. I have never been fat in my life as I had an overactive metabolism and furthermore was quite athletic. But lately, I’ve noticed that weight has been creeping up and in fact during my last checkup, my doctor said I am overweight. Is there a drug I can take to keep myself from overeating?
Chubby
Do you have a problem that you are keeping to yourself? Studies show that food has a numbing effect and can help a person escape from feelings he/she doesn’t like. Seeing a therapist to help you with your pent-up feelings and to understand the role that food is playing in your life could be helpful. Or maybe, you got so used to eating a lot it has become a habit. And now that you are older, your metabolism has slowed down and you are not too active, the calories are resulting in weight gain. Or perhaps you are taking some medication that make you eat a lot. All these factors have to be considered and only you can answer them. A good goal is to get the eating under control and start paying attention to the STOP signal. Eating healthy foods is a good start. Chewing your food well and eating slowly could be helpful. When the urge to eat comes, do another activity instead to get your mind off eating. There’s a book you must read: Overcoming Binge Eating by Dr. Christopher Fairburn. Get it from Amazon.com if the local bookstores don’t have it.
I am in an awkward situation. I have two close friends, male and female, who ended up dating each other and are now in a serious relationship. That’s fine with me, but I would like to keep my friendships with each of them separate. Trouble is, she resents any socializing that I do with him without her. Sometimes he invites me for lunch and this drives her up the wall. We were friends before she came into the picture, but she doesn’t care. Anything that concerns me socializing with her boyfriend makes her green with jealousy. She demands that her boyfirend, my friend, does not see me without her. Or talk to me when she is not around. He feels that she is making impossible demands but loves her and doesn’t want to lose her either. How do I get her to chill out?
Innocent Third Party
Your once-upon-a-time close friend is now hostile and jealous and considers you a big threat. The fact that you were his friend before she was his girlfriend does not help the situation any. She is trying to tell you to leave her boyfriend alone. You are witnessing what a triangle can do to an otherwise rational human being. And as long as you keep seeing her boyfriend alone, even as a friend, she will act like a jealous bitch. You can’t reason with a jealous person. You could keep seeing them separately and let her steam with jealousy but if I were you, I wouldn’t do that. Triangles tend to spin out of control and you may get entangled in an ugly scenario that the three of you will regret later. The more reasonable approach is to bow out. Accept the situation and let him have her. The conflict is between you and your girlfriend and there’s not a lot your male friend can do without jeopardizing his relationship with her. So leave them alone and he will not notice your absence much because that’s how guys are. What he will notice is the peace that your absence will create in his relationship with his girlfriend. And she will appreciate you more for respecting her wishes.
My close friends tend to talk a lot about their dates and they don’t leave out the details of their intimate moments. We are gym mates and are all career women with good salaries. We are all attractive, too, if I must say so myself. In fact, when we get together on girls’ night out, it feels like an episode straight out of Sex in the City. We compare notes on our dates and love life. I think I am quite a serious woman and would like to wait for the right man to come along. But my friends always talk about how so and so is a great lover or a lousy lover. What do they mean?
Inexperienced
Of course, not everyone agrees on what makes one lover amazing and another abysmal. I had a survey among my married friends (one of them has been married three times) they came up with eight commandments and these could be your guidelines when you decide on Mr. Right.
1. He is super-observant. A great lover doesn’t make love to you as if you’re a generic woman; he talks to you and finds out what you want.
2. He’ s a good talker. Great sex goes way beyond the physical. A truly amazing lover stimulates your mind and emotions. He tells you that you are beautiful from head to toe – and you believe him. He makes you feel sexy and desirable which turns you on that much more.
3. He has great hands. Fingertips to palms, he understands the power of touch and lets his fingers do the talking. He knows when to be firm and when to be gentle.
4. He’s familiar with female anatomy. He slowly but surely finds the right spots to stimulate and does so in a way that makes you relax and fully enjoy the experience.
5. He’s excited by you. A great lover is fully satisfied only when you are satisfied. It’s your enjoyment that is more important to him.
6. He kisses well – and a lot. He knows when to shower you with light kisses and when to plant a deep and passionate one. He also knows that a kiss is not meant for lips alone!
7. He’s imaginative. He conjures up fantasies but understands and respects your limits. You know that his sexy ideas are for the two of you to enjoy and connect with each other.
8. He makes you the star of the show. During your intimate moments, he can’t keep his eyes off you. He wants to touch you and hold you even after it’s over. It’s intense, flattering and unforgettable. Simply put, a bad lover is the exact opposite of what’s listed above. It’s up to you what to choose.
For your questions, write to Mayenne Carmona at Star Media Inc., 6th floor, Jaka Bldg., Ayala Ave., Makati City.
Chubby
Do you have a problem that you are keeping to yourself? Studies show that food has a numbing effect and can help a person escape from feelings he/she doesn’t like. Seeing a therapist to help you with your pent-up feelings and to understand the role that food is playing in your life could be helpful. Or maybe, you got so used to eating a lot it has become a habit. And now that you are older, your metabolism has slowed down and you are not too active, the calories are resulting in weight gain. Or perhaps you are taking some medication that make you eat a lot. All these factors have to be considered and only you can answer them. A good goal is to get the eating under control and start paying attention to the STOP signal. Eating healthy foods is a good start. Chewing your food well and eating slowly could be helpful. When the urge to eat comes, do another activity instead to get your mind off eating. There’s a book you must read: Overcoming Binge Eating by Dr. Christopher Fairburn. Get it from Amazon.com if the local bookstores don’t have it.
Innocent Third Party
Your once-upon-a-time close friend is now hostile and jealous and considers you a big threat. The fact that you were his friend before she was his girlfriend does not help the situation any. She is trying to tell you to leave her boyfriend alone. You are witnessing what a triangle can do to an otherwise rational human being. And as long as you keep seeing her boyfriend alone, even as a friend, she will act like a jealous bitch. You can’t reason with a jealous person. You could keep seeing them separately and let her steam with jealousy but if I were you, I wouldn’t do that. Triangles tend to spin out of control and you may get entangled in an ugly scenario that the three of you will regret later. The more reasonable approach is to bow out. Accept the situation and let him have her. The conflict is between you and your girlfriend and there’s not a lot your male friend can do without jeopardizing his relationship with her. So leave them alone and he will not notice your absence much because that’s how guys are. What he will notice is the peace that your absence will create in his relationship with his girlfriend. And she will appreciate you more for respecting her wishes.
Inexperienced
Of course, not everyone agrees on what makes one lover amazing and another abysmal. I had a survey among my married friends (one of them has been married three times) they came up with eight commandments and these could be your guidelines when you decide on Mr. Right.
1. He is super-observant. A great lover doesn’t make love to you as if you’re a generic woman; he talks to you and finds out what you want.
2. He’ s a good talker. Great sex goes way beyond the physical. A truly amazing lover stimulates your mind and emotions. He tells you that you are beautiful from head to toe – and you believe him. He makes you feel sexy and desirable which turns you on that much more.
3. He has great hands. Fingertips to palms, he understands the power of touch and lets his fingers do the talking. He knows when to be firm and when to be gentle.
4. He’s familiar with female anatomy. He slowly but surely finds the right spots to stimulate and does so in a way that makes you relax and fully enjoy the experience.
5. He’s excited by you. A great lover is fully satisfied only when you are satisfied. It’s your enjoyment that is more important to him.
6. He kisses well – and a lot. He knows when to shower you with light kisses and when to plant a deep and passionate one. He also knows that a kiss is not meant for lips alone!
7. He’s imaginative. He conjures up fantasies but understands and respects your limits. You know that his sexy ideas are for the two of you to enjoy and connect with each other.
8. He makes you the star of the show. During your intimate moments, he can’t keep his eyes off you. He wants to touch you and hold you even after it’s over. It’s intense, flattering and unforgettable. Simply put, a bad lover is the exact opposite of what’s listed above. It’s up to you what to choose.
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