How to be a social climber

I am writing you because I saw you at the office of chairman Honey Girl Singson and I recognized you as the writer of this column. I was there to claim my prize as a lotto winner. Now that I have millions, I would like to belong to Manila’s "high society." I always read Maurice Arcache’s column as well as Johnny Litton’s, and I dream of having my picture with high society people published. I plan to buy a condo at Rockwell or Essensa or Pacific Place (a Makati realtor suggested these places) so I can belong to the "uppercrust" as they are called. I have a small family anyway so we can all fit in a condo. But now that I am rich, all my relatives and in-laws are always visiting us. Maybe if I move to a rich neighborhood, they will not come too often as they are not always dressed properly. But what steps should I take so I can fulfill my dream of being in high society now that I have the money? – Nelia

There are several ways to social climb. And now that you have the money, you can do it in style. You are starting on the right track by buying that condo at Rockwell or Essensa. Be sure to get a good interior decorator so your place is elegantly furnished. If you send me a self-addressed envelope, I could give you some suggestions on Manila’s top interior designers. Once your condo is finished, get to know your neighbors. Give a big dinner party, or a series of dinner parties if your place is not big enough, catered by top caterers and invite the big names living in your building. That way, they get to know you. Have a top-notch society photographer take some pictures and invite a social chronicler to attend the affair so he can write about it. If you buy at Rockwell, there are also bigwigs who live there. But that is not all it takes to belong to Manila’s "high society" as you call it. The climb is more tedious and costly than you think. You have to have your clothes made by the top couturiers and you have to shop in the right boutiques and jewelry stores. Go to the popular beauty salons that are frequented by the in crowd. Make sure to read the newspapers about what is happening in town, like concerts, Christmas bazaars, fundraisers, etc. and volunteer to join their committees for fund-raising. (Make friends with one of the organizers, they welcome a helping hand and donations.) Open a business, like a restaurant, a bar, or a boutique and hire the best PR in town to invite Manila’s "high society" as you call them. Make sure your launching is published in all the major dailies. Patronize photographers when they have photo exhibits even if they charge an arm and a leg, just so your picture is in the exhibit. After years of doing this, you might get there. If not, keep on trying, but not at the expense of your family, your fortune and your sanity. After all, what truly matters in life is to be loved not by your newfound friends now that you are a millionaire, but by your family and friends who will always be there for you, for richer or for poorer.

* * * Say Goodbye To Sun-Damaged Skin

I’ve heard so much about those new creams that help sun-drenched skin go back to normal. My skin is so bad because of years of sunbathing that the expression "looking like a dried prune" applies to me, much as I hate to admit it. I am now so tired of reading magazines that recommend skin products because I’ve tried most of them and nothing seems to work for me. The damage is so bad and I shouldn’t have waited this long. I’ve also tried dermabrasion but it didn’t do much good. Anything new on the market? Money is no object and I can always send for it if it is found only in the USA as I have a sister who lives there. – Zoe

There’s a new cream on the market, according to a newsletter on skincare, that, when applied once daily, can reduce the effects of harmful ultraviolet light exposure and minimize wrinkles. It’s called Avage, and it reportedly erases discoloration, smoothens rough skin and even cures some forms of skin cancer. They tested some men and women and after 22 weeks, only 20 out of 283 developed an allergy to it. The survey reported success for the most part. It’s only found in the USA at the moment so you could ask your sister to get it for you. No harm in trying it as it could work for you.

* * * ‘Your Gifts Are Fine But We Need Cash’

My daughter and her fiancé are coming home to get married. They plan to go back to the USA after their wedding as they live there. They would like to ask their guests to give them cash in lieu of wedding presents as these are too heavy and expensive to bring back. Not to mention, they know exactly what they need to start their new home so it would be better for them to buy their own gifts. What’s the polite way of asking the guests to give cash without seeming tactless about it? – Patricia M., Tarlac City

To start with, when you told your friends that your daughter was coming home with her fiancé to get married, you should also have told them that they were going back to the USA where they both reside. The guests are hopefully smart enough to pick up that the couple would have to pay a fortune for airfare to bring their gifts back so the most logical thing for them to give is cash. But to ensure this, you should tell your very close friends to spread it around that the children are flying back after the wedding and would rather receive cash instead of lugging back heavy gifts. This is exactly what a friend did when her daughter was getting married to her American fiancé and settling in the USA after the wedding. She informed us that it was more practical to give cash so we did exactly as she requested. It spared us the trouble of going to the stores and choosing a gift. One of your relatives could start the ball rolling by giving a cash shower. During the shower, inform the guests that cash is the most appreciated form of gift. Together with the wedding invitation is a bridal registry card. Instead of the latter you could have a card informing the guests that there is no bridal registry because the couple is flying back to the USA where they reside but that cash was appreciated. You could word it like this: "Anne and Tony are flying back to San Francisco where they will reside after the wedding. For practical reasons, in place of gifts, cash is greatly appreciated." I am quite sure that your friends will not find this in poor taste.

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For your questions, write to: Mayenne Carmona, StarGate Media Corp., 6th floor Jaka Bldg., Ayala Ave., Makati City.