John Arcilla says taking care of aging parents 'normal, natural duty'
MANILA, Philippines — The topic of taking care of aging parents has seen divided opinions, but for award-winning actor John Arcilla, it is a "natural and normal duty" to take care of them.
Arcilla stated his stand on the controversial topic by starting with a disclaimer that his Facebook post was not intended to rebut anyone.
With some words spelled in capitalized letters, Arcilla wrote: "This is not a rebuttal to anyone, this is just my take on Parent-Children Relationship generally speaking."
Arcilla explained that the concepts of "utang na loob," or giving back for doing a favor, and obligation should not be used when one talks about their parents and taking care of them.
For Arcilla, it should be "normal" since it is part of the "natural duty" of a person to take care of a weaker individual, just like when a parent takes care of a newborn or his children who have no means of taking care of themselves.
This logic, Arcilla said, applies to aging parents whose age and resources might have dwindled over the years due to lack of opportunities and financial and physical capabilities, as opposed to when they were younger and able to work and provide for the family.
"'Utang na loob' and 'obligasyon' are wrong words pag ang usapan ay mga MAGULANG na ating PINANGGALINGAN…Hindi naman talaga utang na loob o obligasyon ang Pagkupkop o pagtulong sa mga tumatandang magulang- dahil ito ay NORMAL at NATURAL na DUTY ng MGA ANAK. Kasing NATURAL at NORMAL nung inaalagaan nila tayo nung maliit pa."
"Pinakain, dinamitan iginapang, at pinag aral. Tama naman na Responsibilidad 'yun ng mga magulang sa walang muwang na mga anak, KAYA RESPONSIBILIDAD din ng BAWAT anak na alagaan at ARUGAIN ang mga magulang pag matatanda na, mahihina na at wala ng LAKAS at RESOURCES para MAGTRABAHO at asikasuhin ang sarili. Katulad natin nung INALAGAAN AT TINUSTUSAN pa nila nung sanggol tayo kasi hindi pa natin kayang alagaan at tustusan ang ating sarili, hanggang sa makatapos ng PAG AARAL," the actor said.
Arcilla sees this as a "normal cycle of life." He added that this should not be an issue that people should be debating on.
The actor made concessions for those who were abandoned or who suffered from bad parenting. He said if that was the case, one can reconsider if the child will still be responsible towards the parent.
"Ngayon, kung naging masama silang magulang o pinamigay nila tayo sa ibang tao - ibang level ng kwento yun- dun lang siguro magkakaroon ng iba’t ibang PAMANTAYAN kung RESPONSIBILIDAD pa din ba sila ng mga anak," he said.
He also talked about how the issue has even triggerred misunderstanding among siblings, whether who among them should take care of their aging parents. But for Arcilla, this should not be the case. His sees time as valuable, as something that the parents would cherish especially during the last days of their lives.
"MINSAN nagiging issue pa ito ng magkakapatid. Ang panahon ay hindi pwedeng gawing excuse, sa usaping pera, magugutom tayong pareho ng magulang natin pag wala tayong pera, at kakain tayong pareho pag may kita. Ang mahalaga ay may kasama siyang tumatawid sa natitira niyang buhay," the actor said.
He reiterared his earlier stand on the topic and added that the parents should be part of the children's plan for their future.
Arcilla pointed out that children, when they become adult, come to a point where they also think of their future, including the time when they, too, get old. The thought would lead them to think about who could take care of them and who would be by their side. With this realization comes Arcilla's point about the natural cycle of life.
It is also an act which their children will emulate, especially how their parents treat their grandparents.
"GENERALLY SPEAKING, OBLIGAHIN MAN NILA TAYO O HINDI, RESPONSIBILIDAD NATIN SILA - yun ang NORMAL. Yun ang NATURAL na cycle ng buhay. KAYA nga dapat habang lumalaki ang tao at nangangarap, kasama sa plano natin at ng ating mga kapatid kung paano aalagaan ang mga magulang natin pag tanda nila.
"KASI AMININ MO, pag tanda natin Gusto din nating makita ang mga anak natin sa ating tabi, makasama sila hanggang sa huling sandali. Nahirap man sabihin o AMININ gusto natin na sila ang MAG ALAGA at magbantay sa atin kaysa IBANG TAO, hanggang tayo ay malagutan ng HININGA, na posibleng hindi mangyari KUNG HABANG LUMALAKI ANG MGA ANAK NATIN AY HINDI NAMAN NILA NAKIKITA NA INA-ALAGAAN NATIN ANG ating mga MAGULANG.
"Ano ang kanilang magiging HALIMBAWA at BASEHAN, kung ang ating responsibilidad at duty sa ating mga magulang ay hindi natin ginagawa SA HALIP AY KONUKWESTION PA NATIN? Mas malamang magiging ganun din sa atin ang ating mga anak," Arcilla stressed.
The actor reminded that if one dreams of having their children by their side when they get old, it is good to set a good example by taking care of one's aging parents.
"Kaya kung pinapangarap din nating makasama at alagaan tayo ng ating mga anak. Ipakita natin sa kanila na NORMAL at NATURAL ang PAG ALAGA AT PAG ARUGA NG ATING MGA MAGULANG," ended the actor.
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