‘I’m 18 and worried I might be pregnant’

DEAR EPPY,

Recently, I had sex.  I am only 18 years old.  It’s been quite some time now since I last had my period.  I am worried that I might be pregnant.  I honestly don’t want to be pregnant.  I need your help.  May I know what I can do so I won’t have a baby?

PREGNANT TEEN

DEAR PREGNANT TEEN,

What you are requesting for is an advice on going about an abortion.  It sounds like it, and it feels like it.  I will not judge this as right or wrong.  Allow me to be a parent to you at this point.  What you are going through is something scary.  Knowing that you are pregnant can be very stressful because of what will be.  In your mind, having a baby will change a lot of things in your life.

Pushing through with the pregnancy will mean not going out at night and having fun on weekends; your social life will be a bit restrictive for the next couple of years; you will have to wake up late nights to feed your child; there’s the possibility of missing out on marriage because men might avoid you because of your child; being a single mother, you will be solely responsible for taking care of your child; and your reputation will not be as good as it is now.

It sounds bad because these are the negative consequences of having a baby.  Now, let’s consider the positive side of being a mother.  Some mothers think that because they have not achieved anything and no one has recognized them for any achievement, they are nothing.  I don’t understand this. 

I think being a mother is the most trying, difficult, and tiring job anyone can think of.  How can that be “nothing?”  I hear some mothers saying, “I am just a housewife and only take care of my children.”  How can taking care of a child be considered “only”?

When we die, do we bring our plaques, our titles, and recognitions with us to our graves?  I honestly have not seen anyone dead with their plaques, titles (such as Miss Universe or Mr. Universe), and recognitions beside them in their coffins. 

The work of a mother is fulfilling because they see their children grow and mature.  Yet, taking care of her child is without expectation of compensation for her work.  As a mother, you will see the first smile of your child.  You will see your child’s first step, hear his/her first word, and many more.  Before a mother moves on to a higher life, she will see her child’s look of appreciation.  The rewards of being a mother are many times over more fulfilling than a recognition, a plaque, and a title.

I, for one, appreciate my mother.  As a child, I saw my mother to be the most beautiful woman in the world.  She gave us time by playing children’s games with us in the afternoons before dinnertime.  Of course, we had our conflicts and our fights.  But in the end, I know and feel that she has done her best to love and care for me.  I also know and feel that my mother is always looking out for my best interest.  My mother had gone through a lot, but still, she had time for me.  I appreciate her for the times she was quiet when she should be.  I also appreciate her for the times she was there when I needed her.  I love you, Ma.

If you choose to be a mother, you, too, will have a son or a daughter one day who will also say “I love you” to you to show appreciation for what you’ve done for him/her.  You would have a child who will look at your face with the belief that you are the most beautiful mother in the world.  You will also have a child who will admire you because of who you are, no matter what others may say or think.

Some readers might think that I did not listen to what you were saying.  I know you were asking me to tell you what to do to rid yourself of your baby.  Instead, I am presenting the life of a mother.  This may be so, but if I were your parent, I should be giving you a wider perspective of what is going on in your life.  That’s what I’m doing.  Right now, you seem to be looking at the scary part of being pregnant and are looking for an easy way out.  I am just presenting another possibility that you might want to consider.

In the end, you will be the one to choose what’s best for you.            EPPY

* * *

Email eppygochangco@gmail.com.