Enforcing rules of conduct at home

My children have arrived from school and I normally end my work before they arrive.  This time though, I decided to work a little bit longer so I could write this column.  It has been quite a while and there are tons I want to share.  This only means I have to make a more consistent effort to write, write, write!

I have been busy going around the different SM Malls and schools nationwide, conducting free parenting seminars with our HIPs (Holistically Involved Parents)Pinas team (https://www.facebook.com/hippinas).  It is quite a privilege to have the chance to engage with parents in this manner and I have learned to appreciate all the more the platform given to us to talk about matters that concern parents and how they can improve their family life. 

Some of the most memorable learnings I have gathered from our ongoing tour are as follows: Parents are eager to know how to parent well, they welcome the guidance and are excited to have better relations with their family members. 

Some of the most common concerns they have revolve around generation gaps, balancing screen time, and connecting with their children in this fast-paced, high-tech world. 

The common bonding culprits that the parents shared were: extended television/gadget time especially during meals, computer or gadget attention rather than eye-to-eye contact with parents or peers, superficial discussions that end with hello and how are yous because of the parents’ inability to connect with their children’s interests and also due to the lack of quality time together.

Discussions that have helped encourage parents include: trying to see things from a new perspective, creating the moment for healthy discussions to flow by removing distracting objects from where the family can engage and celebrate each other’s uniqueness in the family.

It is good for us to have the chance to stop and think about our present situation in our home and celebrate what is working and then talk about how to improve on other things that could be better.

So far, it has been good for all of us to have a basis for what rules we want to implement and why.   There have been less emotional outbursts when trying to implement sleeping time and computer use because we have a basis to go back to.  I guess it is quite liberating for us parents because we don’t have to spend too much time debating on issues that are clearly written out. 

I have come up with three assumptions based on our touring and engaging with our children and family: Times may have changed, but time-tested values like respect for parents and others remain important, children long for their parents to show the right way, and that parents long to do what is best for their children given the proper guidelines. 

I’m sure there are lots more to learn, but with these present facts we are faced with about the family, we already have our hands full.  We, parents will just have to take it one day at a time so that by God’s grace we can parent better.  We don’t have to be perfect, but if we at least try and try our very best while we ask for help from the gamut of resources available today, we can produce better generations to come.

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Follow author on twitter@mommymaricel.