Stress is not a status symbol

Recently, my husband and I were caught in a thunderstorm and spent two solid hours stuck in traffic.  We had no choice but to turn back and give up watching Frankie Valli, in person.  “Oh, well, you can always listen to the stage recording of The Jersey Boys,” said my husband.  “We should have taken the MRT,” I replied.  It was a shame to waste good seats.  I wanted to sulk, but that wouldn’t have solved anything.  Besides, why carry any kind of burden into the night?  I had a bowl of hot congee with eight kinds of toppings as my consolation.    Nothing like a full, warm stomach to get rid of any vexation.  It was one good way of licking stress.  

Stress management has been the challenge we face in a short-fused, quickly agitated, highly competitive, fast-paced world.  Here are some suggestions compiled by those who’ve kept cooler heads against those who had fumed their way to self-combustion: 

 â€¢ Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.  Not really as bad as one fellow I know who was a roaming Casanova and never thought about sparing the feeling of his suffering wife.  In a shocking reversal of fate, he came home to an empty house and an empty pantry.  The fridge note read, “For once in my life I have someone who needs me (like the song), who loves me, and vows to protect me from losers like you.  The house is yours.  It’s a cheap price in exchange for my new, stress-free life.  Oh, I almost forgot, funny how the termites ate your closet and the garage  (read:  your Armani suits and the fleet of mean German machines).”  Now who got stressed? 


• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.  Count until 10 or 20 before you speak.  Use the art of persuasion and explain calmly where he or she went wrong without making him or her lose face.  Above all, do not make promises you cannot deliver.  However, remember that there is no substitute for the truth.

• Drive carefully.  It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.  When out on the road, anticipate and think like the drivers who are sharing the road with you.  Even if you are a careful motorist, there is so much at stake when you get involved in a road accident.  Topping this is the nuisance to have to clear your liabilities before the motorist (reckless or not), the police, the judge, and the courts — all stress givers.     


• If you lend someone P5,000 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.  This is the positive way to handle a balasubas or a tightwad borrower.  Best to keep friendship intact by following this simple money rule:  Do not lend or borrow.       

• The second mouse gets the cheese.  That’s because the first mouse is being chased by the cat or dodging the broom.  When applied in real time, it pays to cool your heels and wait.  Recently, my friends and I planned to go to a beach resort for a weekend treat.  Not wanting to waste any time, I paid for an extra 10 kilos of baggage allowance costing P800, just in case I find something nice to bring home from the resort.  A week after I secured my extra baggage allowance, this airline revised their price list to P200 for 15 kilos of extra baggage allowance.  Grrr.  This world had gone mad.   

• When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.  This happened to me in a literal sense.  I was learning to drive in New Zealand, where the road orientation is right-hand driving, similar to England and other Commonwealth countries.  Slowly getting accustomed to driving on the opposite side, and gaining confidence, too, I suddenly saw a 10-wheeler truck right in front of me.  The driver blew what sounded like a foghorn.  “Woman,” he snapped.  “Are you a space cadet?” (Someone who tends to space out or be light-headed, like floating in space.)  That was close.  Why did I ever think that I would have the road all to myself?  Duh.  I added a new adjective to my vocabulary and vowed not to be one. 

• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.  It’s a sign that you are still breathing and far from looking, thinking, and feeling like a zombie — the living undead.  Once, I placed the real number of candles corresponding to my real age and the candles melted the icing off my cake.  Now, I stick to two digit numbers.      

 â€¢ Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.  I wouldn’t count on this.  Once burned, don’t go for a second time.  A beginner’s luck happens only once.    

 â€¢ A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.  Make the most of it.  There is a good reason why your plans sometimes suffer delays.  They are just little hiccups that one must learn to take and learn to breeze through.  Every opportunity provides something good in it.    

      

• Save the earth.  It’s the only planet with chocolate.  Chocolates are best eaten in sweet abandon or miserably, with company.  This is the only world we have.  Let’s take care of it as it has taken care of us.                              

 A few weeks passed when something dawned on me.  What if the Frankie Valli show was cancelled?  I decided to call up the ticket office and a lady replied, “Please bring your unused tickets to the box office and we will refund you the full amount.”      

 A refund?

“You’re just too good to be true,” I sang, like Frankie Valli would.

This was a real stress-buster, too.