Letting go

MANILA, Philippines - To my dearest Cesca,

Soaring through great heights, the past 18 years have been an incredible period of your life.   

The recent 12 days were definitely one of the most memorable times you and I have spent together. Driving around England  from Heathrow to Bury St. Edmunds, from Bury to Bristol most specially   has been a great success.  You have been a great navigator, counting the exits of the roundabout so I don’t miss where to go and going ahead of Alice (in reference to our satellite navigation system) when she’s being slow in giving directions. How we managed to lug those bags and shopping was incredible, and fun, too.  I am very fortunate as a parent to be part of your “moving in” experience to university, in “sorting you out,” as we parents say. I’m sure Dad and your brother Sam would have wanted to be here for you, too.   

You have been incredible in getting things organized at your university and accommodation, and you make Dad, Sam, and I proud.  (It’s always amazed me how you multi-task and get things done even when your room is cluttered!)  I remember at Chinese International School in Hong Kong, the assessment day you attended when you were four years old to see if the school was for you. You entered the room full of toys, little furniture, and other kids and you basically took over.  ”Right, how about you cook in here while I prepare tea, you mop the floor ... etc.?” The teachers had a good impression of your leadership and that augured well for the rest of your school life. 

Life goes on as we move from one house to the other in three different countries.  This is your ninth move in three countries within 18 years!  Counting the schools you’ve been in, University of Bristol is your seventh; starting from Braemar Hill Nursery School (HK), Chinese International School (HK), Int’l School Manila, Culford School, St. Benedict’s School, British School Manila. You have managed to keep in contact with friends from all those schools. 

From gymnastics, ballet, jazz to tennis, hockey, badminton  your passion for music is unsurpassed. what with all the concerts you have seen and organized friends to see since you were 10.  You studied piano and guitar and your ear for music has allowed you to play by ear, a gift. 

Thank you for being a good daughter and a sister to Sam, Louise, and Nick.  There’s something deep about your outlook in life that I find is anchored in good faith  seeing goodness in others and life as a half-filled glass.  We love you dearly and we will miss you. You know that if you need anything or want to talk about anything that you can count on us.  Mum and Dad will listen. 

The difficult part I guess is the letting go.  When does it actually start or have I actually let go?

This year has brought a lot of tears to my life.  I know that Lola and Alexis (who both passed away in April 2010) are with us all in wishing you well.  You going to uni is, of course, a bittersweet moment.  As you have said today, there shouldn’t be tears tomorrow as life will be all so exciting from here on as you embark on this big adventure.  There’s a lot to conquer as each day well spent is a day accomplished.  Waking up to make your smoothie, walking up the hill to attend to your lectures rather than taking the bus, cooking simple meals for yourself and your flatmates  these are all part of the change that will become you.  We know you’ll study and be diligent in your schoolwork and as I leave, I know that you’ll heed and hear my voice, that you’ll look after yourself very well. Keep warm, be well, pray. I feel your burning determination to succeed and make a mark, and I know that will come in balance with a good healthy lifestyle for your well-being. 

Bristol is a beautiful city. I see the writings on the wall.  My dearest daughter will leave footprints on the city when four years from now, Dad, Sam, and I will be at the Wills Memorial building for her commemoration rites. 

I now set you free, my dear Cesca.  Fly and soar to such great heights and be happy. Know that we live in each other’s hearts where love abounds.

God bless you, darling. 

With much love and prayers.

Mum

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Linds Edralin Boughton is married to Chris Boughton, Asia-Pacific managing director of Cambridge University Press. The second daughter of PR icon Max Edralin Jr., she’s lived in Hong Kong for nine years where she got married and gave birth to her two children:  Francesca, 18 and Sam, 13.  

Francesca finished her IB (International Baccalaureate) at the British School Manila last June.  She’s just completed her first year at the University of Bristol in the UK reading Sociology.  This letter was written by her mom the day before she left Bristol last October. It was a send-off letter, a catharsis to the separation anxiety a mother feels when a child leaves home.