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Finding peace in conflict | Philstar.com
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Health And Family

Finding peace in conflict

KINDERGARTEN DAD - Tony Montemayor -

Hostage taking. Kidnapping. Torture.   As can be seen in the headlines over the past few weeks, there is truly so much conflict in our society.   And it is by no means limited to violent confrontations. Animosity and discord seem to permeate every facet of everyday Filipino life. Just read the newspapers. The never-ending tirades of our politicians against each other practically fill up the front pages every day. If you try to escape it all by turning to the entertainment section, you will instead get Willie vs. ABS-CBN, Kris vs. James, and Robin vs. Liezel. Even the sports pages are not exempt as they keep you up-to-date, not only on news about Manny Pacquiao’s next bouts, but also on the continuing power struggles among the various factions of our national sports associations. My father used to like to posit that there is simply no place in our country where there are no conflicts except in the cemetery. But when he mentioned this one time in a seminar, a town mayor raised his hand, stood up, and shouted “I beg to disagree! In our cemetery there are many problems!” He then went on to explain that several people in their town were illegally letting their carabaos graze on the grass in the cemetery. Sigh. Either the good mayor didn’t get my father’s point or he was just being, well, a Filipino mayor. On the other hand, I guess that the guy is correct in saying that there is really no place in the world where there are no problems not even in the cemetery

Ironically, perhaps the reason why there is no place on Earth where there is no conflict is that it’s in our genetic makeup to constantly struggle against each other. We are all individuals with our own ideas and beliefs, wants and needs. It is inevitable that our biases and desires will eventually clash with those of others. Put all of us in a group context and the probability of divisions rises exponentially. Heck, you might even say that the whole universe operates on conflict. The planets, moons, and suns are all in a perpetual planetary tug-of-war with each other. Matter itself is made up of positive and negative electrons that constantly repel one another. But if there is no escape from conflict and if we are all really wired to inevitably end up at each other’s throats, is there still hope for humanity? What then do we teach our kids? That might is right? That the only way to survive in this world is to amass wealth and power so that you can win all of your battles?   Yet as history has constantly shown, even going down this path is no guarantee and that it invariably leads to an ever vicious cycle.

Perhaps just as nature shows us that conflict is everywhere, so too does it provide us with a clue on how we should approach it. If we consider things from a scientific standpoint, it would seem that it is the very existence of conflicting forces in Nature that somehow leads to the creation of life. We live, not in spite of, but because we are made up of atoms and molecules that constantly try to push each other away. Our solar system exists precisely because of the opposing gravitational fields of the sun and planets. The key is balance. Somehow, somewhere, when all of these contending forces find balance, the result is life-generating equilibrium. Similarly, natural catastrophes occur when this delicate balance is disturbed. Maybe the solution then to humanity’s problems is not the total elimination of conflict. Although we obviously need to reduce and avoid useless conflict, a conflict-less world is neither possible nor is it ultimately desirable. Rather, we need to find peace in conflict. If we can find that balance, then I think that we will gain real harmony. Not the peace of the cemetery but a dynamic and constructive peace, like the balance of conflicting forces everywhere in the universe from the molecules and cells to the planets and other heavenly bodies. What is that balancing factor that society needs? Is it compassion, benevolence, or charity? I think that while these and other similar qualities are all important virtues, I believe that the most fundamental need of society today is something else. Justice.

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Please e-mail your reactions to kindergartendad@yahoo.com.

BALANCE

CEMETERY

CONFLICT

CONSTANTLY

EVEN

FIND

LIEZEL

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