Barbizon gets intimate with moms and daughters

Misunderstandings occur between parents and their teenagers. Consider the following scenario: “What are you reading?” the teenager asked her mother. “A nature feature called ‘Penthouse in the Wilderness,’” replied the parent. “Oh,” says her daughter, “It’s about sex in the wilderness.” The daughter walked away, leaving the nonplussed mother surprised that word associations could deviate so much throughout their age groups. Her daughter took the word ‘penthouse’ — which the feature meant as a platform built high up in the treetops — for the magazine. Ergo, “sex in the wilderness.” However, if one considers that the teenage years are when young people become more aware of their sexuality, the daughter’s response is not so surprising after all.

“Puberty is an awkward stage for both offspring and moms,” says host Chiqui Brosas at the Barbizon First Bra Weekend, an activity that sought to help mothers and daughters cope better with the physical, psychological, hormonal. and emotional changes that the stage brings. Celebrity mothers Mariz Ricketts, Pia Magalona, Yayo Aguila. and Jamie Rivera joined school administrator Rowie Matti and psychologist Dr. Aurora Foronda in a discussion of the challenges faced by parents in raising a child through the teenage years. Barbizon is the Philippines’ niche leader for high quality intimate apparel that has among its labels the Li’l Barbizon Girl, fashionable, well-crafted intimate wear made especially for young Filipinas on the brink of puberty.

Why hold a First Bra Weekend? Rosanna Unson, mother of a pre-teen daughter and marketing manager of Barbizon, says that the first bra experience may be one of many that can be utilized by the mother to impart lessons and advice. The teenage years can be confusing for both parent and child, and it is best that they are ready for what could potentially be a difficult stage. “This milestone is something that women will remember for the rest of their lives. We’re all aware that pre-teens can be sensitive, so choosing the right first bra is an important step in fostering a healthy self-image and boosting her confidence,” says Unson. Thus, the activity is part of Barbizon’s commitment to making the transition easier for young Filipinas and their mothers.

Why is the transition period to adulthood difficult for both parents and kids? “Sometimes, it’s hard for daughters to imagine their moms as being once as young as they are now,” explains psychologist Aurora Foronda. She found it “heartening” that through open forums like those held in the First Barbizon Weekend, “we get to see mothers opening up and joking about their interesting first dates with their pre-teen daughters.”  The candor can help daughters to relate better and be more comfortable with their mothers, thus enabling them to be more open with discussing and sharing various issues pertaining to dating, sexuality, and other sensitive issues later on.

“Communication is important,” stresses Jamie Rivera. Constant communication, openness and honesty, along with constant reminders that a mother is her daughter’s best friend, will help them stay connected.

“It is good for your daughters to know that it is better to learn about things from Mom than from other people,” says Yayo Aguila.  Knowing what your daughter is thinking will help you understand her and likewise help you address various issues affecting her more effectively.

Still, young people cannot always verbalize their thoughts. “Young teenagers are more likely to use their styles — including clothing and expressions — to make it clear to their parents that they are no longer the children that they once were,” says Dr. Foronda. Consequently, parents should know their children well to be able to correctly interpret their body language.

Pia Magalona concurs. She recognizes the need for a mother to know that each child has special and unique qualities. She has put her career on hold to become a full-time mom to her brood of eight. “You have to know your children to really understand them and be friends with them,” she says.

And since parenting is not Mom’s responsibility alone, it is a good thing for fathers to be involved in raising their children, too.