Watch your language!

I was on my way out the door to go to work when I heard my kids and their playmates discussing different expressions they had heard in school and on TV. My eight-year-old son Donny was trying to explain why words like, "What the…," "darn," "sh_t," "stupid," and "shut up" are not words that should be said by anyone, most especially children. So I tried to give them my two cents worth, while being very conscious not to sound too preachy.

This is what I told them:

1) "What the…" is often used in TV programs, even in seemingly harmless cartoon shows. It becomes a household expression when somebody drops or forgets something. It is said when somebody can’t believe the outcome of something. It is also used to exaggerate something or to show how serious a situation is. The expression is actually the shorter version of "What the hell." I told the kids it’s like waking up Satan from his sleep – he didn’t have anything to do with why something didn’t turn out right, but since his name was called, he might as well get involved. The word "hell" is also replaced by saying "hey," "heck," and "what in the world."

2) "Darn" is another word for "damn." Damn is used to curse, wish harm or invoke evil upon someone. "The bad witch cursed the child." It does not wish the other person good and hopes that bad will fall upon him.

3) "Sh_t" is never polite to say as it means fecal matter. When I translated it in Tagalog, the kids squirmed in their seats and made ugly faces. Instead of saying this word, we can say, "Oh no!" or "Ay!"

4) When someone is called "stupid," it means he’s worthless.

5) "Shut up" sometimes means, "You’re kidding!" Many times though, it means to keep quiet because another’s opinions are not valued.

I realized that kids don’t really know the meanings of the expressions that they hear around them but find it cool to repeat them because it gives them a sense of being in the loop of things or in gaining the approval of peers. Once they realize the real meanings of these words that they carelessly utter, they will think twice before uttering them.

When we hear foul language from our children, we should keep our cool and not judge them easily. It helps to ask where they heard the word and if they know its meaning. In most instances, you’d realize that they’re just mouthing these words. If you explain their meanings in simple terms, they will realize why you would not want them to say these curse words. Just scolding them for saying these words won’t prevent them from repeating them. But the best way to prevent our kids from getting comfortable with swearwords is, of course, not to say them ourselves.

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E-mail author at mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph.