The mystery of a woman’s soul

It’s Women’s Month this March, which is why I find it so appropriate to share with you some things that struck me about one of my favorite books, Captivating. Written by John and Stasi Eldredge, Captivating seeks to unveil the mystery of the woman’s soul. The book reiterates what John Eldredge wrote in his best-selling book (and sequel to Captivating) Wild at Heart about what the woman has been designed for: to be fought for, to share an adventure, and for her beauty to be unveiled.

To Be Fought For

Practically every blockbuster love story movie revolves around the life of a damsel in distress being rescued by her knight in shining armor.

Stasi tells about loving the feeling of being wanted and fought for. She says that such a desire is set deep in the heart of every little girl and woman. Unfortunately, most women are ashamed to admit it, downplay it, and pretend it isn’t there and yet the same women buy the romance novels.

Don’t we always find ourselves wanting to defend ourselves when we feel our husbands are silent about an issue we want them to stand up to?

Many times, instead of waiting for them to lead us, we end up calling the shots and still feeling alone because what we really want is for our man to stand up for us. In one of our seminars, my husband explained why men don’t move or keep silent: Their women don’t give them a chance to. They don’t fight for their women when they can see that their wives have everything in control. A participant approached us and confessed that she was no longer a beauty to rescue because her achievements in the corporate world had surpassed what her husband could ever accomplish. I believe women should continue to shine where they’re good at, without making men feel inadequate or incapable of completing a woman. When that happens, we will find what we’re actually looking for – to be rescued by our knight. To have an irreplaceable role in a great adventure. Many times, men make conquering a woman their utmost adventure for the moment. When he has won her over, he finds himself looking for a new adventure, which is probably why they end up winning many women’s hearts. I don’t believe at all that men are born polygamous. They just have this adventure issue in the wrong perspective. The book presents a different outlook that women have about adventure. Women do not want adventure for adventure’s sake, but for what it requires of them for others. Because women are relational beings, their lives are meant to be lived with others. This is the reason they long to be an irreplaceable part of a shared adventure.

A Beauty To Unveil

Women, according to the authors, long to be precious to someone, most especially their daddies. They also stress the fact that the deepest hurts done to a woman’s heart are usually caused by her father. When I shared this to a friend the other night, he was quite alarmed because he realized the need to spend time with his eight-year-old daughter who he said was not at all close to him. My husband Anthony went on to explain to our friend what he learned from the book about a girl or a woman’s desire to delight and to be delighted in. Anthony shared that when a young girl goes up to a table to show off her beautiful dress and asks her daddy, "Is my dress beautiful?" what she really means is if she is beautiful to him. She is looking for affirmation and not appreciation for her dress.

The book is not about formulas or a set of standards a woman fails to meet. It provides a journey of the heart towards restoration and release to usher a woman to what she has always longed to be – captivating.

Happy Women’s Month!

* * *

E-mail author at mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph.