How likeable are you?
October 11, 2005 | 12:00am
We want people to like us, befriend us, and make us part of their lives. Since man is a social being, we have an instinctive desire to hook up with others and a natural yearning to belong.
You are likable when you elicit a favorable reaction from people. They get attracted to you, want to get to know you, be near you, and enjoy your company. Nobody in his right mind ever complained about being liked by too many people. Some people even go to great lengths such as employing a public relations expert to increase their likeability quotient.
Your appearance, attitude, personality, projection, and overall packaging can help draw people to you. People like you through a complex combination of conscious and subconscious reasons.
Can anyone be more likable? With a little practice and a lot of fun, you will find out that it is not all that hard to make people like you.
Have a genuine interest in others. People are turned off by a person who is egoistic and self-centered. Shift your focus from yourself to others. This would minimize your self consciousness, the major reason for shyness and social phobia. Ask questions about the people with you like what they do, their concerns, their aspirations.
Be friendly. Open your personal doors by appearing congenial and approachable. We often don’t realize it but our body language, like crossed arms and stiff, "don’t come near me" demeanor, betrays our inner fears and insecurities. Be open, welcoming, and warm. And don’t forget to flash on a friendly, captivating smile!
Be more outgoing and enthusiastic. People like someone who seems to be enjoying life. Don’t be shy and withdrawn. If you don‘t know anyone at a party, excite yourself at the prospect of meeting somebody new and fabulous. Don’t be afraid to say, "Hi!"For all you know the other person might be shy, too.
Be positive and optimistic. People don’t enjoy being with wet rags, grouches, whiners, and complainers. Instead of focusing on worries and problems, look at the brighter side of life and expect great things to happen. Be encouraging to others and endeavor to be a source of good vibes, inspiration, and joy.
Be interesting. Nobody likes to be with a bore. Boring people are those who are bored with themselves because there is nothing exciting in their lives. Be interesting and well-rounded by improving yourself every day. Learn about the latest news, trends, and developments worldwide. Expand your knowledge, interests, and social circles.
Remember names. The sweetest sound to any person is the sound of his own name. Remember names by association: for Julia, think Julia Roberts; for Napoleon, file Bonaparte. It helps to associate people with their unique physical characteristics big Bob, curly haired Carla, etc. Never assume that a person remembers your name; when you see someone you’ve met again, volunteer your name.
Praise generously. Be lavish with your praises and sparing with your criticisms. People love to be praised and appreciated. Praise them within hearing distance and behind their backs. Always look for the good in people and magnify them. Build people up instead of putting them down. Be careful, though, about insincere flattery.
Be sincere, courteous, and considerate. Sincerity is simply being honest and truthful. Avoid being pretentious. Show your trustworthiness by maintaining eye contact with the person you are talking to. Be courteous, respectful, and considerate. Consider how you would feel if you were in the other person’s shoes.
Develop friendships. Friendship must be nurtured for it to grow. Turn casual acquaintances into lifelong friends. Bond through activities like sports, going to the movies, watching concerts, attending art exhibits, etc. Learn to network and keep adding wonderful friends into your life.
Improve your communication skills. To interrelate effectively with people, you need good communication skills speech, proper diction, a wide vocabulary, good grammar, fitting gestures, and appropriate body language. Improve these skills by reading, learning new words, watching others and emulating the good things they do, and engaging in real life interaction.
Go the extra mile. When you do something special for someone, he will never forget you. That would put you in a special place in his heart that when you’d need him someday, he would be around to help. The world does operate on the Golden Rule – do to others as you would like them to do to you.
Be fun. Be open and adventurous to get more out of life. To have more fun, you must be more fun. Be game and daring. Be the life of the party, always shining, scintillating, and fun to be with. The world is a feast; when you feel lonely and alienated from people, you have only yourself to blame.
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