A sisterhood of hope
September 6, 2005 | 12:00am
It was a gathering of an inspiring bunch of women, a rah-rah sisterhood of breast cancer surivors who talked about their struggles – and triumphs – in battling the Big C.
Considering the hellish conditions these women went through, one would think that the lunch meeting at Mylk in Greenbelt 2 would have a somber mood, filled with whining and gloomy faces. Quite the contrary, for the place was actually bursting with life and laughter. Except for some telltale signs like close-cropped hairdos, it would be difficult for a bystander to tell which women did battle with– and bore the scars of cancer. In fact, breast cancer survivors even radiate an inner glow and unmistakable peace that are simply contagious.
"It’s not true that you lose your sense of humor when you suffer from breast cancer," said showbiz personality Bibeth Orteza, who was diagnosed in November last year (and had a mastectomy soon after that).
According to Bibeth, who had to endure days of chemotherapy and radiation treatment, she felt God so strongly while doing the simplest act, such as laboriously shampooing her hair in the bathroom in the hospital. "In a way, what happened was a gift in that you kinda know when you’re going and thus, are able to prepare. It also makes you value life more. Somehow, with my husband and family’s support, I felt snugly and warmly protected," said Bibeth, who is married to respected director Carlitos Siguion- Reyna.
Known to be outspoken and honest about her feelings, Bibeth further related her ordeal with the whole treatment process which was so painful that even the taken-for-granted act of breathing brought so much pain. A hush fell over the crowd as they listened to Bibeth recalling how she could only eat oatmeal for breakfast, lunch and dinner for eight days, and couldn’t even drink water during her radiation treatment.
Voice cracking with emotion, Bibeth said she knew of women who had lesser means and who didn’t have enough family support to have their treatment but who courageously faced their illness. Realizing that she had no right to whine about her predicament, she noted: "I’m only brave because I owe it to everyone else who are braver than me."
For former triathlete Day Day David, having been diagnosed with the disease a few years ago didn’t stop her from taking a positive view of life. While she’s not immune to depression, she noted that members of her family had a more difficult time coping with her sickness.
"I learned to count my blessings and I’m more grateful now," said Day Day, a former vegetarian who recently gave birth to a baby boy, Matteo. Her cancer was detected quite early, and quite accidentally at that. It was just a regular physical examination when she agreed to have a mammogram added to the series of tests as well. She decided to have a mastectomy on her left breast right away.
"It’s important not to be scared. It’s really much better to find out early than suffer the consequences. I’m quite lucky to have a very supportive family and friends," said Day Day, who had to wait for two years for the chemotherapy chemicals to wear off before she decided to get pregnant. Now, with a healthy baby boy and a loving husband, Day Day couldn’t be happier. While the threat of cancer could come back anytime, Day Day doesn’t let this control her life. She has been through the worst and knows she can bravely face future challenges that may come her way.
Like Day Day, Sheila San Pedro Cruz, a mother of two, also noted that her husband was more depressed than she was upon learning of her condition. "I’ve had benign cysts in both breasts for 15 years. Until one day, I felt a painful lump on my left breast. When I had it checked last November 2004, the doctors found that three out of 21 lymph nodes in my breast were positive for cancer," she related.
She underwent six cycles of chemo and 28 sessions of radiation for about six months to treat her Stage 2 cancer. Luckily for her, she didn’t really suffer much. "I even gained 17 pounds while undergoing treatment and people would think I wasn’t sick," Sheila laughed at the recollection. But like other patients, she went through bouts of depression. "There was a time when I didn’t want to go out. I asked my family not to tell anyone about my condition," she said. When she was undergoing treatment and her hair started falling off, her small kids started getting curious. "Since my husband is also a skinhead, I told my kids that I wanted to look like their dad," said Sheila, smiling. She finds herself lucky for having a doctor who acts like a coach and who continually encourages her to live her life to the fullest, and not fret in a corner.
Like other cancer survivors, this youthful-looking housewife is thinking of doing something to spread the word about the importance of early detection. For instance, she said she wants to make bumper stickers with the words "The best protection is early detection" and to distribute these to everyone.
"Of course, the fear of cancer coming back is always there. But I fear more for my kids and their future than I do for myself. When this happens, I just pray," she said.
Bibeth, Day Day and Sheila are just some of the many remarkable women who have discovered that they are capable of so much strength while faced with a deadly disease. Together with other survivors, they have stumbled upon what Bibeth refers to as "the gift of instantaneous friendship" since they all went through the same journey. It’s a special bond that holds them together and one that gives them enough reason to "seize the day" and live life to the fullest.
And this attitude is what other women – with or without breast cancer – will see come Sept. 25, Sunday, in the Silver Linings breast cancer forum at the Garden Ballroom of Edsa Shangri-La Hotel.
A pilot project of the I Can Serve Foundation founded by Kara Magsanoc-Alikpala, Silver Linings hopes to empower women with information and hope especially in matters dealing with the dreaded disease. From 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. on that day, participants will have a day of "inspiration, education and relaxation" with such lectures as Breast Cancer 101, raising funds for breast cancer, setting up hospice care, starting and sustaining a support group, to name some. Experts will discuss pertinent topics like carcinogenics, nutrition and proper diet, grief counseling, and how family members cope with the Big C. Other activities include qi gong, spiritual healing, as well as a wig demo and haircut, and imaging, among others.
Posted on a "gratitude wall" will be letters and artwork of breast cancer survivors. Participants will also be inspired by sharing sessions by breast cancer survivors and their experiences.
Expected to host the various activities are breast cancer survivors Bibeth Orteza, Martoni Fernandez and Cecille Alvarez; broadcast journalists Karen Davila and Ces Drilon; TV personalities Chiqui Roa, Cathy Tanco Ong and Cherie Gil; and Dr. Rachel Rosario. I Can Serve patient advocates and cancer doctors Diana Cua and Barbara Domingo will also hold free consultations that day. Rustan’s Cosmetics and Toiletries will also donate Essenses products for the early birds, while HSBC will help facilitate the registration of its cardholders. Singer Bituin Escalante will render an inspiring song at a sunset ritual which will close the event where participants will be asked to "commit to discover their silver linings."
According to Alikpala, herself a cancer survivor, Silver Linings is meant to dispell public ignorance about breast cancer. Silver Linings is just one way of telling people that yes, there is a cure for breast cancer and no, patients and survivors don’t need other people’s pity, only love and support.
"Once you have it [breast cancer], you are blessed with incredible calm and clarity of purpose," said Alikpala, a broadcast journalist who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1997. "Your achievements don’t mean much anymore. Status, wealth, religion, etc... all these don’t matter anymore when faced with the possibility of death. When I’m with fellow cancer survivors, I forget that I am a part of the rat race, but a member of the human race," she said.
Alikpala is aware that there are still many people who are hungry for information about the disease. This is why, apart from the Silver Linings forum, the foundation also has its "Ka Chat" counseling hotline (697-3942 and icanserve@yahoo.com) which is staffed by breast cancer survivors themselves. Every two years, the foundation comes out with the I Can Serve: A Network of People, Places and Services for the Philippine Breast Cancer Community, a book that lists resources for breast cancer survivors. The publication was made possible by a grant from Bristol Myers Squibb Philippines.
I Can Serve, established in 1999, has continually reached out to the public also via TV infomercials and numerous seminars and e-groups.
"We plan to produce a video for those who don’t have cancer and for those who have it, of course with the support of our sponsors and friends," she said, adding that there is a need for a study about breast cancer among Filipino women, especially since the Philippines is found out to have the highest incidence of breast cancer in Southeast Asia. Unfortunately, Alikpala added, with a meager budget of P2 million to P3 million for cancer research, the Department of Health can only do so much – and that doesn’t include the much-needed study on this particular kind of cancer.
Nonetheless, Alikpala and fellow breast cancer survivors all agree that love and service are what they can offer to the people. They know they can’t waste precious time sitting around and doing nothing. Like what Bibeth told the crowd, "I may not survive this but I will not die. I will just fade away..." Even if they do fade away, their bond of friendship – their special sisterhood – will stay on to inspire the world with remarkable love and courage.
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