A love that lasts a lifetime

Anthony and I had the pleasure of being invited to speak about our life and love story at our friends’ 25th wedding anniversary. Caleb and Grace Koo’s celebration was simple yet intimate. We felt that it was such a blessing to have the chance to assess our marriage once again in preparation for our talk and, in the process, found ourselves more in love. The Koos’ anniversary proved to us once again that when a couple puts their trust in Christ, beautiful things lie ahead and great adventures happen with a purpose. Caleb and Grace’s biggest success was raising two wonderful children, who spoke about their family experiences with much thankfulness. After our talk, Grace said that our talk’s message was something they needed to hear over again, much more so by their kids and young friends. Hope you can be refreshed with a sample of what we shared:

Marriage Is ...

We argued the other night in preparation for our sharing tonight. It wasn’t a very pleasant argument. Anthony slept on the floor. Buti na lang hotel room, mas komportable. After 12 years, we have yet to master the art of "holy and sanctified" argumentation and debate. Thank God for His assurance that He who began a good work in us would complete it! Yup, it’s comforting to know I will have a better spouse in the years to come! We welcome the process. As someone once said, "You can’t have a testimony without a test and you can’t have the real message in life without going through a mess."

So, if any of the couples here tonight are being tested or are in a mess, praise the Lord! A powerful story is unfolding. A testimony of life and love. This is what marriage means to us and we know many of you share and relate with these as well. For us, marriage is:

• Forgiveness. Not because it is convenient so we can move on, or deserved because there has been sufficient punishment or explanation.

• Mutual support. It is not a competition between spouses, or an expiration of one’s pursuits and individual growth and development after the "two become one."

• A major production. It means involving ourselves in a process worked on daily, not in a day.

• Pre-production. We thank God for family and church members who got us started on the right foot. It’s amazing – we’ve never witnessed a "lousy wedding" and yet all around are "not-so-pleasant marriages."

• The main event. Living the actual life together, building each other up (well, at least most of the time!).

• Post-production. When success isn’t as important as significance. When the children can no longer be an excuse for staying together. When we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary 13 years from now.

Not just production but reproduction! Four kids in five years. (Neither one of us knows how that happened!) But indeed they are gifts. It’s so amazing and humbling to realize how the quality of our marriage relationship today largely determines the quality of our children’s lives tomorrow. Don’t they just mirror the best and the worst in us?

• Both joy and sorrow. Anthony: No one can hurt me more than my spouse who knows me and has found me out. Maricel: And no one can give me more joy than my spouse who is intimately acquainted with me inside out. Thank God for the love of the Father that comforts us when either one fails, and stubbornly pursues us and transforms us for our joy and His glory!

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E-mail the author at mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph.