‘My son behaves differently in school’

Hi Maricel,

I currently reside in the US with my Indian husband and two kids. My eldest son is three-and-a-half years old and my second is seven months old. My eldest goes to pre-school. He is brought to and fetched from school by his dad as I go to work every day. My husband has a business of his own and works from home. It is his father who tends to his needs most of the time and I usually do the entertainiment activities with him at night and on weekends: reading, building Legos, taking him to the library, museum, etc..

Lately, we’ve been hearing from his teachers that he does not talk much in school (when he’s at home, it’s the exact opposite) and sometimes, when he’s being called, he completely ignores the teachers. His behavior in school is completely the opposite when he’s at home. I know he listens to his teachers because he relates to us most of the activities they do and he tells us new things that he would not have definitely learned from us.

There have been days when he would tell us that he does not want to go to his school or would say that he does not want to see his teacher. Whenever we ask him if he has been physically hurt, he would say no and we believe him. Nobody would dare do that in America because of fear of lawsuits. Do you think we should move to a school where the environment would be more appropriate for him? The other kids in his school do not seem to have a problem. Can you offer some insights on my child’s situation? – Concerned NJ mom

I understand your concern regarding your son, but I think that moving him to a new school because of his unexplained behavior will not solve your problem. It seems that there is not enough diagnosis to make a prognosis. What you have to do is probe deeper into what is preventing him to be his normal self in school. Perhaps he’s absorbing everything he’s learning or maybe he is still adjusting to school life.

After all, he’s only three-and-a-half years old. Maybe a visit to the school and more frequent chats with his teachers, and other key individuals in the school will help you discover the root of his behavior. Try also doing activities with your child’s classmates outside of school so that school does not become an unfamiliar place and the only means to develop friendships. You may also ask the advice of his teachers and perhaps even the principal as to how to understand your child’s behavior better.

Hope that helps.

Maricel

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This Dad Needs Your Advice

Can you help this dad? E-mail comments to: mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph.

Dear Ms. Maricel,

I have a 14-year-old son who wants to continue his schooling in the Philippines. He was born and raised here in the US, but he can speak Filipino fairly well. We always go home every year during his summer vacation, hence familiarity about our culture is no problem to him. What makes me apprehensive in sending him back to study in the Philippines is the peace and order we Filipinos worry about. However, since he is really adamant to continue his schooling back home, we are afraid that this may create problems in the future if we do not say yes to him. What will happen is I will be going back home with him while my wife will stay here in the US visiting us every year or we will visit her whenever it is convenient for all of us. By the way, he is our only child and the other reason why he wants to study in the Philippines is to be with his cousins. Do you think it is a good idea to let our son continue his schooling in the Philippines even to the point of us not being together all year round? My wife and I talked about this and we have no problem doing this. Any advice will be highly appreciated coming from you. – J. Dauz

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Seminar On Kids With Learning Disabilities

A seminar on "Equipping Children with Learning Disabilities" will be held on May 7 at the Breadcom Center, sixth level carpark, Shangri-La Edsa Plaza Mall. Speaker is Nancy Jessen, global developmental coordinator at the National Institute for Learning Disabilities, Virginia, USA.

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