Rejoicing in the time of grief

Three people who were dear to us passed away in the last two weeks. Since then, my heart has been drawn to look at life from a different perspective. There are countless gems hidden in the time of grief. One realizes that everything is temporary in this world. That material wealth may come in handy but in the end, the relationships we build are those that will truly stand the test of time. Bickerings and senseless ill feelings should really be resolved immediately, because there may never be a chance for it. I rejoice with those who are able to experience a sense of closure with their loved ones before they pass away. Having the chance to say their goodbyes leaves a joyful sorrow in the hearts of the ones who have to stay behind.

Something funny can happen even in a wake. Anthony and I decided to take Donny, our eldest son (who just turned four recently), to one of the wakes we attended. Initially, he was so behaved. Suddenly, after five minutes, he started figgeting, tinkering with all sorts of objects he could lay his tiny hands on, and kept on rattling in a loud voice. I tried my best to find out what was wrong with him as I was also getting embarrassed. Finally, when I had almost given up on him, I whispered to Anthony, "Hon, do you think Donny is autistic or maybe has ADHD?" I was so bothered for a while. After about 30 minutes, he settled down a bit (by that time, I was exhausted already). He went close to me and whispered, "Mama, I need to make poopoo," giving me his widest grin ever. I laughed so hard and was so ashamed of myself for not asking the basic questions just because I was so tired from his actions. I also felt so sorry for judging him and for the fact that he had to control his bowel for such a long time!

* * * Thanks To Our Breast Friends

Here’s a sad but inspiring update on the story of JM (he was featured here a few weeks ago).

Dearest Maricel, Rosanna, Marivic and Winny,

Thank you very much for sharing with my son, Josemaria Raphael, your breast milk. Thank you for being my breast friends, for all your care, prayers and generosity. Josemaria Raphael passed away last Jan. 31 at 4:05 p.m. He died peacefully in my loving arms and in the fatherly embrace of his daddy. God heard our prayers that in case He would take JM, let it be in a peaceful way as if he’s only sleeping in my arms and that we would all be together as one happy family. It all happened that way.

Let me share this special moment with you. JM’s eyes were wide open when I held him in my arms and in my husband’s embrace. God gave us one hour to talk to JM, to say our goodbyes. He was all smiles as we told him, "You will always be in our hearts ... Go to sleep now, baby ... we love you." Then we kissed him goodbye. JM then closed his eyes peacefully and without difficulty as if he was only sleeping. JM had a big smile when he died up to the wake (at Loyola Mem-Guadalupe) and interment (Manila Mem-Sucat). A lot of people were amazed at JM because he looked like a smiling doll, peacefully sleeping, so serene and happy.

We now have an angel in heaven. We are not grieving; instead, we’re rejoicing because our son is very happy in heaven. It is difficult to understand at first God’s plan, but by fully abandoning everything in God’s hand, and trusting in divine providence, there is peace, faith, hope and love.

Take care and thanks for everything.– Mater Santos

JM’s website: http://www.geocities.com/josemariaraphael.

Dear Mater,

You brought me to tears. You are so brave, I am so proud to know you.

JM must still be smiling on you from heaven, thanking God and saying that He couldn’t have chosen better parents for him. You have been such valiant parents, giving JM the strength that he needed to weather the storm. Well, there are no storms in heaven and, knowing God’s true kindness, He will allow heaven’s sunshine to shine upon both of you once more, in His time. – Rosanna

Although JM is now in heaven, Mater has committed to help the preemie babies in the nursery of PCMC. Rosanna, through her milk bank, is accepting milk. If you or anyone you know are a lactating mother, kindly e-mail me at bizwrks@attglobal.net so that we can help each other save lives through breastmilk. For those who would like to request for milk, Rosanna will gladly give you her supply as long as you can present to her a prescription from your neonatologist. Sources at the Breast Milk Bank are limited and she’d like to make sure that help is given to those whose lives depend on it, or who need the milk temporarily before their mothers can take over.

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Any more thoughts on grief? I’m just an e-mail away.