How not to be in a sex scandal
What you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your business. What you’re seen doing on the Internet becomes everyone’s business. You live in a Catholic country where sex is a more inflammatory issue than violence, corruption, injustice, and social inequality. Be circumspect in all your affairs.
Remember that consent of a willing adult “co-star” does not automatically include video rights. All partners must be informed of the presence of recording equipment. Everyone has the right to privacy, even if their public statements seem to indicate that they don’t want it.
Digital technology makes it ridiculously easy to disseminate information, particularly the embarrassing kind. Once it is out there, you can’t take it back. Be on your guard. Always conduct a sweep of the venue and check for hidden cameras. Confiscate mobile phones and other gadgets for the duration of the activity.
Establish that you do not wish to be “camcorded.” If possible, record the other party clearly saying, “I swear you are not being recorded.”
Be aware that the risk of exposure is real and high, not just something that adds to the thrill of the occasion.
The old school, analog way to prevent this sort of exposure is to turn off all the lights. Bad for the cinematography.
Mind your data security. Computers, cameras, mobile phones, external drives and other gadgets are stolen all the time. Encrypt your files.
Assign passwords, and have passwords for your passwords. Don’t be an idiot and use your name or birthdate as your code. Random numbers are more difficult to crack. Stop complaining that your passwords are “hard to remember.” They’re supposed to be.
Use voice-activated log-ins, retinal scans, biometrics if you can. Set up firewalls. If you are on shared connections, use stealth mode. Yes, security systems can be hacked into, but you don’t have to make it easy for the intruder.
Delete all sensitive files. Don’t just move them to the trash; what are you, nuts? If you work on a Mac, go to the Finder. There’s “Empty Trash” and “Secure Empty Trash.”
“Empty Trash” only erases the file name from the hard disk registry so the Finder or operating system does not see it. Nothing is erased; the data is intact and it can be recovered.
“Secure Empty Trash” writes over the data you wish to erase. This of course takes much longer. There should be a similar function on Windows.
“Secure Empty Trash” only overwrites the file once. The US Department of Defense requires writing over the data seven times. It should be pointed out that Defense Department computers and networks are not connected to the Internet. Most personal computers are. Once your video gets on the Internet, there will forever be an archive of it on some storage device somewhere. It will haunt you forever.
The Economist recently noted the discovery in southwestern Germany of what is probably the oldest human statue ever found. Carved from the tusk of a mammoth, it is about 35,000 years old and six centimeters tall. It portrays a naked woman with enormous breasts and hips. “A characteristic sign that a new medium is going to succeed is that it is exploited by pornographers,” The Economist says. It was true of sculpture 35,000 years ago, it was true of photography, and it’s true of the Internet.
If despite having taken all precautions you still get dragged into an Internet-based sex scandal, it is probably best to shut up. Protesting your innocence is like putting out fire with gasoline. Extend this advice to your partisans as well. Console yourself with the knowledge that the audience has a very short memory, and your horror will soon be overwritten by another, fouler one.
If your career strategy is to achieve a quick notoriety via the Internet, disregard all of the above.
* * *
Thanks to my security-conscious friends Grover, Kermit, and Bernard-Henri for the tutorial on deleting files. E-mail your comments and questions to emotionalweatherreport@gmail.com.
