Holy sushi! Batman takes to Japan streets

One of the more curious cases of comic book life seeping into reality is the presence of a real-life “Batman” taking to the streets of Japan in recent months.

Wearing a pretty convincing Batman getup (despite the summer heat) and maneuvering a pretty convincing three-wheeled Bat-trike through Chiba traffic — where he’s been video-documented by countless Japanese commuters — the arrival of Batman certainly augurs… something or other.

Maybe it’s time for Japan to get the crime fighter that it deserves… Maybe it’s time to get the comic nerds in a frenzy over Ben Affleck’s upcoming Batman flick…

Or maybe it’s just a sign that someone out there is bats**t crazy.

For whatever reason, Batman taking to the streets is not such a bad idea. I can already think of dozens of situations where a Batpod would be very useful in Metro Manila. 

• Overtaking trucks, pedicabs, kalesas and vendors plying Roxas Boulevard;

• Running down cab drivers who cut you off while making illegal left turns;

• Stopping road rage incidents between self-entitled Porsche owners and low-paid-therefore-corrupt traffic cops;

• Getting to movie premieres on time despite rush-hour traffic;

• Parking: now a piece of cake.

Of course, faux Batmen are a common sight in places like Times Square, New York, where every day an entire Justice League of America can be seen handing out flyers for Appleby’s and cheap electronics stores in the vicinity. You could say that the arrival of copycat Batmen is an expected consequence of adopting a disguise in the first place, as Bruce Wayne learned in the Christopher Nolan Dark Knight trilogy. But it’s peculiar how real-life citizens have begun to take on the actions — and identities — of onscreen characters in recent times.

I’m not just talking about cosplayers in Tokyo or dress-up geeks at Comic-Con. There are actually people out there who think they can fly — witness the number of people who have plunged off mountainsides in South America, wearing nothing but synthetic batwings and a portable video camera, only to end up in a mangled bat-heap. Or take the loony people who decide to bike-parachute, doing gnarly turns mid-air — another crazy stunt that has led to many an unsuccessful landing. Or watch the plethora of “PARKOUR FAIL” videos on YouTube to remind yourself again and again: kids, don’t try this at home.

Why do people all of a sudden think they can disregard basic laws of physics? Is it all the Mission: Impossible movies they’ve watched? Is it Tom Cruise’s fault? Or have we finally reached a point where the lines between reality and entertainment have blurred like Justin Bieber’s vision during a Miami Police sobriety test? It’s not enough to tell people to “get a life” these days, because they will, more often than not, opt for somebody else’s life.

Which brings us to “Chibatman,” as he’s been dubbed by the Wall Street Journal and others. Little is actually known about his true identity, though Twitter shots started turning up three years ago. Some sources say he’s a 41-year-old Japanese welder who put together his own Bat trike. Others note that, under Japanese law, riding a trike doesn’t require a safety helmet — unlike riding a motorcycle — so Bat ears are allowed, as well as a trademark black cape.

An interview with the alleged masked man (via Japanese social media Naver and Vipper) claims he even commutes to work in his Bat costume — which would kind of make the hidden identity thing a little difficult to maintain, unless he works at a theme park (or passes out flyers in Times Square).

The amusing thing about Chibatman is that he’s not exactly hell on wheels: videos of the would-be Caped Crusader show him stopping patiently at red lights and obeying posted speed limits (after all, this is polite and disciplined Japan we’re talking about). Even those who managed to shoot video of Japan’s Batman apparently had to slow down a number of times to allow him to catch up and get back in frame. Holy Sunday Driver!

Will Manila someday spawn its own version of Chibatman? Complete with retooled pedicab decorated with a chrome team of horses on the front fender, “Ah-oooh-ga” horn, and “Basta Batman si Sweet Lover” legend on the back?

Bahala na si Batman.