The measure of a man

Since I now belong to a demographic wherein I can no longer claim to be a “young adult,” my wife has told me that I need to finally upgrade my wardrobe to something that approximates my physical age.

As I bid adieu to my collection of ribbed, low cleavage and superhero shirts, my wife sent me and my yaya on a mission to T.M. Lewin — a London-based luxury shirting brand in SM Aura — to secure a “proper dress shirt.” During that visit, brand consultant Vicki Abary and general manager of Vogue Concepts, the retail operators of T.M. Lewin in the Philippines, Louella Scott, upgraded my sartorial knowledge (including the meaning of the word “sartorial”) to better appreciate the requirements of a well-fitting dress shirt, how to match your dress shirt with a tie and the importance of the dapper-inducing pocket square. 

RJ LEDESMA: I understand that you don’t carry the usual sizes of small, medium and large because the dress shirts here are “almost tailor fit.” So what type of sizes do you carry so I know which ones I will need to wear with a girdle?

T.M. LEWIN REPRESENTATIVE: We have four different fits: ultra fitted, regular, fully fitted and slim fit.

I see. So the type of dress shirts you should get will depend on your diet?

(Laughs) It depends on your aesthetic. 

Ganyan ba? So dapat gwapo ako to pull off a slim fit?

Depends on how active your sex life is (laughs)!

(Dirty Old Man [DOM] representative: I’ll have several of your slim fits, please. I’ll pay for it with my gold rings.)

The fully fitted is the most fitted, followed by the slim fit.

Hmm, so I can also choose dress shirts based on my audacity?

The more conservative clients want the regular fit, which is more smart and roomy.

Really? How many rooms does it have?

It’s more comfortable especially around the chest and the tummy.

And what is the difference between the regular fit and the slim fit? Is the slim fit like a one-bedroom apartment?

Most Pinoys prefer the slim fit. If you compare the regular with the slim fit, there is a two-inch difference.

(DOM representative: I’ve got those two inches where it counts.)

Those two inches are (located) from the side of the chest to the tummy. But the more conservative clients choose to wear things that are more baggy (regular), while those who want wear a modern (style), choose slim to fully fit (dress shirts).

And I’m guessing ultra fit is something you choose to wear only if you are a superhero.

Hindi naman. The first thing we do for our customers is to measure them (so that they can get their correct size).

Just make sure to measure me where it counts or else my wife might have you arrested. Should you buy a dress shirt that is one size bigger than your regular size if you think you might put on a couple of pounds in the future? Or should you just buy a tighter girdle?

We would not recommend it. Men normally look bigger (already) just because they keep getting the bigger size when they are (actually) wearing the wrong size. If you wear the right size, you will look better.

Are there other things you should look for in your dress shirt to know it’s a good fit? I made the mistake of getting a dress shirt that was a bit too tight on my chest. The shirt becomes problematic when the air conditioning is on full blast.

For a well-fitting dress shirt, the sleeves should start half an inch below your shoulder bone. For the sleeve length, the dress shirt should be a half inch longer than your wrist bone. Finally, when it comes to the collar, you should be able to put two fingers on the inside…

Hold on please, I have some impressionable readers who follow this column.

…Of your collar to make sure that it is comfortable. You want to look polished, not look like you’re choking (laughs).

(DOM representative: Not unless you’re into that.)

Are there also dress shirts that go well with a particular skin tone?

Generally, anybody looks good in a white shirt because you can always dress it up with your tie, pocket squares and so on and so forth. Having said that, we at T.M. Lewin are experts at pairing different patterns and colors together — like putting together a checkered shirt with a striped tie.

You mean you can do that without exploding? Are there any details that you look for in a dress shirt that level up your pogi points? 

The details on the shirt make all the difference. For example, I think it’s more sartorial to have double cuffs versus single cuffs on a dress shirt. I think it’s more elevated and stylish. 

(DOM representative: Especially if you have the dress shirt unbuttoned down to your navel.)

Unlike women who can wear jewelry, earrings, necklaces, rings, there are very few ways that men can “accessorize” their look. 

(DOM representative: Tell me about it.  God knows my nipple rings haven’t been working out.)

But you can wear neckties, belts, pocket squares, cuff links, tie clips and armbands (to keep the sleeves of your dress shirt in place when you put it over your jacket).

Thank God! And I thought that the only accessories men were allowed to have were a clutch bag, a fanny pack, and a toupee. Are there any rules of thumb when it comes to choosing neckties? Should it have polka dots? Should it be plaid? Should it have a picture of your favorite cartoon character?

You’d want to choose a good 100-percent silk necktie as the material is particularly important when you make a tie. Have you encountered a tie that has a nice little dimple (after you‘ve tied it around your neck)? That dimple comes with the good quality of the tie.

(DOM representative: I’ve got a good dimple too, but I cannot show it because of a court order.)

Nowadays there are two type of ties, the standard traditional tie that is three and a half inches (in width) and the slim modern ties that is three inches (in width). The slim ties are usually worn by the younger ones.

I hope the terms “younger ones” is defined more as a mindset rather than the amount of hair one has left on the scalp. And how do you pair a dress shirt with a tie that won’t incur the wrath of the Fashion Police?

If you are new to experimenting, you can choose a color for the tie that is from the same color family as the dress shirt. For example, a blue checkered shirt with a blue striped tie. Just don’t clash it.

Unless you want to be beaten by leopard-print batutas. How about if you are wearing a white or solid dress shirt, can you wear any color or design for your necktie?

It depends on where you are going or who your audience will be. For example, if you work in the banking industry or are attending a formal affair, you might want to wear a tie that is a bit “toned down” — the traditional stripes or gingham or plaid — while polka dot patterns are okay for those who have…

A mid-life crisis?

(Laughs) …Or for fun affairs like weddings. Some people also like wearing pink ties because it gives them something more sartorial. 

Finally we get to the enigmatic pocket squares. When I see anyone who has a pocket square in his jacket’s breast pocket, I feel as if his sophistication has leveled up by a thousandfold. What is it about the pocket square that makes a man more pogi beyond legally acceptable limits?

I think this is something that European men, and British men specifically, started as an extra accessory to “show” their personality. It adds a little color and style to their sartorial look. It also tells people that you have an eye for detail.

I always thought that pocket squares were relocated handkerchiefs so that it would be much quicker to reach for it when you needed to blow your nose. Are there tips to choosing pocket squares? 

For more traditional clients, the pocket square has to be from the same color family as your necktie. But for the modern ones, the pocket square is of a different color from the necktie because it will make them stand out.

And I could never quite figure out just how you stuff those pocket squares into your pocket. Do you just shove them in there and hope whatever sticks out from the pocket looks artfully disheveled? Or do you need a degree in Origami to fold pocket squares?

There are actually several techniques. The first is the basic square fold.  (Note: The folks at T.M. Lewin demonstrated how to perform these folds.  I will attempt to describe each step in writing. However, as a person with piss-poor spatial skills, this attempt may cause some disorientation.) The first step is to fold the pocket square into a rectangle, then do another fold in the middle to make it a square, fold in two one more time then insert into your breast pocket. The other is the flower fold. The first two steps are similar to that of the basic square. After that, fold the top corner to the center of the square, then take the left and right corners of the pocket square and fold it inwards as well. Then stuff it in the pocket and pull out the “triangle” sticking out from the pocket square until the design resembles something like a triangle. (My goodness, I think I may have popped a blood vessel trying to articulate the flower fold.)

Now the most sartorial of folds is the triangle fold. You fold one corner of the pocket square in so that you get two overlapping triangles. Fold one side of the triangle in followed by the other side.  Finally, place the pocket square in your breast pocket.

Yaya, were you taking a video of this with your cellphone? You know I won’t be able to do this by myself without getting a nosebleed. And what is the end goal of wearing these slim-fit, double-cuffs-with-tie-clip dress shirts and flower pocket squares? Aside from posting my outfit of the day on Instagram? 

It tells people that you care about your appearance. And the better you dress for yourself, then most likely the more respect you gain from others in any situation.

Then I’m glad my yaya is around to help me achieve the desired effect.

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For comments, suggestions or used low cleavage shirts, please email ledesma.rj@gmail.com or visit www.rjledesma.com. Follow @rjled on Twitter and @rjled610 on Instagram.