Big men in small clothes

My 13-year-old daughter and I were on an escalator, directly behind a big man. His shirt must have been purchased many, many pounds ago because the fabric was straining to contain his midsection and was barely holding together at the seams. We could very well see his spare tire from behind, threatening to break free at any moment and his short sleeves constricting blood flow to his triceps that had gone pale compared to his forearms. My daughter had that look of pity on her face when she whispered, “Mom, I see big people in small clothes!” 

Curious, I later asked her, “Why do you think they wear small clothes?”

“I don’t know,” she said. â€œMaybe people feel bad if they have to buy bigger sizes so they don’t.” 

I said, “What about big women? Do you think they wear tight clothes because it makes them feel sexier or thinner?”

“But it’s not at all sexy when you see their treasures bulging everywhere. I think men keep wearing their small clothes because they’re lazy to shop,” she said.

Big men may find shopping for clothes in this country frustrating because there are very few stores that carry big sizes. I find that more local shops and brands have addressed the needs of plus-sized women, but I have yet to see them do the same for big and tall men. 

During the summer, I had to shop for a big and tall friend whose size is 4XL. There are very few places outside the US that cater to men his size, as far as I know. It was my first time to enter a Big and Tall men’s shop and I was surprised at how stylish their merchandise is. I spent hours looking through casual and dress shirts, suits, jeans, shorts, sportswear, underwear, shoes — name it, they carry it, and in the latest of styles. They carry their own Rochester Big and Tall brand aside from brands like Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Lacoste, Michael Kors, Tommy Bahama, Tommy Hilfiger, Paul and Shark, and Facconable. They carry waist sizes from 38 to 64 and shoes from size 8 to 20.

Now I know how big men like Today Show’s Al Roker, the late Luciano Pavarotti, or rapper Cee Lo Green can look stylish and hip: it’s because they have access to stores like these. If not, then imagine how highly-skilled their tailors are. Take the late Winston Churchill or Vogue editor at large (literally) Andre Leon Talley: they are gigantic, but with great tailoring, they look like a million dollars.

Nobody wants to be overweight. Most of the time, will power is not enough to combat weight gain especially in cases where genetics, hormonal imbalance or similar medical conditions are involved. It always takes time and lots of effort through diet and exercise to get to a healthy weight zone. But there is no reason to put off looking good until you have reached your target weight.

It is understandable that people hold off on purchasing clothes that fit well on their weight-loss journey for financial reasons, but who doesn’t want to look good and be comfortable in the process? It is no surprise that it’s mostly men who choose to suffer the pinch of tight clothes that their girth has literally outgrown. It must be the bane of shopping that gets them stuck in clothes three sizes too small. That, or maybe the optimism that they’ll lose that beer gut once they manage to cut down on beer consumption — whenever that may be.

What’s important is to accept your body for what it is right now. This leads to a healthier self-image. Even if you want to lose weight, make peace with your current size and move forward from here. While it is essential to pursue a healthier lifestyle, focusing completely on your weight can lead to self-loathing and depression, and depression doesn’t motivate healthy changes.  While you may have been lighter several months or years ago (and may someday weight that much again), if it doesn’t fit you now, don’t wear it. According to men’s fashion blogger Aaron of iamalpham.com, here are fashion tips for overweight men:

Wear well-fitted clothes. Well-fitting doesn’t mean tight; it means tailored to your body. Tight clothing only emphasizes parts that you want to camouflage. 

Don’t wear clothes that are way too big. On the other hand, wearing lose clothes to hide bulges only makes you look bulkier. You need to avoid excess fabric, which adds volume to the body.

Wear only vertical stripes. Stay away from horizontal stripes that widen your girth.

Do not wear baggy or pleated pants/slacks/jeans. They put extra fabric on the crotch area, which only accentuates the belly. Stay with flat front pants that provide no extra bulk or distractions.

Wear regular rise pants. Regular rise pants sit on your natural waistline. Low-rise pants sit lower at the hips and make your legs look shorter and stumpier.  They also cause muffin tops — love handles drooping down and causing the waistband to roll down. When you bend forward, low-rise pants tend to ride down behind, often exposing what we call the plumber’s crack. High-rise pants come up over the belly and tend to emphasize the lower torso pouch, making your belly look bigger than it is. 

Stay away from skinny jeans or pants that are narrow or taper at the ankle. You want to balance your upper body proportions to your lower body and a big belly becomes more prominent when skinny jeans accentuate thin legs. Stay with straight-legged pants.

Don’t wear clunky shoes/bulky sneakers. You need to create that visual streamline from head to toe.  You need slim shoes that are sleeker in construction to create the illusion of length so you appear taller and slimmer.

Wear dark, solid colors. Stay away from loud colors and bold patterns. The louder the color and the bigger the pattern, the bigger it is going to make you look.

Wear lighter-colored pants if you are top-heavy. Choose khaki or light gray pants with dark-colored shirts to balance your appearance. Dark shirts will make your belly look smaller. Pair them with light-colored pants for that visual streamline.

The salesperson at the Big and Tall store taught me how to figure out the right fit for big men. Find an article of clothing — shirt, pants, suit — that fits your biggest body part perfectly, and then have a good tailor alter the rest. The trick now is finding a good tailor. 

I swear by one who has done all my alterations for years and have come up with excellent workmanship each time. I’ve tried many and have been happy only with this one. The Sewing Room and Alterations Specialist at Corinthian Hills is foolproof. If you need a good tailor for made-to-measure clothes please go to Ascot Chang for impeccable tailoring. If you need one with lower price points but comparable workmanship, try Abdul Dimaporo’s The Manila Haberdasher and you cannot go wrong.

Dressing for bigger guys is the same as dressing for everyone else. You may have a tougher time finding clothes, but they are out there. Size shouldn’t be an excuse for not looking your best. 

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Thank you for your letters.  You may reach me at cecilelilles@yahoo.com.