Dressed to thrill

There are only a few instances where it is acceptable for grown men to wear costumes: During a Sunday variety show production number. During Halloween. And maybe during the Oblation run. 

Even if I have had limited success in my own homemade costume of a tuwalya (towel) slash cape, a shiny yellow belt, a pair of galoshes, some body oil and a Brazilian wax before I was stopped by the fashion authorities.

However, there is one who appears to have had more success than me in the field of costume fashion: Alodia Gosiengfiao. 

For those who did not squeal upon reading her name, allow me to quote verbatim from the “Alodianism” Facebook accounts that is dedicated to promoting “world peace through the powers of her beauty and charm.” (Seriously.) 

“I worship the beauty of the goddess Alodia. I will only look at her beauty and only adore her. She’s my passion and my inspiration. I will abhor people who are against her beauty. I will show the world that only the goddess has the right to discriminate beauty. The goddess is THE goddess, I will do anything that she commands.”

(We thank these fans for their unswerving loyalty to the Alodianism. We also ask that they pay a visit to a DSWD psychiatrist.) 

To say that 22-year-old Alodia — one of the hosts and brand ambassadors of the Animax channel — has an almost cult-like following is an understatement. (I have a cult following as well. That’s why I am always in hiding). Aside from having over 180,000 fans on Facebook and four million page views of her Deviantart web page, Animax has asked her to kindly tell her fans to stop sending messages to the website which threatens to crash because of too much traffic (Alodia, you traffic violator, you.) 

After cordoning off thousands of DOMs, No Girlfriends Since Birth (NGSBs), and any male with an existing temporary restraining order (TRO) from the interview location, I was able to grill Alodia on the questions befitting a woman who has won several awards for dressing up in costumes. Such as: Can playing dress-up as several costume characters cause schizophrenia? What weapons do you use to take down your stalkers? And most importantly, what will you be wearing this Halloween?

Getting Your Game On

RJ LEDESMA: For the woefully ignorant out there, what do they mean by “cosplay”? Is this some sort of new age movement? A fraternity? Another government faction? And what makes it different from wearing a costume?   

ALODIA: With costumes, you just wear them. But in “cosplay,” you have to act out the character. Cosplay is short for “costume role play,” which originated from Japan. Most of the time you need to research about their gestures, their facial expressions, and even their tone of voice.

My wife thinks that I do a particularly good impression of the Incredible Hulk — the short temper, the ripped pants, the emotional intelligence and all.

So cosplay is really like your very own production number. Or you can go as a group.  

So it’s like That’s Entertainment with superpowers!

Ano yun? (Laughs)

Um, sorry, generation gap right there (and somewhere in Broadway Centrum, Kuya Germs weeps). Tell me about your secret origin: How did a mild-mannered, bespectacled young girl like yourself end up becoming the idol of a million gajillion salivating fanboys and a bane to costureras (seamstresses) worldwide?

Well, I’m proud to say that I’ve always been a geek!

(The squeals of a million gajillion salivating fanboys ring in the air: “My life is vindicated!”)

I have been a geek ever since Super Mario Brothers on the Family Computer.

I am a couple of geek generations removed from you. I’ve been geeking out since Donkey Kong on the Atari.

I started cosplaying back in 2003 when I was still 15 years old.

Ah, to be young, idealistic and protected by the appropriate laws.

I learned cosplay from an online forum on anime. They told us that there was a “cosplay” competition and that we had to dress up in costume from a certain video game. 

So you grew up enjoying video games more than Barbie dolls? Just how much of a geek were you?

Well, I prefer to go National Bookstore and hardware stores than to clothing shops. (Laughs)

(A million gajillion fanboys start congregating in National Bookstore and hardware stores nationwide. But the clothing shops remain safe for the general public.)

The Geek is Within You

What is big appeal of “cosplay” for you? Aside from traveling abroad for free to compete in cosplay competitions? Aside from earning millions of pesos from lucrative endorsement deals? Aside from the adulation of a million gajillion fanboys whose rooms have shrines where their action figures are kneeling in front of your image?

I am also into fashion and makeup and the arts. And I really love video games! So cosplay is a fusion of all my hobbies. 

Wow, I didn’t realize that you could find makeup in hardware stores. And do you have a favorite video game? Because several hundred million gajillion fanboys want to know.

I have a lot of video games that I like: Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, then Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Call of Duty. Right now, I am currently playing Modern Warfare 2.

I didn’t even get past the first level of Super Mario Brothers. 

(In a show of tribal dominance, Alpha-male fanboys start flashing their calloused thumbs and forefingers to try and impress Alodia with their years of experience with a video game console.)

Careful, Alodia, you don’t now where those calloused fingers have been. Do you have a favorite anime (Japanese comic series)?

The last one I read was Death Note. Some Naruto. I also like Akazune Chacha (Red Riding Hood Chacha), the anime, because I find it really funny!

I never got past Voltes V, unfortunately. I still know the lyrics to the song. I even still have the unlicensed underwear.

Then I used to watch Pokemon! (Laughs) I used to collect Pokemon cards and I even used to compete (in Pokemon card games)!

Dear Lord, you are a geek with XX chromosomes. God only produced limited editions of people like you.

(Laughs) That’s what everyone says and that’s what I say. I think I am a guy in a girl’s body. 

We can get that verified by trained medical experts. So do not be fooled by those cosplaying doctors. How do you decide on which character you want to cosplay? Is it your own whim? By popular demand? By divine intervention?

The characters I play are those that I really like. One of the characters I played was the character Lili from the video game Tekken (a fighting game series — RJ’s note). But I really need to get in touch with the character before I can cosplay them.

How do you get in touch with the character? Do you read up about the character’s profile on the Internet? Do you enter a meditative (REM) Rapid Eye Movement state while playing a video game so you can interact with the character in a third level dream? Or do you go out to the hardware store and find some hapless, willing geeks that you can beat up?

Sometimes I “get” the character from their costumes or I learn about the character if they have a very colorful background. Or I just “see” myself in that character. Like if they are “happy,” “bubbly” or “giggly” and stuff. (Giggles)

Right now it sounds like you are channeling Pokemon.

My favorite cosplay character is the Baroness from G.I. Joe. She has a black leather outfit with long black hair and glasses. It’s really cool because it’s easy to move in the costume and you can look sexy without looking too revealing.

(A million gajillion mesmerized, salivating fanboys scream in unison: “Go, Joe!”)

Let’s stop creating these mental images of you in the Baroness costume, Alodia, before these fanboys do something that violates both national and religious laws. How do you prepare yourself before you cosplay before a big audience? Do you have a mantra to calm your nerves? Do you binge on coffee and sods to give yourself a caffeine high? Does Freddie Roach give you a pep talk?

You really have to psyche yourself up because some characters need to have “high energy” while some characters have to be “gothic.”

I’m surprised that you haven’t developed schizophrenia with all the characters you’ve cosplayed. Is there some sort of training regimen that you undergo before competition? Like a special diet? Or exercise? Or do you purse your lips and make googly eyes for hours on end in front of the mirror?

(Laughs) Yes, yes, I practice in front of the mirror. You need to know how to look good in front of the mirror. Because during cosplay events, photographers will be taking your shots from all angles. At least when you practice in front of the mirror, you will have an idea of how those shots will look like.

I practice looking good in front of the mirror at all angles for several hours a day. But as much as I practice, I still can’t seem to make my six-pack abs come out. Allow me to phrase the next question in the most PG-manner possible: In the book Why Men Don’t Have A Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes, women employ biological gender signals of attraction that cause men to go into seizures. And in most of your pictures — where you have mastered the doe-eyed look, the pouty lips, the overall air of feminine delicacy — you are able to project you gender signals more powerfully than most telecommunications companies. How do you practice these looks?

It really depends on the character. If I think the character is supposed to be cute, you widen your eyes and pout. If you want to create that sexy look, you have to look maangas (boastful). You can also do your research in magazines. (Laughs)

I think most of these fanboys have done extensive research with those type of magazines. Speaking of which, I am sure that you have your share of obsessed, stalker-like fans…

(A million gajillion of them gleefully raise their hands and expose the images of Alodia tattooed along their 52-inch waistlines.).

…And you also have fans who misbehave because they did not take their yayas with them to cosplay events. How do you handle these types of people? Do you bring along mace? Do you have a black belt in several martial arts? Do your costumes come with superpowers as well?

My mom is always around so they stay at bay. (Laughs)

Ah, yes, Mrs. Gosiengfiao. Your number one fan, your manager and your personal bodyguard.

There was one bad experience that I had where someone tried to take an unflattering picture of me, but my mom caught him. The guy was nanginginig (shaking) and she had him delete the picture.

I am sure your mom would have gone all Modern Warfare 2 all over his butt if he didn’t. How do you get financing for your elaborate costumes? Does it come from video game companies? Overeager fans? Or the Gosiengfiao trust fund?

(Laughs) My mom used to fund my costumes. But when I turned 17, she said it was getting too costly, so I had to stop cosplay. That didn’t stop me, though. I would keep my baon (allowance) for myself to make ipon (save up) for my next cosplay!

Cosplay before ulcers, I always say! And you made a living out of the cosplay? Does it take care of your Pag-Ibig, Philhealth and SSS as well?

Well, I’m a professional cosplayer — I do it full-time. It’s really fun and I get paid for what I love doing. I used to think cosplay was only a hobby and then after college I would move on to real life. 

I have been out of college for 15 years and I am still waiting for real life to kick in. So who do you see as you biggest competition in the cosplay world? 

My sister Ashley. (Laughs)

If there are any catfights between both of you, I know a million gajillion people who would like front row tickets.

Level Up

Alodia, this next question may cause a million gajillion heart attacks, but it does require closure: Do you have a boyfriend?

Secret nalang! (Laughs)

Good answer. If you did have a significant other, we fear for attempts on his life by geeks using their Hulk hand boxing gloves and their plastic Wolverine claws. But for the sake of hoping against hope, what do you look for in a man? His mastery of Modern Warfare 2? An encyclopedic knowledge of manga characters? His stitching skills?

Anything normal. 

Unfortunately a million gajillion fanboys do not fall into that category.

He doesn’t have to do cosplay. And even if he isn’t so good at video games, that’s okay. I can beat him up.              

(A million gajillion geeks plead: “Beat me up! Beat me up!”)

So what is next for you? Local showbiz? Hollywood? An appearance on the cover of Uno magazine? 

Anything goes! I’ll do anything fun. I’ll try it out, I might end up liking it. Just nothing super sexy. (Laughs)

Then you can appear in Uno dressed as Pokemon. What is your next challenge in the cosplay world? Do you plan to cosplay a more challenging character, perhaps? The White Queen from X-Men? A 300-foot robot? Kris Aquino?

Well, sometime in the future, I really do plan to do a robot costume as well! 

And you can save the world from being invaded by cosplaying aliens from the Bozania. Finally, the most important question of this interview is: What costume will you be wearing for Halloween? 

I have been thinking of that for the past few days. I don’t know which costume I should wear. That’s my problem. (Laughs)

I know what those million gajillion fanboys are thinking right now, Mrs. Gosiengfiao. Please have them put under house arrest. 

* * *

Visit Alodia’s websites at www.Alodia Gosiengfiao.com or www.Facebook.com/AlodiaGosiengfiao. You can also visit www.animax-asia.com.