Remember Tetchie?

The ‘80s. We had Pong Pagong on Batibot. We had Joey de Leon on T.O.D.A.S. And we had Tetchie Agbayani in Playboy. Yes, the ‘80s were memorable times.

July of 1982 was a particularly memorable month for me. I still remember being a young lad, with nary a hair protruding from my erogenous areas, and sifting through stacks of dress shirts and boxer shorts in my dad’s closet to unearth the treasure that was his well-hidden Playboy stash slotted in-between the folded pairs of pants (Where do you think I learned to hide my own collection?). And for the month of July, it was not another melanin-challenged model with bleached blonde hair and a pair of artificial satellites gracing the cover. Rather, it was a sun-drenched morena posing snake-like on top of a bangka and dressed in an ill-fitting reptilian print bathing suit (they should have fired the stylist; the bathing suit just kept on falling off). But before I could leaf through the pages of the magazine, my dad found me hidden inside the closet, dragged me out by the ear, took out his belt and yelled, “Is this what they teach you on Batibot!?”

Twenty-seven years later, I was finally able to slot in an interview with a woman whom I endured several hundred belt whippings for. Prior to the interview, I spent several sleepless nights sneaking out of my bedroom and doing intensive research on her Playboy appearance online. Unfortunately, I could no longer had access my dad’s Playboy collection; he has since booby-trapped his closet. (And no, Dad, you can’t come with me to the interview. Hmph.) Thanks for granting me the interview Ma’am Tetchie; the belt whippings were well worth it.

Thank You Papang

PHILIPPINE STAR: Ma’am Tetchie, it is truly an honor. I will not try to blush, grovel or have childhood flashbacks of belt-whipping in your presence. When you posed for Playboy back in the ‘80s, was that a logical career decision for you to make? Not that any of us are complaining over that career decision.

TETCHIE AGBAYANI: When I did Playboy, there weren’t too many career options available. And I was entering this very huge, fascinating, but also very bizarre business. After the beauty contests (1978 Ms. Thomasian, 1978 Binibining Pilipinas where she won she won best in swimsuit, Ms. Close Up Smile and Ms. Photogenic and the 1979 Mutya ng Pilipinas as “Ms. Tourism,” for all you rabid beauty contest scholars out there — R.J.), I started ramp modeling then I decided to make the leap to acting. I did my first movie (That would be Pepeng Shotgun in 1981 with Rudy Fernandez if you want to complete your Tetchie Agbayani movie library — R.J.) where I was the leading lady. I was in the business, but I was just meandering along. I also felt that I was not getting the break that I needed much because I didn’t have any relatives who were in the business. It was getting really frustrating.

So I was talking to my manager at that time, Franklin Cabaluna (a.k.a. “Papang”), over the Holidays and shared with him my angst about how much I still wanted to do and to prove in the business, but that I was not getting the break that I needed. While we were in his family home in Ilocos, I was flipping through Papang’s Playboy magazine collection — he has all the issues from the very start — and noticed that they all had Caucasian women on the covers. 

Maybe Papang can invite me over to his family place some time. At least leafing through his collection doesn’t lead to corporal punishment.

And I said, “Papang, why do they always put Caucasian women on the cover? There are a lot of beautiful Asian women as well.” I told him, “If Playboy ever comes to the Philippines, I will pose for them. Tingnan natin, magugulantang sila (They’ll see. They are in for a rude awakening).”

And gulantang they would all soon be, Ma’am Tetchie; gulantang they would all soon be.

I was just speaking my mind at the time, but I must have declared it with so much emotion. A few months later, I was in Hong Kong en route back to Manila, and I called Papang to ask if I would have work when I get back home. Papang said, “Remember what you told me over the Holidays? About Playboy? Well, they’re in Manila and they want to meet with you.” I thought, Oohhh, boy. “No way!” I told him, “I was just joking, Papang!” It was just a spur of the moment thing. There’s no way I could pose nude. (RJ’s thoughts: Don’t let us down, Papang, especially since thousands of Filipino men are counting on you.)

“Listen, you won’t lose anything,” Papang said. “When you get back to Manila, let’s meet them in Philippine Plaza. You don’t have to commit, you just meet with them.” So I hesitantly said yes. When I met up with them, I was determined to turn it down. But when I met the photographer, Herbert Hesselman, they (the representatives of Playboy’s German edition) were very business-like. They told me what they needed from me and I said if I hypothetically accepted this project, I would have three conditions. Number one: nothing is to be painted on my body. Because I heard from some menfolk say that some Playmates say certain body parts are pinker that usual.

Hay naku, I told my dad to stop talking about his conspiracy theories.

Number two: I have freedom to pose whatever way I want. And number three: I will do my own hair and makeup. They agreed with all the conditions. Maayos silang kausap (They were very straightforward to talk with). 

Those Germans are just way too efficient. What made you finally decide to do the pictorial? Was it for experimentation? Was it for love of country? Were you trying to make a point? Because many of us appreciated the point you were making.

Since this Playboy was the German edition, I thought it would only come out in Germany and not in the Philippines. When I said yes, I thought of myself as a model and a model’s tool is her body. Here was work being offered to me from an international magazine that I was attracted to come out in and it just happened to be that it was Playboy. I felt that, as a model, if you have a good job offer, why shouldn’t you take it? It was work, after all.

And, again, we do appreciate the body of work that you’ve done.

I also thought, this is Playboy but I won’t be offending the sensibilities of people in this country because it wouldn’t come out here. This was probably a safe offer to take. And it was a job like any other job. It just happens to be that instead of modeling clothes, you don’t model anything. That’s much harder. With clothes, you can use a lapel or a cape as props for posing. It’s harder to model without any props on your body.

I would argue that a rug-full of chest hair is a prop.

I was also at a point in my life — I was 21 then — where I wanted to establish my own individuality, and make my own decisions.

And many of us appreciate your expression of your individuality.

Bunny Goes Tropical

Why was Playboy in the country in the first place? Did Playboy have spies lurking around Papang’s house? Did Hugh Hefner pick up on your telepathic cries for help? Did my dad write Playboy a letter?

Originally, Herbert flew to Asia to do a seven-page spread of the woman of Asia for the German edition of Playboy. They got in touch with Papang because they knew he was an avid collector of Playboy and was connected to the mass media. 

Sigh. When will I be getting that phone call from Playboy?

They asked Papang for models from the Philippines whom they could use as model. He brought reams of pictures of his different talents to Herbert. When Herbert was done with all the pictures, Papang was laughing because all the pictures he had chosen were mine! They were just taken at different times of my life — when I had short hair, long straight hair and the ‘70s frizzy hairstyle. So Herbert decided to scrap the women of Asia feature and just focus on me.

It must have been the frizzy hairstyle that sealed the deal.   And did you decide on the concept for the shoot? You came across as a “tropical island” siren. (To the No Girlfriends Since Birth and DOMs reading this column, do your own research online.)

When I went to Sicogon Island for the shoot, I fell in love with the place. (Factoid: Gloria Diaz’s launching movie Ang Pinakamagandang Hayop sa Balat ng Lupa was shot on Sicogon Island.) The idea was to look for sites around the island for the shoot. But the concept for how it should look was my prerogative. My motivation for my look was to show the beauty of the female form — the curves, the way we bend our bodies — that, to me, is beautiful. You must see the whole of it, the gestalt; you don’t just focus on certain parts of the body. I wanted people to look at my photo and see the forms and the lines.

My barkada and I would have done better at geometry in high school if our textbooks had these lines and curves.  

When my photos were being taken, I wanted to exude the image of “Eve.” If I were the only woman in this world living on this island with nobody else, how should I look? It should be a wild look, not so polished. 

Wow, I didn’t realize how much motivation you put into those pictures. Nowadays, some of the models just let the silicone do the job for them.

I also didn’t want my eyes to project that “come hither” look. The look I wanted to project was that Eve was lost and all alone in the world and just enjoying the environment. There was no malice involved. And Eve also borrows traits from animals. If you look at the photos, some of the poses are very lizard-like, the others are leopard-like, and the others are snake-like. I borrowed my ideas from nature.

Yes, Ma’am Tetchie, I have had the opportunity to study the pictures several hundred times. I see the call of nature for you was very strong.

When you look at my pictures, take a good look at my face, my hands and my toes. There was one pose where I was on top of a tree branch, kneeling on one knee and holding a python in my hands. But if you look at my toes and fingers, you don’t see a strain on them. It’s hard to keep your balance and your form and yet appear relaxed.

I will make sure to observe your extremities, Ma’am Tetchie, among other things.

And every time I posed, the photographer reminded me that I had to be on my tiptoes so that my leg muscles would look firm.

I will remember that the next time I pose nude.

Divine Intervention

Was Hugh Hefner involved at all in choosing you as a Playboy model? Did you ever get to talk to him? If you have his cell phone number, please let him know that I would like to thank him for my productive yet psychologically disturbed childhood.

No, no! Never, not at all! I’d be scared to meet him. I’d be scared to even step into the mansion.

Someday, Ma’am Tetchie, you and I will have to confront your fear together. 

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