Meet the male nurse: The Gaylord Focker persona
In popular culture today, from the hit TV hit series Scrubs to Ben Stillers’ Gaylord Focker character in Meet the Parents, nurses have been on the receiving end of countless jokes and innuendos. There used to be that stereotype of the male nurse as some twinkle-toed fairy, dancing down hospital hallways as a woman wannabe — but no longer. The dictates of our economy have empowered young Filipino men to explore the world of nursing, once exclusive only to females.
One of the biggest obstacles to attracting men to nursing was the lingering notion that it simply is not something that men do. The word itself — nursing, which means to care for or to breastfeed — is inherently female.
But the phenomenon of Filipino nurses being hired for overseas postings that earn up to 10 times their local wages has changed everything. Now, even doctors who are looking to migrate to greener pastures, humble themselves into what virtually is a demotion for a chance to go abroad and earn dollars. All of a sudden, the male nurse has gotten for himself a whole different image — shiny, spanking and new!
My husband was recently confined in hospital for a whole week for severe flu-like symptoms of high fever, chills, and head and body aches. I was shocked to find a burgeoning male nurse population the moment we walked into the ER. Fifty percent was the unanimous answer when I asked around for the ratio of male to female nurses in that particular hospital. Wow! In the six years since I last gave birth, the male nurse population has exploded to supernova magnitude. Good for them.
Nobody offered as much comfort, both physical and psychological, as the male nurses. They patient check every 30 minutes and in those seven days, I had the pleasure of observing dozens of nurses at work, both male and female. No one can beat the male nurses in their fast, precise, unfailing, and unwavering actions. Their economy of words, speed of movement, and timely decision-making skills elevate them a cut above the rest. They don’t giggle and ply you with sugarcoated replies when you need the unadulterated truth. And there is nothing like having a commanding male presence in a white professional uniform barge into a room of panicking adults saying, “What can I do for you?” One’s immediate instinct is to surrender everything and just say, “Here, fix it.”
Male nurses seem more efficient, more result-oriented. They give straight answers; they get things done; they make life simple, period.
Having observed as much, I was on the prowl for male nurses who had moments to spare for quick interviews. Admirably, most of them turned me down because of duty-related constraints. But my stalking skills and female persuasive traits (translation: kakulitan) worked as Robert Cayco and Sherwin Mapa agreed to off-duty five-minute conversations.
“Who do you think are easier to work with, male or female nurses?”
Thirty-six-year-old Robert Cayco said diplomatically, “Both. Mas mabilis lang ho siguro kami kumilos.” Stated like a true gentleman, which earned him even more points in my book. But this single answer does explain everything; male nurses are faster.
“Physical strength comes in handy though right?”
To which Robert answered, “Not really, because we have orderlies to handle the lifting of patients, pushing of stretchers and wheelchairs and our janitorial services bother with the housekeeping stuff. We concentrate on the patients.”
“What do you like most about being a nurse?”
He said, “The very act of it; nursing the patients back to health. The sense of fulfillment for us cannot be measured. I see the whole life of the patient while he’s in my care. I meet his family; I see what their relationships are like. I see if they pray. If they’re irritable I get to comfort them. I become part of their world for a little while. I like it. The patient’s transition from illness to wellness is like a prize to us.”
“What don’t you like about it?”
Robert answered, “The fatalities; there are a few. I know we are not supposed to get emotionally attached and we do our best to follow that. But sometimes we can’t help it; we’re human. That’s the most difficult.”
Twenty-three-year-old Sherwin Mapa recalled his first fatality: “He was geriatric and had been in hospital for a long time but he died on my watch. It was painful. I couldn’t go to work the following day. Each patient is like a flower that you cultivate, a nurse has to have the talent and patience for that. I enjoy it so much, the patient-nurse interaction.”
“Is it difficult working as a nurse?”
Sherwin answered, “No, not if you like what you do. If you work in ICU, you have to have a fast mind and fast reflexes. If you work in the ER, you have to move fast. You have to have thorough assessment and diagnosis of your cases, you cannot be patay-patay. The best training I think is in the ICU because all the patients need intensive care. You always have to be on your toes. There is no interaction between patient and nurse because they can’t converse so you’re focused mainly on machines and you have to be good at reading them and in anticipating what comes next. You have to be always one step ahead.”
I asked both Robert and Sherwin what lured them into the profession. Robert said that nursing is a secure career move. Although it pays less than call centers, yielding an average pay of P12,000 a month against the call centers’ P15,000 a month. He added, “There is no growth in call centers. While here, there are still many avenues to explore.” Sherwin said, “I’m looking forward to taking my masteral studies.”
“Are you in it for the opportunity to go abroad?”
Robert answered, “That’s the common assumption — but there’s currently retrogression in the hiring of nurses for overseas posts. They say it might take five years — so, no, not for that. My sister, also a nurse, has been there for many years. I’m okay here; my parents are here. But eventually, who knows?”
Sherwin chuckled, saying “I know it sounds corny when I say this but it’s true; going abroad is secondary to me. I just really enjoy the work; I like taking care of people.”
It is curious that both of them had similar answers to why they chose the nursing profession over every other option. It is because they both have disease-stricken parents. In Sherwin’s case, his mother died of cancer when he was six. In Robert’s case, his parents still battle with hypertension. It has stopped becoming a coping mechanism for them — caring for sick people — and has turned into a control measure. They have seen their loved ones suffer and this is their way of giving back a little something of themselves.
Nurses have a strong innate call to care for others regardless of gender. So men need not feel stymied by the public perception of male nurses as fairies. So darned be Robert de Niro’s Jack Byrnes character in Meet the Parents; male nurses are not fruitcakes or wimps. They rock! Plus, that white uniform is actually quite cute.
* * *
Thank you for your letters. You may reach me at cecilelilles@yahoo.com
