How to attract women and keep them interested

Once, while I was in a café quietly sipping a macchiato and writing an article like this with my PC notebook, I was lucky enough to overhear a group of men huddled at a nearby table. Unaware that I was eavesdropping, they were candidly discussing their woes about women. The most handsome in the group caught my eye. He was around 31 years old, I guess, and from my vantage point I observed that he almost looked like a matinee idol: chiseled facial features, fair complexion, and chinky dark-brown eyes. His shirt hugged his muscled torso. When he later approached the counter to make another order, I couldn’t help but notice that he was probably around 5’10".

I was surprised when he started to bewail his experience of once strolling alone around a mall, where he passed by a happy couple. "How could he be so lucky?" he exclaimed to his friend. "That guy looked like a horse but his arm was around this tall bombshell clad in the shortest of skirts. And I thought how can I ever get myself such a woman?" He was talking to his pal who replied with a smirk and a hopeless gesture. The third guy nodded sympathetically.

Initially, I was saddened to discover that these men are quite typical. Their idea of a grand conquest is measured by the physical attributes of the "vanquished" woman. If this wailing guy saw an equally happy couple – but had the lady been an average-looking one, even if she was apparently enamored by the horse-looking conquistador – I wonder if he would still consider the conquistador lucky.

What I learned that afternoon, however, was that men, like women, are equally concerned about how to best attract the opposite sex and how to keep them interested long after the attraction. Since my interest had been piqued by the sweet ignorance of those men at the nearby table, I was almost tempted to join them and offer my advice for whatever it was worth. Not that I am an expert on this matter, but my girlfriends and I from the time of our birth and all our lives have discussed boys, men and the opposite sex. If our opinion does not count, then I wonder what does.

So for the clueless men out there, you may be interested to consider the following:

1. Good grooming does count, but please do not outdo the female. Let’s face it, your physical appearance really does count. It is the first thing women see and determines whether they will give you a second look. The metrosexuals thus have an edge in this game. And believe me, all women appreciate a cool, clean, manly scent. Not even lady smokers will claim that a man’s cigarette-smelling breath is sexy. Metrosexual or not, please be tactful, though, when you feel confident enough to criticize your partner’s sense of fashion or the way she puts on her makeup. You do not want her to ever doubt your real sexual orientation. And yes, walk around your subdivision, lift those weights, or work those gym machines because sexy also means healthy and fit.

2. A sense of humor always counts. No woman has ever been turned off by a man’s good sense of humor. On the contrary, women are put at ease in the presence of a man who can make them laugh, especially one who has no qualms about taking himself less seriously. Put a woman at ease and you gain her attention, and that is already a good start.

3. Read up, macho man. Women are now very educated and it is not that easy to keep their attention. They are becoming more particular about what’s between your ears. So if you are smart, better brush up on your reading. Pick up that book. Browse the Internet. Expand your interests. You are expected to be as intelligent as women are these days. But don’t strain yourself. Start reading up on what appeals to you first. The rest will follow. It is the willingness to learn that counts.

4. Appreciate her curves but please see also her wondrous soul. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who makes her feel beautiful, loved and wanted. So tell your woman how wonderful she looks in her new dress or hairdo. After all, she is wearing that for you. If you are a man of few words, your eager and relentless stare will make up for your silence. But do not forget that the curvaceous female with you is not mere flesh. She is a wonder woman of sorts, an amalgam of talents and quirks that make her totally unique and incomparable. Appreciate more of that, too!

5. Ooze confidence. Women are mesmerized by power. So perk up that power of belief in yourself. Women’s psychological antennae are programmed to seek out the men who beam with confidence. I said confidence, not arrogance. Never at any moment think that you are God’s gift to women. That is a total turn-off.

6. Believe in her. In this day and age, chauvinism is dead. Women can and will survive on their own. But yes, feel free to open the door for her. Offer her your treasured seat on the MRT. Pull out that chair for her in the restaurant. Do these things in a manner that tells her you are not doing it because she belongs to the weaker sex, but because she is your chosen queen.

7. Thoughtfulness bags the prize. Give her that single white rose, or even that wildflower you picked from your backyard. Invite her to watch the sunset with you or to linger under the stars. Clip that magazine article you think she will be interested in. Keep it minor but memorable. Costly gifts may sometimes floor her but it is the small things that you do for no reason or for no special occasion that will make you endearing to her.

8. Talk! She is dying to know you from your own perspective. She is fed up with guessing what is on your mind. A man who talks to his woman and expresses himself and his feelings well is a sure winner. And there is no better prelude to the intimate sharing of bodily pleasures than the seduction of the intimate sharing of thoughts and feelings.

9. Excel in something, or in many things. Be busy. Pursue your goals. Be successful. Then, the hard part: make her feel you treasure her above any of your pursuits! Once in a while, drop whatever is that most important activity you are doing, just to be with her. Call her on a busy day. Have a lunch date on a weekday. The possibilities are as endless as your list of things to do.

10. Let your love show. This I guess is self-explanatory. What is the point of your loving if your woman will have to second-guess? Let your love show. There is no point in hiding it.

Now tell me, do you have what it takes to attract that woman and to keep her interested?