They’re here! They’re queer! They’re super-stylish!

They’re out, loud, and proud. We’re not talking about gays, but the many, many fans of cable TV’s newest breakout hit, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

This weekly show on Entertainment Central (ETC) has hopelessly-addicted viewers tuning in Monday nights at 9 to watch five fashionable gay men transform one straight man from drab to fab, heterosexual to metrosexual. On his journey, he is waxed, peeled, shaved and shorn. He gets free clothes from designers like Ralph Lauren. His shoddy hovel is given the Architectural Digest treatment. He learns how to cook like Bobby Flay. And he acquires the suave polish of Cary Grant. What’s not to love?

Pinoys are finally catching on to what has been a year-old phenomenon in the US, despite being the gayest show on television. Queer Eye set new ratings records for its cable station Bravo with its premiere on July 15, 2003. It was the most-watched program ever and the most talked-about new show, with 6.9 million viewers hanging on to Carson Kressley’s every catty comment. Now, that’s influential.

How did it all start, you ask. Fittingly enough, it began at a Boston art gallery two years ago, where series creator and executive producer David Collins, who is gay, watched a woman scold her husband on his distinct lack of style. She pointed to a chic group of gay men nearby, asking, "Why can’t you be more like them?" Taking pity on the poor slob, the men immediately came over to impart fashion advice.

Collins thought to himself, "That is hysterical. That was like queer eye for the straight guy." He thought a makeover show where five guys who were experts in the fields of fashion, grooming, food and wine, culture and interior design, might work as a series, and pitched the idea to his best friend and co-producer, David Metzler, who is straight. And the rest, as they say, is bitchery.

Everyone agrees the secret behind Queer Eye’s success is the Fab 5, whose talents, personalities and bon mots are what make the show so watchable, and so much fun.

Blonde Carson Kressley is the show’s fashion savant, whose Oscar Wildean humor and outré persona help drive the series. (In one episode, Carson holds up one of the straight guy’s old, worn boots and says, "Did you buy these on www.uglyshoes.com?" In another, he surveys a bare-walled living room and quips, "This place screams women’s correctional facility.") Legend has it that Carson received his first piece of couture at age four. Since then, he’s worked as a freelance stylist and designed men’s sportswear for Polo Ralph Lauren. "Shopping is my cardio," declares this Roberto Cavalli fan, who’s a nationally ranked equestrian on the side. Kyan Douglas, the grooming guru, is undoubtedly the hunk (or "himbo," depending on who you’re talking to) of the group. Most women can’t help wishing he was the Will to their Grace, even if he seems to have the least demanding job (i.e., watching a straight guy get a face peel from a derma, while chatting from the sidelines about the wonders of exfoliation). In truth, the Aveda Institute graduate has long specialized in men’s skincare. According to Kyan, there’s no bigger male fashion faux pas than sprouting nostrils: "There’s no excuse for nose hair. Ever!"

Jai Rodriguez is Queer Eye’s expert on culture and manners, the gentle guy with maternal instincts and connections on and off-Broadway. (The show’s original culture vulture, Blair Boone, didn’t work out and Jai substituted in Episode 2.) This actor, singer and dancer loves musical theater and has starred as Angel in Rent. He also choreographed his own one-man show, which he performs at nightclubs, and put out a dance single entitled "Love is Good." Jai looks up to J. Lo for style and yet, his favorite book is Harry Potter. "Sorry, it’s a feel-good kids’ book," he says unapologetically.

Ted Allen is the food and wine connoisseur, with the unenviable task of teaching newbies in the kitchen how to make chocolate soufflés or dry martinis. Ever since a childhood barbecue tragedy (when someone left a can of cooking spray too close to a Boy Scout bonfire), Ted has made it his mission to educate male palates. He is a columnist for Esquire magazine, where he writes about fashion, sex, etiquette and cocktails in "Things a Man Should Know." He’s also the restaurant critic for Chicago magazine, and has interviewed Mario Batali, Martha Stewart, Paul Bocuse and Charlie Trotter. His idea of heaven? "One week hanging out with friends in a Tuscan villa, eating amazing food." And his guilty pleasure? "I don’t feel guilty about pleasures. That’s my problem," he says with trademark dryness.

Thom Filicia is the design doctor everyone wants to take home with them literally – he’s that good. This decorating whiz got his start early, tricking out his boyhood room with crown moldings and just the right lighting. Thom is now head of his own design firm, Thom Filicia, Inc., and with his vision of "classic simplicity" has decorated homes and offices for a celebrity clientele. Named one of House Beautiful’s Top 100 American Designers, Thom is currently obsessed with the construction of a six-acre bubble house on the bottom of the Atlantic ocean near the Bermuda Triangle, based on a little-known sketch by Leonardo da Vinci. His ideal Queer Eye makeover would be Jack Black, "because he could be hot, and I think he would be a blast." And the worst decorating sin? "Bright, bad lighting, like torchiere!"

Getting back to the show, most viewers think Queer Eye’s amazing makeovers take place in a day, but in real time it’s a tiring, four-day process:

Day 1 — In their black Suburban, the Fab 5 go over the file on their latest "victim" (hereby known as the Str8), a man who lives in the New York or New Jersey area, arrive at the guy’s home or office to rifle through his things, trash what they don’t like, and kidnap him.

Days 2 & 3 — Spent on research and execution, the boys accompany the Str8 to the salon, gourmet grocery and clothing stores. A design and carpentry team assist Thom as he revamps the (occasionally filthy) living quarters. "My biggest goal," Thom says, is for the guy to walk in and say, ‘Oh, my God. This is f–ing amazing.’ I want there to be a beep when the show airs."

Of course, all the gourmet grub, designer duds, etc. don’t come cheap. Costs are mostly defrayed by the Fab 5’s connections–"I have exhausted my entire Rolodex"– claims Carson, and product placement. While the Fab 5’s wardrobe on air is provided by designers like Marc Jacobs, Jean Paul Gaultier, Versace, Custo Barcelona, Etro and Ted Baker, all other products promoted on the show first have to earn the Queer Eye Seal of Approval – they have to want to work with these brands.

Day 4 — While the newly groomed straight guy presents himself to his family and friends, the Fab 5 watch from their "loft space" (actually their offices in Midtown Manhattan), to cheer and jeer him on. It’s all in the spirit of fun and hilarity; the five are constitutionally against any meanness. (It’s interesting to note that there are no divas among them. They share one trailer at work and get along famously.) At the end of the day (four days), the best compliment they receive is when the oftentimes emotional straight guy gives them a toast: Some don’t want the Fab 5 to leave, and one man has actually cried.

Just goes to show the far-reaching effects of this program. You might say fashion is fluff and style is superficial, but the understanding and camaraderie Queer Eye fosters between gays and straights only contributes to a more lovely, infinitely more beautiful world.

Carson Kressley’s Fashion Tips

1. Plaid and stripes never go together, and pleats make your butt look huge.

2. Any frame can be turned into sunglasses. Whether vintage or new, simply take your frames to your optometrist and have them install tinted lenses.

3. The only thing that separates us from the heteros is our unique ability to accessorize. Accessories are also great conversation starters. "Nice necklace – where did you get it?"

4. Caught in a sudden downpour? Good news for wet shoes: Stuff them with dry newspaper to help them dry out and preserve their shape.

5. The shoulder fit is the most important thing when buying a suit – it must fit your shoulders because buying a bigger jacket and taking in the pants is always going to be easier than the other way around.

6. Just by putting one hand in your pants pocket when you’re wearing a suit gives you a bit more definition to your look – and it makes you look cooler when you walk!

7. Keep patterned shirts simple. For example, the key to a good Hawaiian shirt is keeping the tones limited.

8. If you’ve lost a lot of weight, why not show it off with a form-fitting wardrobe? But make sure to pick colors that accentuate your hair and eyes.

9. When buying fashion sneakers, keep it simple by keeping to neutral tones.

10. Buy what you love, buy what you can afford. Ask yourself, "Does it look good? Will she like it?" That’s what’s most important in the whole process.

Kyan Douglas’ Grooming Tips

1. If your hair is thinning at the top of your head, and super thick along the sides, it really draws attention to the fact that you’re losing your hair. I suggest a shorter cut.

2. Tired eyes need eye cream for dark circles and a cold compress for puffiness. So kill two birds with one stone: Keep your eye cream in the refrigerator.

3. The best way to fight aging is to stay active, and Pilates is a great way to do that because it’s all about strengthening your inner core muscles, abdominals and all the muscles that you use to keep yourself erect (pardon the pun).

4. Resistance bands are great and obviously the thicker the band, the more resistance you get. There are a million and one ways to use them.

5. If you have some broken capillaries, it could be from drinking and sun damage. Take care of yourself. Drink moderately and use sunscreen of at least SPF 15.

6. The key word for bland hair is texture. Rather than taking a section of hair and cutting it just straight across, have your stylist cut into it. It creates different lengths within the interior of the hair.

7. What is the perfect amount of time for a guy to wait in between manicures? One month.

8. If your face needs a little extra definition (especially if it’s a little rounder than you’d like), leave a little stubble to give it shape. For some guys, a well-groomed 5 o’clock shadow – the rough look – is very sexy.

9. Bad breath is usually caused by bacteria and bacteria lives between your teeth, on your gums, and also on your tongue in the back of your throat. A tongue scraper takes all that odor-causing bacteria off your tongue. Just go to the mirror, stick out your tongue and scrape. Do this every time you brush your teeth.

10. Being handsome takes work. Do you think my face just "happens"?