Fooling & fibbing in shopping

Another pair of shoes!?" That expression sounds like an anathema. Your husband or partner has put you on the defensive and you’ve got to deflect all his verbal jabs the only way you know how.

With defiance, you answer, "It’s on sale, two-thirds less than the price tag. In fact I found them in the bargain bin. I’d be a fool not to buy it."

End of argument.

Feeling victorious, you open your wardrobe and make a sweeping glance at all the other pairs of shoes that you purportedly bought for a "bargain." Isn’t it a great feeling? You’ve won this round and you had successfully hoodwinked your husband with this ruse. It’s a scenario that’s being played in every household and known to every woman. You are a promoter of the tried and tested markdown game.

Whenever a woman enters a shopping mall or department store, it’s the foolproof script and dialogue that dances in her head; the same one she will use to breeze through any interrogation at home. By covering up the true prices we paid for goods and services, we avoid inciting our spouse or partner from looking up at the ceiling or suspiciously sideways. He is forced to take your word because not doing so would shake the very foundation this marriage or relationship was built on: Honesty.

Was there a smoking gun tucked under the sleeves of that bargain shirt? Can he prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that you twisted the truth? Is there enough evidence to read to you the Riot Act?

If you answered no to the above, your secret is safe. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him or your bankbook.

I didn’t realize just how widespread this occurrence was until I confirmed it from my wise and wily aunties. They admitted to me that they used the same trick on their frugal and bean-counting husbands.

"But honey, the store was getting rid of their old stocks; I got these at a "buy-one-take-five" promotion. They even gave away free detergent."

Of course, my aunties only threw in that extra box of soap to sweeten the already fabricated pot. They explained, "What many women spend on themselves is a heavily guarded secret. It’s like the legendary treasures of Ali Baba that you keep under lock and key, away from the snooping eyes (and ears) of everyone concerned, children and husbands included."

When I mentioned this to Bobot, my brother-in-law, he hooted and howled like a wild coyote because he said that unbeknownst to his trusting wife, he too used the same ploy to get away with that nth pair of jeans he got at the Ralph Lauren outlet at Barstow, California. He flat knew the whole routine. Wives are not the only ones who cheat on their shopping finds; husbands too!

A noted finance writer Jeff D. Opdyke explained, "It is common that before a couple enters into a relationship, most have had their own personal finances."

The argument "It’s my money so why can’t I spend it the way I want to?" comes into the picture.

"But in a relationship, the dynamics of money is altered: What is yours becomes ours or rather what is mine is mine, what is yours is ours!" Opdyke added, "But old habits die hard. So we all go into a relationship clinging to our personal finances because they are the final ties to our pre-relationship identity." He also stressed that "couples manipulate the truth where they can and when they can in order to exert independence over their money."

There you are. Take it from the financial expert.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s a tactical maneuver that can bring me double pleasure. I got what I wanted and I gave a semblance of shopping savvy-ness for getting a mint of a merchandize for practically a song – at least, that’s what I would like my husband to believe.

"Don’t forget. So long as nobody gets hurt," hollered my aunties.

And, that too.

Of course, it wouldn’t hurt keeping a separate account aside from the one that you share with your husband or partner. That’s to give you deeper pockets, more ammunition for that extra trip to the bargain bin. That’s the only time you can truthfully, honestly, without-any-doubt swear, "I didn’t spend a single cent from our account, honey."

Did I just blow my cover?