When the driver and the maid have a relationship
Dear Nanay,
Our driver and our maid are having a relationship. I am not sure when it started but they admitted it to me just last week.
I don’t know what to do with them. It is not really a problem right now but I fear that in the future it might be. If they have a fight, then it might affect their work. If they break up, how will that affect our household?
I want to remove the maid and maybe recommend her to my sister who lives in Parañaque. At least they will not be in the same household. Do you think this is a wise move?
Jenco
Dear Jenco,
Admittedly, there can be many potential problems any time you have relationships between coworkers, whether in the office or at home. They might start covering for each other or colluding. It might sometimes be difficult for you to find out the truth.
In addition, if they have a fight, then things could become personal. Mahirap na nga yung mga empleyadong nagaaway dahil sa trabaho. Pero kapag personal na yung pinagaawayan, mas mahirap iyon. (It’s hard enough when employees fight because of work. But it’s even worse when the fight gets personal.)
If your sister will take the maid and she doesn’t mind transferring to Parañaque, then maybe that is the best solution. Perhaps she can get a small raise to entice her to move. If she moves to another household, at least she and the driver will not be together in the same house 24 hours a day and it will be far more difficult for them to cover for each other if it will be even necessary at all.
If she does not want to move, then you have a more difficult decision to make. You will have to weigh all the pros and cons of your situation. Can you afford to lose the driver or the maid? Who will you let go? Is it fair to them to let one of them go? How big a problem do you really have with them having a relationship?
One thing you can do is to talk to the two of them and tell them clearly that you are watching them. If their relationship does not become a problem then you will leave things where they are. But if it does become a problem, then you have to tell them that you will consider letting one of them go. After that, just hope for the best because there really is very little you can do.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Do newlyweds prefer gifts or cash?
Dear Nanay,
Good day! In January 2010, I am scheduled to attend the wedding of a son of a friend. I was chosen as one of the principal sponsors (ninong). This early, I am already at a loss as to what gift I am going to give the would-be newlyweds — one they would appreciate.
It is in this light that I am asking for your suggestion/advice. Another thing I would like to clarify is that, should I choose to give them a gift (appliance, dinnerware, etc.), am I still obliged to give them a cash gift (pakimkim)? Likewise if I will be giving them the cash, do I still have to give them a gift?
Thank you and more power!
Marco
Dear Marco,
The most important thing to remember when giving a gift is the thought and sincerity behind the gift. The actual gift and the value should be secondary.
If you are asking what the couple would appreciate most, I think the answer to that would be the cash gift. With the money, they can buy whatever they like or need.
However, there are some people who do not like pakimkim because it can be a little impersonal. Parang hindi mo pinagisipan yung regalo na binigay mo at parang alam na alam yung “halaga” nung regalo. (It’s as if you didn’t put thought into your gift and the “value” of the gift is obvious.) I have also heard some people say that they like to give gifts because the couple will remember you every time they see it. But if you ask me, when in doubt, err on the side of practicality. You can never go wrong with cash.
And if you already gave a gift, I do not think there is a need for you to add cash. Likewise, if you give cash, there is no need for you to add a gift. Just one or the other should be enough.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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