Silver lining

We Pinoys are really good in the field of “celebration.” We celebrate everything — birthdays, anniversaries, homecomings, annual reunions, baptisms, circumcision, etc. Of course, it’s not just us. People all around the world also celebrate their own yearly occasions. But we Pinoys seem to take it to the next level. I’ve been living in Singapore for quite awhile, and I’ve noticed that while they do commemorate annual events like birthdays and office anniversaries here, it’s certainly not as fun and festive as how we Pinoys do it.   In the Philippines, if it’s your birthday, everyone treats you like a king (or queen). People will affectionately say, “Uuuuuy, birthday mo ba? Happy birthdaaaaaaayyyyy! Kaya pala ja-porms ka ngayon ha!”   They’ll pat you on the back, shake your hand, give you a semi-hug — even a kiss. They all make the extra effort to make you feel special.

Admittedly, however, I wasn’t really into birthdays or anniversaries — at least not until recently.   Before, I’d often ask, why do I need to treat anyone who’s celebrating his birthday or his wedding anniversary special? They didn’t do anything particularly special. Everyone in the world has a birthday. Osama bin Laden and President Robert Mugabe have birthdays. So what’s all the fuss? Even my wife is not so big on birthdays and anniversaries (thank God!). Of course, I always remember them, but even if I didn’t, I’m sure my wife wouldn’t kill me. She’s not the type. She doesn’t remember as well. Of course, certain birthdays and anniversaries are compulsory. My mom is very big on annual events. I think she even knows my pet goldfish’s death anniversary. She’s really good with dates. So definitely I have to remember her birthday, and the birthdays of each member of my immediate family. But other than that, I’m not really good with birthdays. In business, to a certain extent, I make an effort to know certain birthdays. I certainly try to remember my top clients’ birthdays. But sometimes, I question if my intentions are 100 percent pure. I sometimes think, do I remember their birthdays because they are my source of livelihood? Of course, some of them have become my close friends, and when I greet them, I mean it as a friend. But often, I remember their birthdays because it makes good business sense. So, in a way, I find the whole exercise a little bit hypocritical.

Also, the other reason I wasn’t so much into birthdays and anniversaries is because really, there is nothing much to celebrate other than the passage of time. My thinking then was, okay, I am 36 now and I’m turning 37 tomorrow. What’s the relevance other than the fact that the Earth made one whole turn around the sun? Am I a better person than I was the last time the Earth was in this position relative to the sun? Did I save a life? Did I discover a cure? Did I accomplish anything great? Nothing. It’s just pure narcissism. Sadly, I had become quite jaded about yearly celebrations. They just didn’t mean anything anymore. Because of my training in business, I had became too much of a results-oriented guy. My thinking about birthdays went something like this: If I just slept and bummed around the whole year my birthday would eventually come, whether I liked it or not. So what’s so great about that? Why should I be treated special? To me, the argument made business sense. If I had nothing to show, I didn’t deserve to be treated special. End of story.

However, two things recently happened that made me rethink my lack of appreciation for these yearly milestones. First, I received a book from my friend Marge Evangelista Jardiolin (my college classmate from Ateneo), entitled Age of Confidence. This book, backed by Nivea, was put together by Maryknoll (now known as Miriam) High School Batch 1984 in commemoration of their silver jubilee. The book is a compilation of beautiful short stories on Filipino women. They are all different. Some are inspiring, some are touching, some humorous, some heartwarming, and some uplifting. The book is a celebration of the beauty of life and its many diversities. The stories are divided into different topics: Family, Laughter, Love, Courage, Career, Global Filipina, Faith, and Wisdom. And the contributors are from varied fields and backgrounds. Some are well-known public figures like Margie Moran Floirendo, Angel Jacob, Criselda Lontok, Malu Veloso, Deedee Siytangco, Jackie Aquino, Girlie Rodis, Gabby Roldan. And some are more private people, but their stories are certainly no less interesting. Reading the book, I began to realize why we need to celebrate annual events like birthdays, anniversaries … and silver jubilees. And it all boils down to these two things: thanksgiving and hope.

That’s what it’s all about, really. But because a great thing was achieved. Not because a feat was accomplished. These annual events are celebrated and hyped up because we have so much to be thankful for — and, so much to look forward to. In the Age of Confidence, you will find stories that are about great triumphs and great successes. But there are also heartbreaking and gut-wrenching ones, like that of Maggie de la Riva (a victim of rape), and that of my friend Marge (a cancer survivor). And yet, the tone of each story ends with a sense of thanksgiving and hope. Almost every story I read concludes with an appreciation of the beauty of life — its ups and downs, its twists and turns, its hills and valleys — and how each one looked forward to what lay ahead.

Then, another thing happened. Last month, I flew to Manila for my own silver jubilee alumni homecoming in Lourdes School of Mandaluyong. Let me tell you, words can’t describe the feeling of seeing my old friends and buddies in the very same campus we grew up in. A lot of them look the same except that their midsections are bigger, they have bigger foreheads, and some of them have silver streaks in their hair. But it was the same old gang. During the night, we shared a lot of stories — old memories and funny anecdotes. We didn’t talk about the fights, the term papers, the expulsions, the rumbles, and the strict teachers. We talked about the good ol’ days. And, in an odd way, even the bad things were considered part and parcel of the good ol’ days. Again, just like in Age of Confidence, there was a lot of thanksgiving in the air that night at Lourdes. And a lot of hope.

Maybe there’s something about 25 years that gives you a different perspective on life. Twenty-five is the age when most people are considered at their peak. It’s a time to reflect on your growing-up years, and looking at what lies ahead. Silver jubilees for high school and college are something like that. There is a deep sense of nostalgia — certainly deeper than the 10th-year homecoming — or the 15th year. Plus, almost everyone in the batch is still alive and still relatively healthy, unlike golden jubilee celebrations where maybe more than half the batch is already gone.   There’s nothing much to hope for or look forward to during golden jubilee celebrations. So silver jubilees are often the best.

In a way, it was timely that I celebrated my high school silver jubilee this year. As we know, these are hard times. The recession is everywhere — and it’s affecting everyone. But celebrating the silver jubilee of my high school batch this year is a good thing. It reminded me that life is not just about feats, accomplishments, and successes. It’s about thanksgiving and seeing the silver lining behind every dark cloud. Times may be hard and it promises to be tougher. But as I learned from reading the Age of Confidence and from my own homecoming, life is not about what we achieve. It’s not about our successes. It’s about our overall attitude towards life — our thanksgiving for our families, our jobs, our careers. And it’s all about the hope that we see in the silver lining, despite the dark cloud that confronts us.

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Thanks for your letters, folks! You may e-mail me at rodhnepo@yahoo.com. By the way, if you want a copy of the book Age of Confidence you can e-mail Marge Jardiolin at m.jardiolin@yahoo.com. It’s definitely worth the read!