School of thought

Recently, I was watching TV and the movie Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion was showing. I never got to watch this movie when it came out, but I’ve heard so much about it from friends that I decided to watch it. 

The movie centers on two female lead characters, Romy and Michele, played by Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow. Romy and Michele are two ditzy blondes who have been friends for life. In high school, they were always tortured by the “popular crowd.” So they built this special bond. But with their 10-year-high school reunion coming up, they suddenly feel the “pressure” — that is, the pressure of giving the impression to their former classmates that they have good careers and good lives and that they are now successful. So Michele goes out looking for a job, while Romy starts looking for boyfriends to take to the reunion. Neither of them succeed so they go to the reunion pretending to be businesswomen — business suits, cell phones and all. To impress their former “tormentors” they start claiming that they “invented Post-Its.” At the reunion they encounter their old rivals, Christie, Cheryl and Kelly, along with a girl named Lisa. But then comes this girl, Heather, who blows their big lie and lets Christie totally humiliate Romy and Michele. The movie basically revolves around this “sticky” situation — and how they eventually get out of it.

I must admit, I felt a little weird that I actually enjoyed the movie because, basically, it’s a chick flick. But after awhile, I realized why I liked it. It struck a chord in me. I could relate to it because now, more than ever, it seems like I’m getting into a school nostalgia phase. And, coincidentally, it seems that a lot of my former classmates are also getting into the same mode. These days, I’m getting more and more invites to school reunions, homecomings and get-togethers.

I guess it comes with age. It’s hard to imagine, but this year marks the 20th anniversary of my college graduation from Ateneo. And some of my batchmates, led by my friend, forever-young AIM professor and business consultant Sato Ridad, are spearheading a giant Batch ‘88 get-together, entitled “MaBENTE Pa Rin,” on Nov. 22. They created this “Ateneo Batch 88” in yahoogroups — and have called on all those already registered in the group to invite all other batchmates that they know. And, as I monitor my e-mails, every day I see a bunch of batchmates registering and joining the group. Some of the batchmates who register are people I haven’t seen for 20 years. I get a thrill touching base with some of them, exchanging e-mails and simply catching up and reminiscing. 

School Of Thought

Whenever we have something in common with someone, we always feel a special bond with that person — sometimes, almost instantaneously. Sometimes, we’re introduced to a person, and we find out we’re from the same province. And you instantly talk in the same dialect — and automatically, there’s a connection. You instantly feel a little closer to that person. Or sometimes, you’ll discover that person is related to you. Almost instantly, you build a rapport with that person. But in business dealings, it seems that the one bond that really “connects” is having a common school. 

Why? I’m not really sure. If you think about it, most people hate school. I know I wasn’t a big fan of going to school. But now, whenever I have a chance to go back and visit Ateneo (or Lourdes Mandaluyong, where I studied elementary and high school), I don’t get bad memories at all. Instead, I get goosebumps. I remember only the good things. I don’t remember the drudgery of going to philosophy class, the struggles in meeting term paper deadlines, the inferiority complex I felt back then, or the boredom of physics lab sessions. What I remember are the good times — the tambay and alaskahan sessions near the cafeteria, the fun planning sessions for the school org party, the teacher-caricature-drawing-contests I had with my seatmate during English class, eating lunch at Pampagueña carinderia before the compulsory CMT (Citizens Military Training) march-o-rama, watching the pretty girls walking down the corridor or sitting on the park benches at the Admin Building. For some reason, your mind blocks out the bad memories — and you only remember college as “the good ol’ days.” And for this reason, whenever I meet someone from Ateneo here in Singapore — especially a batchmate — I get really excited to get together. A few days ago, I met up with an Ateneo batchmate, Jonathan “John” Young. We were blockmates during in our first year of college. I wouldn’t say John was in a barkada of mine. We didn’t really hang out every day. We had different groups. But when we got together, we couldn’t stop chatting. It’s like I met up with a long-lost brother. The bond was special. More special than meeting a province-mate — or a third-degree cousin. It’s probably because, during a certain phase of our lives, we were together every day. We went through the same youthful experiences. And to me, that’s stronger than most bonds.

Of course, not all people are the same. I know some people who are not too giddy or excited about school or batch reunions, homecomings and get-togethers. For some of them, it’s a “Romy and Michele exercise” — that is, getting a bunch of people together, with each one trying to impress one another by sharing what they have accomplished over the past 20 years, how many kids they have, and what their kids are doing (or have accomplished). Some people are not comfortable in those situations. For some, college was such a traumatic experience, that they don’t even want to be reminded of it. I do realize that people have different experiences and different emotions — and yes, a good number of people couldn’t care less if they never saw their batchmates again. But I think, generally, most people enjoy reminiscing and catching up with old friends.

Why is it important to value your school days and old friends from college? Well, for one thing, it’s good to reconnect with old ties. I find it really interesting that some of my closest friends in life are those I went to school with. I may not see them on a weekly basis — or even monthly. Some of them I don’t even see for years. And yet, I know if I’m in trouble — or I need help — or if I just want to share a problem, they will be there. The other reason why you need to value your school and school ties is for professional growth. In my professional life, I can’t tell you how many times I have been able to close a deal with a former schoolmate or batchmate. And it’s not a coincidence. Because, somehow, if you’re dealing with someone from the same school, you kinda trust that person. It’s almost like there’s this unwritten rule that says, “Don’t fool your old friend from school.” There’s almost like this voice saying, “Don’t worry. You can trust this guy. He’s from the same school.” For some reason — that bond — that commonality of coming from the same school, knowing the same people, and having the same college teachers — is a strong one. A bond of trust. I guess it’s because the assumption is this: you come from the same school, thus you share the same values. And that assumption is a very strong first step in business dealings. It’s not always true — but it’s a good starting point.

So for all those who may be reluctant to go school reunions — I know what you’re going through. If you can’t take it on a personal level, perhaps you can look at it from a business perspective. Whenever you network for business, it’s always best to start with your circle of trust — and this normally includes your old schoolmates. 

And for those who are in high school or college, cherish every moment of school life. It may be a chore now — but believe me, there will come a time when you will refer to these days as the “good ol’ days.”

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Thanks for all your letters, folks! You may e-mail me at rodnepo@yahoo.com. For those who belong to Ateneo College Batch 1988, if you wish to go the reunion on Nov. 22, please e-mail Sato Ridad at emmanuelridad@gmail.com.