In the past, I wrote about how a lot of Pinoys seem to have what I call the “anywhere but here” attitude. It’s that attitude which prompts us to think that the Philippines is hell on earth, and we’d do anything — like sell our properties and leave our loved ones — if only to get out. While it is a sad thought, we can’t deny its truth.
I don’t totally blame them, either. As I mentioned before, as beautiful as the Philippines is, I don’t know if anyone is ready to classify it as the Promised Land. I don’t think anyone thinks of it as “the land of milk and honey.” And, as the saying goes, “No honey, no money.” Or is that the other way around? Anyway, my point is this: for a lot of Filipinos, money is hard to come by in their homeland. And unfortunately, when money is hard to come by, it’s hard to be fired up with a sense of national pride. Add in factors like the lack of infrastructure, poor urban planning, a culture of corruption, and a social security system that’s wanting, and viola, you have the perfect formula for the “I want to get out of here” virus to spread.
Now, I must admit, a couple of years ago, my attitude towards all those who had left the country was a mixture of sadness and envy. I felt sad because all these people basically threw in the towel and gave up. The other feeling was that of envy — because deep inside, there was a part of me that also wanted to escape. But something was stopping me. I guess one major factor was family. No one wants to be away from loved ones. But then again, I realized that most of my family live abroad already. If loyalty to a country hinges on where one’s family is, I should be loyal to the US because that’s where most of my siblings are based now. So that can’t be the major factor that’s holding me back.
Another factor that was preventing me from leaving was a sense of guilt. I didn’t want to subscribe to the view that the Philippines was totally hopeless. I wanted to help the country out. I wanted to contribute something — something positive. And I felt the best way to help was to stay put — be in the thick of things, and battle the daily war against corruption, laziness, and indifference.
But all that changed a few months ago. One day, my Singaporean boss told me, “Rod, I’d like you take on a regional role for the company. I want you to oversee our Southeast Asian operations, including the Philippines. You’ll have to be based in Singapore, though. Is that okay with you?”
Of course, my initial reaction was, “Are you kidding me? Absolutely! Where do I sign? I’m booking my flight right now.” But then a sense of sadness and guilt enveloped me. And questions started popping up in my mind, like, “Are you giving up on the Philippines? Are you finally copping out? Are you taking the easy way out? Are you doing this to escape? How about all the Filipinos who need help, and who could use your knowledge and skills?” I felt I was turning my back on the motherland.
At the end of the day, though, I decided to go. In terms of career advancement, it was a no-brainer. I said to myself, “Oh, well, OFWs are now the ones being touted as the heroes of the nation (primarily because of the dollars they remit to the country). So I guess it’s not too bad to join the ‘rank’ of heroes.” So off I went.
OFWS’ Heroism: A True Eye-Opener
I’ve only been an “OFW” for four weeks now, but let me tell you, my impression of OFWs has significantly changed since moving to Singapore. I’ve always held OFWs in high regard. I’ve always respected them and I was always aware, at least in a cognitive sense, of the sacrifices they have to endure. But having had firsthand experience of what they go through — let me tell you, they are more than just hardworking people bringing in dollars to help boost our economy. They are more than just people wanting to escape. They are truly my idols — my heroes. These are people battling a lot of things every day, the greatest of which is homesickness. Over the span of four weeks, I’ve never felt more homesick in my entire life. And “sick” is the perfect term to use. You literally feel sick inside when you think of home — not because home is a sickening thought, but because you’re so far away from it. Before I left for Singapore, I said to myself, “Nah, it won’t be so bad. Singapore is still Asia, it has the same weather as the Philippines, and it’s only three and a half hours away. Besides, I’m going to be with the wife. And there are so many Pinoys there. So I’ll be fine.”
But boy, was I wrong. Once I started working and the day-to-day drudgery set in (e.g. getting a bus or riding the MRT to work, doing errands, paying bills, washing dishes, washing clothes), I realized that life here is essentially the same compared to my life in the Philippines. I still have to wake up at 6:30 a.m., get out of bed, work my butt off, pay my utilities, deal with egos and politics in the office, deal with difficult clients, open my e-mail, and go back home and deal with the rush-hour crowd. The only difference is that here, there is less smog, a better transportation system, less traffic, and nicer scenery. But it lacked one thing — one essential thing. It wasn’t home. And it never will be. And that’s the sickening thought. I thought to myself, “Every day spent here is another day spent away from home.” And I felt sad about that. For me, if there is one thing that makes OFWs heroes, it’s the fact of being able to fight the feeling of missing home. It’s a tough fight but they all go through it and manage to live with it.
Admittedly, there are some Filipinos who are better equipped to handle homesickness. Some have even adjusted so well that they eventually find no reason to come back home. But I think that’s more of the exception rather than the rule. Almost every Pinoy I have spoken to here longs to go back home. They speak of the Philippines as if speaking of a long- lost loved one — like a Promised Land they are constantly seeking. One Filipina who worked as a receptionist in one hotel where I was staying told me, “Hi, Sir, galing kayo sa ’Pinas? Buti pa kayo. Gustong gusto ko umuwi talaga. Kung puwede lang talaga.” (“Did you come from the Philippines? Good for you. I really want to go home. If only I could.”) I could really sense a lot of pain in her voice. I was talking with my brother, Nilo, who is also based here in Singapore. Last year, when I was still based in the Philippines and he was already in Singapore, he said something that really amused me. He said, “You know, in a weird way I miss everything about home, including the bad things we complain about like traffic, car horns, and pollution. You miss the chaos.”
At the time he said that, I thought he was crazy. And now, I can fully relate to him. I do miss the traffic and the craziness, especially in Manila. Before, I used to hate the headlines in the Philippines. You’d have headlines like, “Renegade captain holes up in five-star hotel,” “Tank plows through hotel door,” “Rebels surrender, journalists arrested,” “TV station files case against police.” And those are the headlines for one day! Here, the headlines go something like this: “Ministry of manpower to have two types of working visas for foreigners,” or “MRT to expand in year 2020.” Really ho-hum stories, if you know what I mean. Perfect reading material to put me to sleep.
In a way, I am luckier than most OFWs. Since I still oversee our company’s Philippine operations, I get to go home almost every other month, which is a fantastic arrangement. That makes this overseas posting much more bearable. Plus, I have my wife with me, which is great. A lot of OFWs have to leave all their loved ones home. I can’t ever imagine ever leaving my wife at home — and not seeing her for a year. That, to me, would be a deal-breaker. Yet for most OFWs, that’s reality. They are willing to bear that pain — if only to provide for their families. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. There is surely a social repercussion to that. And it could be tragic.
I now fully comprehend the saying, “Home is where is the heart is.” There was a recent newspaper article saying that there now seems to be a reversing trend. With the weakening of the US dollar against the peso, more Pinoys are opting to go back home and contribute there. Let’s hope that trend continues. In the end, the country needs every Filipino — and every Filipino needs his country.
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Thanks for your letters, folks! You may e-mail me at rodhnepo@yahoo.com.
