What if you meet the parents and they don’t approve?
Dear Nanay,
I’m a 24-year-old small-time entrepreneur and my parents have always known about the status of my love life. I have had three ex-girlfriends, all of whom had great approval from my parents. All my past girlfriends were presentable by society’s standards; however, things just didn’t work out with them. Then I met Grace. We became friends, then started dating and eventually became a couple. I introduced Grace to my parents, but got a different reaction from them because she works as a babysitter. Both Grace and I talked about it and decided that our relationship had to end before either of us got hurt. We seldom see each other now. Do you think we made the right decision of separating this easily without fighting for it? Should I ask her to elope?
JT
Dear JT,
Only time will tell if you made the correct decision.
Wait a while and if you are meant for each other I think you will end up together again. Hindi rin kayo makakatiis. (You both won’t be able to stand being apart.) However, if you both meet other people and do not get back together, then perhaps it was not meant to be.
Don’t forget, distance makes the heart grow fonder. And if it is God’s will, then you will find each other again.
And so what if she is a babysitter? Mabuti nga iyon, trained na siya (It’s good that she’s already trained to take care of your future babies!) But only time will tell you if this is something worth fighting for. Be patient.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Becoming ‘Frenemies’
Dear Nanay,
I am a graduating student and I have a friend whom I’ve known since high school. However, since October we have not been on good terms because we had a disagreement. Truth be told, it was actually a small matter and should not have escalated. I have tried to reach out to her, but to no avail. I feel bad because I have taken the first step, but she does not respond and I cannot understand what she wants. She wrote to me once but at that time I wasn’t able to reply to her letter because I thought everything was okay already. However, I was wrong because after that she ignored me again. I feel like she goes out of her way to let me know that she is still angry. So I just keep quiet. However I cannot take it anymore. It is difficult to be avoiding someone who is in the same room as you. And I am a youth leader in our church who should be setting a good example. I want to graduate already so that I won’t have to see her anymore. What should I do? I have forgiven her but I cannot restore our old friendship. What I really want is to get rid of the discomfort within myself and to just know na civil na lang kami at wala nang iwasan (that we’re civil to each other and not trying to avoid each other).
Gem
Dear Gem,
By all means, I think you should try to rekindle your friendship. Try and reach out to her and see if things can be the way they once were. However, if you have tried to mend the bridge a couple of times and still she does not respond to you, then do not force it. Wala ka nang magagawa kung ayaw na niya makipagkaibigan sa iyo. Huwag mo pilitin. (There’s nothing you can do if she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Don’t force her.)
You have given it your best shot. You cannot control her. If that is what she wants, then you cannot force her. Lalo lang siya maiinis sa iyo. (She will just get more annoyed with you.) It is time to move on. Otherwise, this will bother you for the rest of your life.
You say you have forgiven her, but I don’t think you have. You are still holding on to both your anger and disappointment. Baka nga siya pa yung nakakalimot na habang ikaw ay kumakapit pa rin. (Maybe it’s she who has forgotten about it, while you’re still hanging on.) I think it is time for you to let it go and get on with the rest of your life.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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