Failure vs. management of expectations
I am a second-year college student. In high school, I always fantasized about being the class valedictorian, but I was just an average student back then. I never really pushed myself to the limit. Now that I am in college, I am determined to make this dream come true. The problem is there are other students who have a much higher GPA than mine and I am worried I will never reach my goal.
Karen
Dear Karen,
I think what you really need to be aware of is something called “management of expectations.”
It is perfectly all right to set lofty goals. I don’t see anything wrong with that. As a matter of fact, many people would encourage you to “shoot for the stars.” But you also have to realize that if you are unable to reach your goals, that does not mean you failed. That does not mean you’re a failure or a loser. So you should not necessarily be disappointed if you do not reach your goal.
You also have to realize how much of your goal is really attainable. For example, if you want to win the lottery. O gusto mo maging unang tao na tumungtong sa ibang planeta. O gusto mo talunin sa basketball si Michael Jordan. Eh, talagang mahihirapan tayo diyan. (Or if you want to be the first to set foot on another planet. Or if you want to beat Michael Jordan at basketball. You’ll have a hard time with those kinds of expectations.) It is not very realistic to expect that those things will ever happen. So you just have to keep this fact in the back of your mind and accept it when it doesn’t happen. Okay lang to dream the impossible dream, pero somewhere along the way, management of expectations lang.
I think your goal needs to be “to do your very best to be the very best you can be.” And then you can see what happens. If you are not the valedictorian, maybe you will be the salutatorian… and there is nothing wrong with that. That is something you should be very proud of instead of being disappointed.
It is good that you have the drive and determination. That is more than half the battle. Because in life, hard work is one of the few things actually within your control on the road to success. And you are still young. If you cannot be the best in school, with your drive, ambition and talent, then I am sure you will find something else that you can be the best in.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Working For The Competitor
Dear Nanay,
I work in one of the giant telecommunications companies and I also do modeling on the side. Recently I accepted a major role for a competitor’s television ad, which I believe they will be broadcasting in the coming months. I did not seek any legal advice or ask permission from my employer if it is okay since I was afraid they might not allow me. Sayang naman yung talent fee (I didn’t want the talent fee to go to someone else). What will I do? Should I seek assistance from our corporate governance department?
Working Model
Dear Working Model,
Medyo mahirap iyang napasukan mo. (That’s a rather difficult situation you’ve gotten yourself into.)
If you ask me, medyo hindi maganda yung ginawa mo (what you did was not very nice). There may not be any prohibition in your employment contract about modeling, but I think accepting a job from a competitor of your employer is not in good taste. Admittedly your modeling job has nothing to do with your work and you did it on your own time. But you have to understand that when you appear in a commercial, it is as if you are endorsing the product that you are advertising. And if you are endorsing a directly competitive product, parang hindi maganda (that is not right). If you are modeling for a non-competitive brand, halimbawa shampoo o sabon (like shampoo or soap), then okay lang iyon.
If you wanted to be segurista (sure), you should have asked permission from your boss or talked to your corporate governance department before you accepted the job. I understand your apprehension that they might not allow you. But that is like your teenage child being afraid that you won’t let him go to a party so tatakas na lang siya (so he’ll go on the sly). Diba hindi rin tama iyon? (That’s also wrong, isn’t it?)
Having said all of that, what do we do now?
I think you should come clean. It is better that the news comes from you and you apologize before your boss sees it on TV or is told about it by someone else. You should also talk to your corporate governance department and ask for permission – even if it is after the fact. Explain your situation as nicely and as apologetically as you can and hope they will understand. Who knows? Baka pumayag rin sila, eh, di wala ka nang problema. (They might allow it; then you won’t have a problem.)
Sincerely,
Nanay
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