Milestone or millstone?
January 9, 2006 | 12:00am
LOS ANGELES – As I write this piece, I’m savoring the cool California breeze and the wonderful ocean view in this quaint Santa Monica beach restaurant called Surf View Cafe, together with my wife, Teemy, and our very good friend Ricky Ramos. My entire family spent the holidays here in the US to commemorate a very important event – the golden wedding anniversary of my folks who celebrated 50 years of marital bliss last Saturday, Jan. 7. Actually, it’s been a celebration of momentous milestones for my family these past weeks. Teemy and my brother Noel celebrated their birthdays last Dec. 15 and 16, respectively. Teemy and I just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary last Dec. 28. And of course, there was the festive Christmas season that just finished. It’s been one celebration after another. Whew!
As Ricky, Teemy, and I munched on our chilidogs and fish n’ chips, we started talking about the importance of marking milestones in our lives. It was an interesting conversation as each of us had our own view on how people ought to commemorate and celebrate special occasions. As we discussed, it dawned on me how different people are when it comes to observing special days like anniversaries and birthdays. Some people prefer engrande bashes, with the whole world invited to the party. Others prefer smaller get-togethers with family and a handful of friends. And there are others who simply let special days pass – like they were just any other ordinary day.
But regardless of how different we are in celebrating occasions, we share one thing in common – we all mark certain days in our calendar. These are milestones in our lives. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year’s Day, Valentine’s, graduation day, VJ Day, Independence Day, death day, the-day-that-the-baby-took-his-first-steps day, the-day-the-dog-got-vaccinated day – you name it. If something special happened on a certain day, we mark it and then we tell ourselves, "Next year, on this very same day, and every year after, we will remember this occasion." These days are like bookmarks in the various chapters of our lives. They are the special occasions that we consider "high points" in our life journey.
Personally, I am not one for grand celebrations, especially when it comes to birthdays. Don’t get me wrong. I think birthdays and anniversaries are worth taking note of. I enjoy going to occasional birthday bashes of friends. And on a personal note, I get really touched when a person remembers to call me or greet me on my birthday. Birthdays and anniversaries make us feel special. They remind us of a significant event in our lives.
But if you ask me, I’m not really a big-shebang birthday party guy. I’d probably have a nice dinner or have a drink with friends. Perhaps I’ll go to Mass, thank God, and count all the blessings in my life. But that’s it. The other birthday stuff – e.g., the blowing of candles, cutting of birthday cake, birthday gifts – they’re OK. But frankly, I can live without them.
I remember quite distinctly the day when I started losing interest in celebrating my birthday. It was when Elvis Presley died. The King of Rock ‘n Roll died when I turned 10 years old – Aug. 16, 1977. Ever since then, every time my birthday came along, there would always be Elvis Presley tributes on TV and magazines. For millions of Elvis fans, Aug. 16 is a dreaded day. Whenever I research "On This Day" websites, my birthday would be marked as "the day Elvis died." Dang. But then again, my sister Cynthia has it even worse. Her birthday is on Sept. 11. That day used to have the ignominy of being the birthday of former President Marcos. Now, whenever you say 9/11, only one thing comes to mind: terrorism. My sister would usually get a negative reaction when she says Sept. 11 is her birthday.
Anyway, the day Elvis died, it dawned on me that the birthday of some guy could be the death day of another guy. It was a poignant realization for me. If you think about it, each day is a reminder of good things and bad things. Don’t get me wrong, OK? Like I said, birthdays are wonderful occasions – regardless of who died that day. After all, it happens only once a year. But I think we’re putting way too much thought, too much pizzazz, and too much emphasis on birthdays. Whenever showbiz people celebrate their birthdays on noontime shows, you’d think that it’s a Mardi Gras or something. You’d think that they won an Oscar or an Emmy. There would be fireworks popping, endless tributes from colleagues, and confetti trickling down continuously. C’mon. It’s just a birthday, guys. It’s not like the celebrant got the Screen Actors Guild Award.
In fact, it’s not just birthdays that we hype up. We throw a party for every possible annual occasion that comes along. First communion, confirmation, first appendix operation, first hysterectomy – everything! For couples who have just gotten together, they even celebrate "month-saries!"
We put so much effort in celebrating these milestones in our life journey that we sometimes forget that the most important thing is really celebrating life on a daily basis. I know this sounds cliché but we can never overemphasize it – every day is a special day.
And this principle applies to our business life as well. Corporate life is never just about the "special days" like April 15 or Dec. 31 (or the end of the fiscal year). It’s not about the corporate anniversary. And it’s not about the birthday of the chairman. The true measure of a business is not so much the number of years it has existed. Excellence in business is not about the date of the annual stockholders meeting or when dividends are issued. The essence of corporate life is the work that we do on a day-to-day basis and we have to put our 100 percent effort in everything that we do – whether it’s filing paper, fixing our laptops, or evaluating our staff. There is no such thing as a menial job or a trivial task. Any piece of work that you do that helps you perform your role in the company is worth doing – and it’s worth doing well.
The Great Wall of China was built block by block. By carefully and patiently placing each block, the Chinese eventually came up with the only man-made structure that can be seen from the moon. But it took commitment on their part – a daily commitment to add on the wall every single day. The same goes for the pyramids. How did the Egyptians come up with such magnificent structures? Simple. Block... by block... by block.
The principle in our workplace is the same. We word our memos poorly. When we hold meetings, we rush things. While we’re in a meeting, we answer text messages, we take calls, or we scribble reminders on our to-do list. We never live for the moment. We live and work for the special occasions – the so-called milestones. What we don’t realize is that the milestones are just there to remind us where we are. But the milestones are not the actual journey. Neither are they our destination. It’s what we do in between all the milestones that matters. We are never measured by the number of years we live, or the number of anniversaries we commemorate. We are measured by the life that we put in with the time that we have in our hands. It’s not the years in our lives that count. It’s the life that we put in our years that ultimately matters. Every moment you live is unique. Use it. Feel it. Live it.
And so, here I am in California, lounging around lazily. I miss home. And believe it or not, I miss work. But you know what? I consider this slow moment a special occasion. And I will enjoy every second of it.
Thanks for your letters! You may e-mail me at rodnepo@yahoo.com. Special thanks to Espie de la Cruz of Asia International Travel for arranging my itinerary for this trip. And to my parents, Reinfrido and Modesta Nepomuceno – congratulations on your 50th wedding anniversary! You are my inspiration.
As Ricky, Teemy, and I munched on our chilidogs and fish n’ chips, we started talking about the importance of marking milestones in our lives. It was an interesting conversation as each of us had our own view on how people ought to commemorate and celebrate special occasions. As we discussed, it dawned on me how different people are when it comes to observing special days like anniversaries and birthdays. Some people prefer engrande bashes, with the whole world invited to the party. Others prefer smaller get-togethers with family and a handful of friends. And there are others who simply let special days pass – like they were just any other ordinary day.
But regardless of how different we are in celebrating occasions, we share one thing in common – we all mark certain days in our calendar. These are milestones in our lives. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year’s Day, Valentine’s, graduation day, VJ Day, Independence Day, death day, the-day-that-the-baby-took-his-first-steps day, the-day-the-dog-got-vaccinated day – you name it. If something special happened on a certain day, we mark it and then we tell ourselves, "Next year, on this very same day, and every year after, we will remember this occasion." These days are like bookmarks in the various chapters of our lives. They are the special occasions that we consider "high points" in our life journey.
Personally, I am not one for grand celebrations, especially when it comes to birthdays. Don’t get me wrong. I think birthdays and anniversaries are worth taking note of. I enjoy going to occasional birthday bashes of friends. And on a personal note, I get really touched when a person remembers to call me or greet me on my birthday. Birthdays and anniversaries make us feel special. They remind us of a significant event in our lives.
But if you ask me, I’m not really a big-shebang birthday party guy. I’d probably have a nice dinner or have a drink with friends. Perhaps I’ll go to Mass, thank God, and count all the blessings in my life. But that’s it. The other birthday stuff – e.g., the blowing of candles, cutting of birthday cake, birthday gifts – they’re OK. But frankly, I can live without them.
I remember quite distinctly the day when I started losing interest in celebrating my birthday. It was when Elvis Presley died. The King of Rock ‘n Roll died when I turned 10 years old – Aug. 16, 1977. Ever since then, every time my birthday came along, there would always be Elvis Presley tributes on TV and magazines. For millions of Elvis fans, Aug. 16 is a dreaded day. Whenever I research "On This Day" websites, my birthday would be marked as "the day Elvis died." Dang. But then again, my sister Cynthia has it even worse. Her birthday is on Sept. 11. That day used to have the ignominy of being the birthday of former President Marcos. Now, whenever you say 9/11, only one thing comes to mind: terrorism. My sister would usually get a negative reaction when she says Sept. 11 is her birthday.
Anyway, the day Elvis died, it dawned on me that the birthday of some guy could be the death day of another guy. It was a poignant realization for me. If you think about it, each day is a reminder of good things and bad things. Don’t get me wrong, OK? Like I said, birthdays are wonderful occasions – regardless of who died that day. After all, it happens only once a year. But I think we’re putting way too much thought, too much pizzazz, and too much emphasis on birthdays. Whenever showbiz people celebrate their birthdays on noontime shows, you’d think that it’s a Mardi Gras or something. You’d think that they won an Oscar or an Emmy. There would be fireworks popping, endless tributes from colleagues, and confetti trickling down continuously. C’mon. It’s just a birthday, guys. It’s not like the celebrant got the Screen Actors Guild Award.
In fact, it’s not just birthdays that we hype up. We throw a party for every possible annual occasion that comes along. First communion, confirmation, first appendix operation, first hysterectomy – everything! For couples who have just gotten together, they even celebrate "month-saries!"
We put so much effort in celebrating these milestones in our life journey that we sometimes forget that the most important thing is really celebrating life on a daily basis. I know this sounds cliché but we can never overemphasize it – every day is a special day.
And this principle applies to our business life as well. Corporate life is never just about the "special days" like April 15 or Dec. 31 (or the end of the fiscal year). It’s not about the corporate anniversary. And it’s not about the birthday of the chairman. The true measure of a business is not so much the number of years it has existed. Excellence in business is not about the date of the annual stockholders meeting or when dividends are issued. The essence of corporate life is the work that we do on a day-to-day basis and we have to put our 100 percent effort in everything that we do – whether it’s filing paper, fixing our laptops, or evaluating our staff. There is no such thing as a menial job or a trivial task. Any piece of work that you do that helps you perform your role in the company is worth doing – and it’s worth doing well.
The Great Wall of China was built block by block. By carefully and patiently placing each block, the Chinese eventually came up with the only man-made structure that can be seen from the moon. But it took commitment on their part – a daily commitment to add on the wall every single day. The same goes for the pyramids. How did the Egyptians come up with such magnificent structures? Simple. Block... by block... by block.
The principle in our workplace is the same. We word our memos poorly. When we hold meetings, we rush things. While we’re in a meeting, we answer text messages, we take calls, or we scribble reminders on our to-do list. We never live for the moment. We live and work for the special occasions – the so-called milestones. What we don’t realize is that the milestones are just there to remind us where we are. But the milestones are not the actual journey. Neither are they our destination. It’s what we do in between all the milestones that matters. We are never measured by the number of years we live, or the number of anniversaries we commemorate. We are measured by the life that we put in with the time that we have in our hands. It’s not the years in our lives that count. It’s the life that we put in our years that ultimately matters. Every moment you live is unique. Use it. Feel it. Live it.
And so, here I am in California, lounging around lazily. I miss home. And believe it or not, I miss work. But you know what? I consider this slow moment a special occasion. And I will enjoy every second of it.
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