Chairman of the bored

I recently accompanied my boss (aka my wife) to her favorite weekend hangout – Be Beautiful for Him, the neighborhood beauty parlor near our home. While she was having her usual hair and nail treatments, I decided to have an arm scrub so I could relax and unwind after a long week.

While having my scrub, I took out my cell phone and started twiddling with it. Despite the vigorous shaking of my arms (brought about by the massage), I somehow still managed to continue texting. Proper spelling is no longer important in texting anyway, so it was OK. So, even if my text to my staff was "Lts meat Mundey murng 8 tnx," it was fine; I knew they got the message.

As I worked on my phone, I noticed this toddler in the parlor. His mother was having her hair done and he was being tended to by his yaya. The boy was extremely restless, picking up and throwing everything he could get his hands on. All throughout my session, I watched this kid thrash the whole place. I was kind of amused and thought to myself, "Wow, this kid has so much energy!"

I glanced over to my wife to check out how she was doing. To my surprise, I found her staring at me. She had this certain look on her face. And I knew it right away. It was her patented why-the-heck-are-you-texting-while-having-an-arm-scrub look. Embarrassed, I replied with an "Oops" look on my face and put my phone in my pocket – and tried to enjoy the rest of my arm scrub. After about three minutes, my masseuse said the session was over. "Man, I didn’t even get to fully enjoy that," I said to myself. "Oh well..."

When my wife and I got home, I went straight to my computer, surfed the Net and checked my e-mail. While I was doing that, I fixed my desk, organized my CDs, and did some paper work. In the middle of all of this, I stood up, fixed my cabinet and placed my books in a container. And somehow, in between all of those activities, I managed to go down, fixed myself a cup of coffee, and tinkered with my iPod and tried to repair my car’s keyless system. While all of this was going on, my wife just lay on our bed, observing my every move. She tried to call my attention but I was too busy. She yelled and I looked at her, startled. "I’ve been calling you," she said.

"You have?" I asked her with a perplexed look. "I didn’t hear."

"That’s because you’re so busy with so many things. Why don’t you lie down for a while? Relax. It’s a weekend."

I tried to reason out but, seeing her don’t-argue-with-me-just-do-it-for-me look, I relented. I lied down with her and copied what she was doing – staring at the ceiling and not thinking of anything.

For the first few minutes, I felt I was gonna go crazy. But I focused on our white cement ceiling. I became bored. Very, very bored. Then, a strange feeling came upon. I began to like it.

I felt my whole body loosen up and settle down. I literally felt all the stress flow out of me. I felt like Phil Jackson – I hit the Zen mode. I enjoyed the peace and quiet. I just took it all in, enjoyed every second. Ironically though, it felt like a timeless zone. I was in suspended animation mode. After about 15 minutes, my wife snapped me back to reality. I felt much fresher, and much more relaxed. And I was in a better mood for the rest of the day.

That was a special day for me. I felt free and detached. And for the first time in a long while – and this is the ironic part – I felt in control. And this gave me more freedom in deciding what to do and what not to do next. It was very liberating.

To a certain extent, I am exactly like that kid in the parlor. Even when I was having an arm scrub, I felt I had to do something. But I realized that in the same way that I was somewhat irked by that kid, I guess I also irk a lot of people around me by being busy all the time – especially my wife. This can hurt people. I can’t count the number of times when I found myself talking to someone face-to-face, while at the same time texting to someone.

So, I have made a goal for myself. I no longer desire to be chairman of the board of any company. I want to be chairman of the bored. I want to master the art of being bored: to stop, relax, and not do something for a given period and just savor everything around me – my wife, my family, a sunny day, a nice rainy night, and the smell of pork roast. It takes a lot of skill to be chairman of the board. But it takes greater skill to be chairman of the bored. It’s a gift we should all aspire for.

Today, people seem to take a great amount of pride in saying, "I’m so busy! I don’t have time to watch a movie or go out." These people are slaves. I am one of them – for now. But hopefully not for long. I’m working on it.

As my good friend Atty. Mike Toledo said to me, "Relax and enjoy. Savor life. There’s a lot of time to be dead."

Very true.

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Thanks for your letters! You may e-mail me at rodnepo@yahoo.com.